Anybody Know Any Good Jokes?

funny-dirty-cartoons-for-grown-ups.png
 
One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”

His wife asked, “How do you know?”

“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

Sorry.
 
I will never help anyone again......EVER! I'm too kindhearted, or I'm too stupid.....
😞

Yesterday it was so cold out that I took a man into my home out of the kindness of my heart. I felt so sorry for him, poor thing was standing stiff and frozen out in the cold, but this morning he had just vanished. Not a word...not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him.
The last straw?!?! When I realized he had peed all over the kitchen floor! That's the “thank you” I get for being good to people?!?!?!
Now I'm going to warn my friends to watch out for this man! He is heavy-set, wearing nothing but a scarf, he has a carrot-like nose, two black eyes, and his arms are stick skinny. Don't bring him into your house! What a mess he made on the floor.I will never help anyone again......EVER! I'm too kindhearted, or I'm too stupid.....
😞

 
I will never help anyone again......EVER! I'm too kindhearted, or I'm too stupid.....
😞

Yesterday it was so cold out that I took a man into my home out of the kindness of my heart. I felt so sorry for him, poor thing was standing stiff and frozen out in the cold, but this morning he had just vanished. Not a word...not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him.
The last straw?!?! When I realized he had peed all over the kitchen floor! That's the “thank you” I get for being good to people?!?!?!
Now I'm going to warn my friends to watch out for this man! He is heavy-set, wearing nothing but a scarf, he has a carrot-like nose, two black eyes, and his arms are stick skinny. Don't bring him into your house! What a mess he made on the floor.I will never help anyone again......EVER! I'm too kindhearted, or I'm too stupid.....
😞
This never happened in San Diego... :coffee:
 
No, you don't get down from a horse.

You get down from a duck.

:wave:
 
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