Anybody Know Any Good Jokes?

[Mr NFLfan]

An old Pilot sat down in Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’
He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca’s, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot – what about you?’
She said, ‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.’
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’
He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’

 

[Gumpboy45]

CELTICS

 

[imapig]

 

[TylerD]

Carson Wentz is a good QB

LMAO!!!!!! See what I did there???

Anywho.

 

[John Locke]

 

[foobahl]

View: https://twitter.com/BillyM2k/status/1664988941420834818?s=20

 

[HSanders]

 

[BostonTim]

View attachment 16815

Would also play well over at WTF.

Cheers,

 

[Hawg73]

A Priest and a Rabbi are sailing on the final voyage of the Titanic.

The ships hits the iceberg and begins sinking, so the Rabbi jumps into the nearest lifeboat
and yells for the Priest to jump in quick.

The Priest says "I'm not sure that is the right thing to do. Aren't we supposed to save the Women and Children first?"

The Rabbi replies "It's every man for himself! Fuck the Women and Children!!!"

Priest goes "I'll pass on the Women, thanks, but do you really think we'll have time?"

 

[imapig]

 

[TipRoast]

I would rank oranges and pears higher on the tasty axis, but otherwise this is mostly correct.

 

[Flagg the Wanderer]

Saw a variant of this years ago, but it's a classic, and has had the slang updated.