Bengals Karma-an arresting tale

fulltilt

Assclownism-it's the genes not a choice
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The economic meltdown has hit Ohio hard and Cincinnati in particular has been devastated. The fact is Cedrick Benson, Maurice Purify, Rey Maualuga, Pacman, Tank, Odell Thurman, Matt Jones and Domato Peko have not been arrested this week. I apologize to any non offenders I may have missed.
The ripple effect has been keenly felt in law enforcement as OT has dried up, many bail bondsman have had to short sale their vacation homes and Dog the bounty hunter can no longer afford hair cuts.
This also means the entire team has been available for practice. A well oiled machine that. Facing this juggernaut is a Patriots team in chaos.
Brady has no contract, Mankins is mulling over the Mass Dept of unemployment's offer of 650.00 per week. In fact Mankins has become such a bitch he was spotted last week outside a CVS store where he had just purchased some super absorbent sanitary napkins. Randy Moss is trying to escape his 6.5 mil chains of servitude.
All things considered, I think

We have no chance.
None.
Been through the justice system Bengals 56
Pathetic Patsies 3

We are DOOMED!!
Dooooomed I tell you!!
 
The economic meltdown has hit Ohio hard and Cincinnati in particular has been devastated. The fact is Cedrick Benson, Maurice Purify, Rey Maualuga, Pacman, Tank, Odell Thurman, Matt Jones and Domato Peko have not been arrested this week. I apologize to any non offenders I may have missed.
The ripple effect has been keenly felt in law enforcement as OT has dried up, many bail bondsman have had to short sale their vacation homes and Dog the bounty hunter can no longer afford hair cuts.
This also means the entire team has been available for practice. A well oiled machine that. Facing this juggernaut is a Patriots team in chaos.
Brady has no contract, Mankins is mulling over the Mass Dept of unemployment's offer of 650.00 per week. In fact Mankins has become such a bitch he was spotted last week outside a CVS store where he had just purchased some super absorbent sanitary napkins. Randy Moss is trying to escape his 6.5 mil chains of servitude.
All things considered, I think

We have no chance.
None.
Been through the justice system Bengals 56
Pathetic Patsies 3

We are DOOMED!!
Dooooomed I tell you!!


F*ck. It looks bleak for the three time champs. We are screwed!
 
OchoCinco goes nuts as TD T.O. and him team up to be the greatest of the great

Palmer becomes what we thought he was...a pro bowl top notch QB

The Defensive Bengals stomp a mudhole into the Pats Offense...pressuring Brady like Rothlisburger a Co-ed in a bathroom stall.

we are Doomed

Cincy OchoCinco
Pats Nil
 
The Bengals offense is so good that they're up by 52 by halftime. Cincy decides to rest Carson, and lo and behold, baby bro Jordan takes the field and racks up another 21 points. At the end of the game, Al Davis calls the Bengals FO and offers up Seymour and 1st and 2nd round picks for Jordan Palmer.

Bengals 73
Pats 9
 
Not even the Jaws of Life can save Tom Brady and the Patriots this weekend. What started out as a promising preseason continues to unravel as the Pats prove they are not match for playoff caliber teams. With the Red Sox imploding and the Patriots proving they are still years away, the Boston faithful now turn to the Celts and Bruins for any hope of a title.

Bengals ochocinco
Pats 12
 
By halftime Brady been sacked 12 times and been knocked down another 28 times. At the start of the 3rd quarter, he is seen standing by the watercooler in a puddle of his own piss, blowing snot bubbles, with tears streaming down is dirt-caked cheeks, refusing to go back into the game. Hoodie tries to drag him on the field, but ends up breaking his hip in the scuffle, and shredding the tendon in TB's right pinky finger. Season over before it starts.

The Mighty-Mighty Tigers from Queen City: 56
The Wimbley Queens from Beantown: 3
 
Holy crap its Batman AND Superman ? What is our pathetically inexperienced secondary going to do ? I can smell the burnt flesh already 2 days before the game. Our secondary isn't even going to be alive after the game, there will just be these burnt patches of grass on the field where they were torched and consumed by the fire.

Cincy Superheroes 48
Roasted And Toasted Pats 3
 
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