I turned my back to Kimball Farms ice cream today

fulltilt

Assclownism-it's the genes not a choice
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Another childhood tradition ruined by progress I guess. Went for ice cream today because as a productive member of the unemployed I can. As I say, I went for ice cream, not to play golf, mini or par three. Ice cream, not a company meeting. A friggin cone, not the g'damn water frickin polo ride. So I begin to negotiate the parking lot for a space and keep getting cut of by Range Rovers driven by mom's who don't look in the mirror below their flawless makeup all that much.. An aside-ladies, not that you can't afford one on your own-god knows you make waay more than me- but if your hubby wants to buy you a Range Rover immediately check a mirror and get to a gym. MILF's don't drive RR's. And by MILF I mean someone active, fit and uses the stairs on purpose.
Anyway while I'm cut off and blocked in the Rover spews out tweens who hit the chow line like easy company hitting those 88's on D-Day. Thus thwarted I begin parking recon of the bigger lot on the other side of Rt 110. Rt 110 is the only road in America where the average speed and Rt # match. I get ready to launch across 110 when I'm cut off by the Kimball Farm mascots. 2 huge dancing puffy cones, Kim and Bill. OK I made that up. Kimball's doesn't have mascots. Yet. The huge puffy things were patrons.
I evade high speed death and make the other side to park. Except row after freakin row is full. Of SUV's and Range Rovers. JHC! I finally get a space half in a muddy puddle cause why pave the lot? I heard Foxwood's hit Kimball's up for a loan last year. So I cross back over the Rt 110 death zone and it's simply jammed. I'm working the crowd like Robert Stack going through the terminal in "Airplane". I should have used a machete and saved my hands all the wear and tear. All the lines are full. ( Kimball's uses a refurbished barn-20 years ago refurbished- with 6 or 8 windows dishing out the frozen treats.) This is to be expected. I'm almost there so I can get in line for the required 20 minutes. Suddenly 30 or 40 kids in yellow camp t-shirts are everywhere blocking entrance to the line for frozen nirvana. A switch in my head went click. I took in the 7 buck banana splits, the 6 buck frappes and the eleventy billion people on a Wednesday afternoon. If I want some water polo par 3 golf after my meeting ice cream, I know where to go.
I turned to the guy in back of me and said "I don't want it enough anymore" and left. I went down the road, hit DD's for a coolatta and while it wasn't what I came for, I got it in 2 minutes and it came to less than 3 bucks.
 
Kimball's is absolutely ridiculous. I just moved to Groton last year at about this time, and have been probably 8-10 times now, but it's insane at this time of the year.

That place is a frickin' goldmine. And you're right, it's absolutely out of control at this point.
 
Very entertaining story :) I enjoyed every word. Had the same experience when I was craving fried clams and chowder last week.
 
There's now a really good branch of Kimballs on Rte 70 in Lancaster. Went a couple of weeks ago. Much easier to get to, better parking and better seating. They have the usual ice cream and they have a food area which was actually pretty good.

Nothing else. Very simple.
 
That was great FT - that piece had more references than Enclycopedia Brittanica!
 
FACT:

I saw Gary Wright sing "Dreamweaver" at Kimball Farms a few years back (company outing). He was wearing a white linen suit and bright pocket-tee (a la Don Johnson Miami Vice-style).

ANOTHER FACT:

When the day was over, the facilities guy gave me all the left-over booze. Easily 10 cases of various items from Bud Light to Sam Adams to Mike's Hard Lemonade.

That was a pretty good day at Kimball Farms.
 
You should move to Florida. MILFs in every Range Rover. It's sublime. :coffee:
 
My office is right down the road from Kimballs but I don't even bother these days. Besides, I have a great homemade ice cream shoppe about a quarter mile up the road from me....

I'd rather take the kids to Richardsons in Middleton any way. At least they can look at the cows or play mini golf and the lines aren't nearly as long.
 
I lived in North Andover for 8 years.

Richardsons is just okay.

Ice cream = Kimballs
Mini golf (this one isn't close) Kimballs
Parking: Richardsons, although rte 114 is a pain in the ass.
 
Going to Kimballs for the ice cream instead of the mini golf? :doh::shake:
 
Ice cream is serious business.
 
There's now a really good branch of Kimballs on Rte 70 in Lancaster. Went a couple of weeks ago. Much easier to get to, better parking and better seating. They have the usual ice cream and they have a food area which was actually pretty good.

Nothing else. Very simple.

Hmmm... I may have to check it out. Lancaster isn't too far from me, although it's a ways from you, isn't it?
 
Hmmm... I may have to check it out. Lancaster isn't too far from me, although it's a ways from you, isn't it?
No way it tops Ronnie's or Dresser Hill.:harumph:
 
Hmmm... I may have to check it out. Lancaster isn't too far from me, although it's a ways from you, isn't it?

You need to understand how much the wife loves ice cream. She goes through withdrawal if she doesn't eat it once a day. In college, she used to walk from Cambridge to Somerville in the middle of winter to get Steve's Ice Cream.

And since most of the family still lives in that general area, it's not too far out of the way when we go visit.
 
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