Q: What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A: One of them is very heavy. The other is a little lighter.
A: One of them is very heavy. The other is a little lighter.
Anybody Know Any Good Jokes?
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BooHiss
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aloyouis
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Love mine.
spacecrime
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Awww, I love these kind of jokes. The great thing about puns and word play is that they are language specific. They don't work when translated.
There is a hilarious joke in French based on the fact that "11 donuts" and "you can swim" are pronounced pretty much the same in French. I forget the setup to the joke, though, and anyway, it wouldn't make sense in English.
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Whet did the little horse say after he cleared his Throat?
"I'm still a little horse."
aloyouis
at least generally aware
A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70s), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUSTN’T RUN AROUND ON ME, MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day, she heard the doorbell.
Much to her surprise (and dismay), she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, “You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you…you have no legs!”
The old man smiled, “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”
She snorted, “You don’t have any arms either!”
Again, the old man smiled, “Therefore, I can never beat you!”
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, “Are you still good in bed???”
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said,
“Rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70s), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUSTN’T RUN AROUND ON ME, MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day, she heard the doorbell.
Much to her surprise (and dismay), she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, “You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you…you have no legs!”
The old man smiled, “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”
She snorted, “You don’t have any arms either!”
Again, the old man smiled, “Therefore, I can never beat you!”
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, “Are you still good in bed???”
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said,
“Rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
aloyouis
at least generally aware
Three ducks go into a bar: "Say, what's your name?" the bartender
asked the first duck.
"Huey." was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey? "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else
could a duck want?" said Huey
"Oh, that's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and
what's your name?" "Dewey." came the answer from duck
number two. "So, how's your day been, Dewey?" he
asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?" The bartender turned to the third duck
and said, "So, you must be Louie?"
"No." she said, batting her eyelashes.
"My name is Puddles."
asked the first duck.
"Huey." was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey? "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else
could a duck want?" said Huey
"Oh, that's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and
what's your name?" "Dewey." came the answer from duck
number two. "So, how's your day been, Dewey?" he
asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?" The bartender turned to the third duck
and said, "So, you must be Louie?"
"No." she said, batting her eyelashes.
"My name is Puddles."
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You knew the risk opening this thread.
What kind of vegetable can give you an emotional release?
A cathartichoke.
A cathartichoke.
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Big/Sky/Fly
370hssv vhd7v tu36v
Puddles is a bar fl...duck.
RoadGrader
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who knew foxes have a sense of humor.....the tongue sticking out is the best tho 
A cat would have sprayed the camera.who knew foxes have a sense of humor.....the tongue sticking out is the best tho
View attachment 15969
aloyouis
at least generally aware
A dog would have smiled for the camera.
a cat would have done something cute off camera then turned his/her butt to the camera...🤣
Big/Sky/Fly
370hssv vhd7v tu36v
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So someone decided to take a picture of the camera sitting all alone on the ground taking a picture of some poor fox trying to take a dump?who knew foxes have a sense of humor.....the tongue sticking out is the best tho
View attachment 15969
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I recently figured out a way to weigh rainbows.
Turns out, they're pretty light.
Turns out, they're pretty light.
Rainbow has a shocked face…
