Anybody Know Any Good Jokes?

Awww, I love these kind of jokes. The great thing about puns and word play is that they are language specific. They don't work when translated.

There is a hilarious joke in French based on the fact that "11 donuts" and "you can swim" are pronounced pretty much the same in French. I forget the setup to the joke, though, and anyway, it wouldn't make sense in English.
 
Awww, I love these kind of jokes. The great thing about puns and word play is that they are language specific. They don't work when translated.

There is a hilarious joke in French based on the fact that "11 donuts" and "you can swim" are pronounced pretty much the same in French. I forget the setup to the joke, though, and anyway, it wouldn't make sense in English.
Whet did the little horse say after he cleared his Throat?

"I'm still a little horse."
 
A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70s), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUSTN’T RUN AROUND ON ME, MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day, she heard the doorbell.

Much to her surprise (and dismay), she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

The old woman said, “You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you…you have no legs!”

The old man smiled, “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”

She snorted, “You don’t have any arms either!”

Again, the old man smiled, “Therefore, I can never beat you!”

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, “Are you still good in bed???”

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said,

“Rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
 
Three ducks go into a bar: "Say, what's your name?" the bartender
asked the first duck.
"Huey." was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey? "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else
could a duck want?" said Huey
"Oh, that's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and
what's your name?" "Dewey." came the answer from duck
number two. "So, how's your day been, Dewey?" he
asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?" The bartender turned to the third duck
and said, "So, you must be Louie?"
"No." she said, batting her eyelashes.
"My name is Puddles."
 
Three ducks go into a bar: "Say, what's your name?" the bartender
asked the first duck.
"Huey." was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey? "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else
could a duck want?" said Huey
"Oh, that's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and
what's your name?" "Dewey." came the answer from duck
number two. "So, how's your day been, Dewey?" he
asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?" The bartender turned to the third duck
and said, "So, you must be Louie?"
"No." she said, batting her eyelashes.
"My name is Puddles."
Puddles is a bar fl...duck.
 
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