Anybody Know Any Good Jokes?

foobahl

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I was living on a house boat and fell in love with the Girl Next Door.​


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But Sadly, we drifted apart.
 

Hawg73

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I'll try to explain this so it makes sense.

I spent a few hours at a bar called "Olga's Cantina" in the Star Wars section of Hollywood Studios the other night. It's theoretically located on the Planet Naboo and based on the famous Cantina scene from the original Stars Wars film and it was big fun to hang out there. Anyhow, the bartenders (all Naboo natives) were really funny and entertaining and performed a whole comic space schtick. One told a few droid jokes which were really cornball. I hit him back with an old classic based on the Kennedy family but I converted it to "Gungans" who are the dumbest species on Naboo (don't ask me why I know that). It went like this:

H73: How many Gungans does it take to change a lightbulb?
BT: I don't know, how many?
H73: It takes 10. One holds the bulb while the other 9 drink until the room spins.

He busted out laughing and said he was stealing it.

I've probably used that joke 20 different ways and it always kills. Try it yourself if you like.
 

imapig

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Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts
 

Patriot Ron

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A blonde gets pulled over by a Blonde Lady Cop.. While fumbling for her lic/reg/ins in her purse her eye gets caught on a business card size mirror. Seeing her face she assumes shes found her Lic.. The Blonde Lady Cop being handed the mirror as an ID looks into the Mirror , Hands it back and Says.. Why didnt you tell me you were in law enforcement too , Have a great day!
 

Big/Sky/Fly

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A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The cashier says: “you must be single”​

The man replied: “Wow how did you know that ?”

Cashier: “ Because you’re fucking ugly”
 

OSUBuckeye

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