Broadway Zach Wilson and the Jets of DOOOM!!

gomezcat

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I know some of you probably think that last week's Pats game was a close thing and we could have won.

Frankly, that's utter bollocks, and this week's utter annihilation by the Jets will prove this. FACT. For those of you who don't know, writing FACT in capital letters on the Internet makes something true.

Damien Harris will run for minus 398 yards against the New York (Run) Stuff Exchange. He and the O Line will be a "toxic, oh shit we need to dump this on some stupid day traders" stock recommendation.

Mac Jones becomes Sacked Jones, as he spends more time on his backside than a lazy limey who supposedly "works from home". The Jets Evil Eleven will blitz Mac so successfully that the DBs will be rested at half time.

Mac will complete one pass all game - a bubble screen to Jakobi Myers. It will get blown to pieces by backup DT Folorunso Fatukasi, who will be in the Corner position.

Mac finishes the game with 1 completion out 66 attempts for Minus 49 yards, 30 incompletions and 35 pick sixes.

Zach Wilson, on the other hand, shreds the Pats' D to pieces. Ever the modest, humble, person, he starts throwing left handed over his head, whilst facing the wrong way.

I could go on, but it's not good.

Final score - Pats 0

J-E-T-S - 556
 

ParanoidPatriot

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The Jets have been playing possum for the last 50 years.
They are now ready to pounce and they have picked the Patriots to be their first victim on their way to a 16 game winning streak.
We are doomed.
 

bmooney54

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The Dolphins exposed the Pats as the frauds they are. Just score 17 points is the blueprint for beating the Pats. The JEST are still pissed about that Snickers commercial and will take it out on Matt Jones, or whatever the new QB's name is. The QB throws the ball the wrong way, WRs can't catch a cold in a pandemic, the TEs...that's a good one! :rofl: We don't even have one. [Frozen music] 🎶 For the first time in forever...the JEST will be in first place and the Pats will be in last place. We're fvcked.
 

John Galt

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The Dolphins exposed the Pats as the frauds they are. Just score 17 points is the blueprint for beating the Pats. The JEST are still pissed about that Snickers commercial and will take it out on Matt Jones, or whatever the new QB's name is. The QB throws the ball the wrong way, WRs can't catch a cold in a pandemic, the TEs...that's a good one! :rofl: We don't even have one. [Frozen music] 🎶 For the first time in forever...the JEST will be in first place and the Pats will be in last place. We're fvcked.

Love all of it.

I don't usually participate in these threads. But I will make a low brow, non-intelligectual exception just to say:


The Pats are fucked come Sunday at 1 pm.
 

3 Point Stan

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Nick Folk misses a would-be game-winner as time expires, then rips off his Pats jersey to reveal he is wearing his old, gangrenous Jets jersey underneath. Not since Triple H turned on X-Pac at Wrestlemania have we seen this level of betrayal.

Jets 5 - Patriots 3
 

spacecrime

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Down the lane
Off they go into the wild blue yonder,
Climbing high into the sun;
Here they come, dooming us with their thunder,
Max protect!, They got us on the run!
There’s Mac Jones, a pile of green he’s under,
Jetes live in fame while we go down in fla-a-ame.
Hey! Nothing'll stop the NY Football Jete!
 

John Galt

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Off they go into the wild blue yonder,
Climbing high into the sun;
Here they come, dooming us with their thunder,
Max protect!, They got us on the run!
There’s Mac Jones, a pile of green he’s under,
Jetes live in fame while we go down in fla-a-ame.
Hey! Nothing'll stop the NY Football Jete!

Love it.
 

Hawg73

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When You're a Jete
(with apologies to Leonard Bernstein)


Here come the Jets
Not the ones you know well
With a Boyband QB
blond hair spiked with a gel

Here come the Jets
Saleh's shaved head and face
He don't look half as a dumb
As Kotite, Rex and Gase

The Jets will kick ass
When it's least expected
There's always a chance
If Zach can be protected
The Pats get beef in-jected

Here come the Jets
The new Beasts of the East
They'll put Mac on his back
On turnovers they'll feast
Here come the Jets
They aren't punks wearing Green
Hail the new Kings in town
Of the Big Apple scene.......

(I'll quit there because the Gods of karma have been served and
this is making me sick)
 
OP
OP
gomezcat

gomezcat

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Love all of it.

I don't usually participate in these threads. But I will make a low brow, non-intelligectual exception just to say:


The Pats are fucked come Sunday at 1 pm.
Good to see that you've finally seen the truth about the world's* worst ever sports team.

*For the benefit of our cousins across the Pond, you may wish to search for the term "world". You will be shocked, though.
 

John Galt

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Good to see that you've finally seen the truth about the world's* worst ever sports team.

*For the benefit of our cousins across the Pond, you may wish to search for the term "world". You will be shocked, though.

World? World? World? What world? There's America then um...ah...er...fuck, I'm drawing a blank. :rofl:
 

BostonTim

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When You're a Jete
(with apologies to Leonard Bernstein)


Here come the Jets
Not the ones you know well
With a Boyband QB
blond hair spiked with a gel

Here come the Jets
Saleh's shaved head and face
He don't look half as a dumb
As Kotite, Rex and Gase

The Jets will kick ass
When it's least expected
There's always a chance
If Zach can be protected
The Pats get beef in-jected

Here come the Jets
The new Beasts of the East
They'll put Mac on his back
On turnovers they'll feast
Here come the Jets
They aren't punks wearing Green
Hail the new Kings in town
Of the Big Apple scene.......

(I'll quit there because the Gods of karma have been served and
this is making me sick)
Small correction in order?

I believe your apologies ought to be offered to Stephen Sondheim. His lyrics I think. Love them both.
 

Hawg73

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Small correction in order?

I believe your apologies ought to be offered to Stephen Sondheim. His lyrics I think. Love them both.


That's why we keep you around, Tim. You class the joint up.

👍
 
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