OT - Mormon Scum!

Alcoholic9*

Active member
Joined
Sep 2, 2004
Messages
5,427
Reaction score
1
Points
38
Age
49
Location
Vegas
So my doorbell just rang and my dog Shadow starts barking like a mofo (good girl). I go open it and there they are with their white shirts, backpacks, and name tags. I barely opened the door halfway and recognize em for what they are and blurt out "Mormons, forget it, see ya" and start closing the door when one of em asks "do you know anyone in the neighborhood who can use an uplifting message maybe?" This hits me with the kind of laughter that shoots soda out your nose. Somehow I managed to get out "no" as I closed the door but I'm sure that wont stop em.

Was that mean?
 
TrueBeliever said:
Are you sure you aren't thinking of Jehovah's Witnesses?

No, in my experience the difference there is that JWs keep coming back or keep knocking. Mormon's are supposed to take no for an answer. If they don't they're being naughty and shall be smitten like the scumbags they are.
 
TrueBeliever said:
Are you sure you aren't thinking of Jehovah's Witnesses?

Nope you'd know Mormons if you seen em.

Here's a terrible story that ensures me a nice place in Hell. When I was 19 I didn't usually have access to a car and generally had to walk to the Liquor Store (the one with the people I had duped into thinking I was 23). A couple of (pretty sure they were Hatian) Jehovas witnesses canvassed the neighborhood one day and I feigned interest (probably cause I was drunk and acting stupid at the time.) The next week or so they showed up and I started "juicing them for rides" whenever they came around. I always talked to em for about 10 minutes and then said hey I need to go somewhere and had em drop me off at the T station which was right next to the Liquor Store.

After a while (I got a car) I just stopped answering the door.

See you all in Hell! :D
 
Alcoholic9 said:
Was that mean?
Yes. The very least you could have done would have been to give them the name and address of someone you don't like.

BTW, were any of them hot babes? I've been trying to talk my wife into converting to Mormon for years. Thus far, my argument of 50% less house work hasn't been very persuasive.
________
600
 
Re: Re: OT - Mormon Scum!

dchester said:
Yes. The very least you could have done would have been to give them the name and address of someone you don't like.

BTW, were any of them hot babes? I've been trying to talk my wife into converting to Mormon for years. Thus far, my argument of 50% less house work hasn't been very persuasive.

Nah two guys as usual. I think one time back in Boston I must have talked to a couple of em that came to my house because a few days later they sent the chix in. Let me tell you, these girls will want to make you convert. If you haven't noticed, the male mormons who canvas are generally young (30 and under) attractive white guys. Never once have I seen an old, fat, hispanic, or black mormon come pimp their shit at my door. Well you get the picture, the chix were beautiful.

I pissed em off though by asking them if they actually believed they would be Gods one day. They never came back. :(
 
Nah... It wasn't mean. When I was a teenager, I Had 'em come around one day, and I answer the door - black hair down almost to my waist, Black Sabbath t-shirt on, etc... invited them in, and I offered them lemonade, and some ummmm brownies I had... special brownies. VERY special brownies that I made since the folks were outta town for a few days.

Those two damn near ate the entire plate of em. After a while, they seemed to forget why they were there, and they ended up leaving...


They never did come back. Odd.
 
I asked because I have never heard of Mormons going door-to-door like that. Course where I live there are no Mormons that I know of, either.

Here's one sure way to get under their skin - the next time they come to the door, say, "Oh cool, I'll join if that means I can be married to five broads at once!"
 
Re: Re: OT - Mormon Scum!

dchester said:
I've been trying to talk my wife into converting to Mormon for years.


I considered converting to Mormonism ( is that how it's referred to? ) about 8 or 9 years ago.

But then Steve Young went and got married so there was no point to consider it anymore. :(
 
TrueBeliever said:
I asked because I have never heard of Mormons going door-to-door like that. Course where I live there are no Mormons that I know of, either.

Here's one sure way to get under their skin - the next time they come to the door, say, "Oh cool, I'll join if that means I can be married to five broads at once!"

We had both Mormons AND JWs come around. It was always JWs for the longest time, then we had the Mormons come once. I hadn't heard of it either. The only thing I knew about Mormons is that they had/have incredible genealogy resources. That seems to be their one redeeming quality. (My wife's family has some mormons in it, and they are not very nice people, so I've never gotten to know any well enough to say anything else :) )
 
Claremonster said:
The only thing I knew about Mormons is that they had/have incredible genealogy resources. That seems to be their one redeeming quality.

Yeah, it's important to know which Osmond you descended from. :D
 
Alcoholic9 said:
So my doorbell just rang and my dog Shadow starts barking like a mofo (good girl). I go open it and there they are with their white shirts, backpacks, and name tags. I barely opened the door halfway and recognize em for what they are and blurt out "Mormons, forget it, see ya" and start closing the door when one of em asks "do you know anyone in the neighborhood who can use an uplifting message maybe?" This hits me with the kind of laughter that shoots soda out your nose. Somehow I managed to get out "no" as I closed the door but I'm sure that wont stop em.

Was that mean?

I think it was mean because you failed to offer them a bong hit. Come on A9 where is your hospitality?
 
Re: Re: OT - Mormon Scum!

OSUBuckeye said:
I think it was mean because you failed to offer them a bong hit. Come on A9 where is your hospitality?

Sadly I'm out of weed ATM. Suppose I coulda offered em a beer though. :D
 
I've never had a Mormon come to my door, but I have driven the Joehova's Witnesses away twice by grilling them with questions about what I consider to be inconsistencies in the Bible. I consider it a moral victory if they leave in under five minutes of their own accord.
 
Ok, guys, I hope you don't hate me now, but I am a Mormon. We prefer LDS because Mormon was first used in a derogatory way that just stuck.

I know by the things I post here I am not acting very Christlike and I have contemplated quitting here because this is my one outlet to bad things.

We aren't crazy, I promise. And the exact opposite of Jehovah's Witnesses, thankyouverymuch.

I go every Sunday. I am hold titles in the Church. I think anyone that has a real belief in Christ should at least check it out, I think you'd be surprised. And they understand no means no, so if you tell them to go away, they will. We are big believers in free agency.

I recently converted, this month is one year, so I still have problems with things from my past and trying to get over things from before. I stopped doing drugs and drinkiing when I became a mom, so that part was easy, but it is definitley a lifestyle that you have to be ready for. Because it is just, a way of life and not just a religion. I still have a problem with cussing and bs-ing and things of that sort.

There are a lot of misconceptions about it. I listened to the Missionaries just to amuse my MIL. But to my surprise, what they teach is a lot of what I already beleived in. It just felt right.

It is the Church Of Jesus Christ, he is our Savior and we worship him and God.

I understand ya'll think we all are crazy and will say whatever you want, I know, I was the same exact way.

So, not trying to convert everyone or anything, just a subject near and dear to my heart.

Ask all the questions if you want.


And we don't think people who aren't like us are bad.
 
Jheavner said:
We aren't crazy, I promise. And the exact opposite of Jehovah's Witnesses, thankyouverymuch.

I hope you don't think that I was implying that LDS and JWs are interchangeable. I asked if Alkie was thinking of JWs because I had never heard of people of your faith going door-to-door like that and thought perhaps he had confused the two.

From what I know about JWs, they don't even believe in Christ. I believe their religion is more about the God of the Old Testament.

If I ever do start attending a church regularly again, it will be the same denomination I last attended regularly - United Church of Christ. And no, not just because they are a relatively "liberal" denomination.

Rather, what I like about UCC is that they make worshipping seem like something you can be happy about. It's like, "Hey, you know what? God loves us, and it's cool!" Not like the Lutheran church I was raised in, where the attitude was more like, "You better believe in God and Jesus and PRAY that He is willing to accept your worthless butt!"

And no offense about the "marrying 5 women" remark. I know that actual LDS members do not practice polygamy, and I'm sure y'all don't appreciate the stereotype.
 
Back
Top