fulltilt
Assclownism-it's the genes not a choice
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2005
- Messages
- 6,300
- Reaction score
- 1,939
- Points
- 113
- Location
- Snorkeling thru motorcycle season
Another childhood tradition ruined by progress I guess. Went for ice cream today because as a productive member of the unemployed I can. As I say, I went for ice cream, not to play golf, mini or par three. Ice cream, not a company meeting. A friggin cone, not the g'damn water frickin polo ride. So I begin to negotiate the parking lot for a space and keep getting cut of by Range Rovers driven by mom's who don't look in the mirror below their flawless makeup all that much.. An aside-ladies, not that you can't afford one on your own-god knows you make waay more than me- but if your hubby wants to buy you a Range Rover immediately check a mirror and get to a gym. MILF's don't drive RR's. And by MILF I mean someone active, fit and uses the stairs on purpose.
Anyway while I'm cut off and blocked in the Rover spews out tweens who hit the chow line like easy company hitting those 88's on D-Day. Thus thwarted I begin parking recon of the bigger lot on the other side of Rt 110. Rt 110 is the only road in America where the average speed and Rt # match. I get ready to launch across 110 when I'm cut off by the Kimball Farm mascots. 2 huge dancing puffy cones, Kim and Bill. OK I made that up. Kimball's doesn't have mascots. Yet. The huge puffy things were patrons.
I evade high speed death and make the other side to park. Except row after freakin row is full. Of SUV's and Range Rovers. JHC! I finally get a space half in a muddy puddle cause why pave the lot? I heard Foxwood's hit Kimball's up for a loan last year. So I cross back over the Rt 110 death zone and it's simply jammed. I'm working the crowd like Robert Stack going through the terminal in "Airplane". I should have used a machete and saved my hands all the wear and tear. All the lines are full. ( Kimball's uses a refurbished barn-20 years ago refurbished- with 6 or 8 windows dishing out the frozen treats.) This is to be expected. I'm almost there so I can get in line for the required 20 minutes. Suddenly 30 or 40 kids in yellow camp t-shirts are everywhere blocking entrance to the line for frozen nirvana. A switch in my head went click. I took in the 7 buck banana splits, the 6 buck frappes and the eleventy billion people on a Wednesday afternoon. If I want some water polo par 3 golf after my meeting ice cream, I know where to go.
I turned to the guy in back of me and said "I don't want it enough anymore" and left. I went down the road, hit DD's for a coolatta and while it wasn't what I came for, I got it in 2 minutes and it came to less than 3 bucks.
Anyway while I'm cut off and blocked in the Rover spews out tweens who hit the chow line like easy company hitting those 88's on D-Day. Thus thwarted I begin parking recon of the bigger lot on the other side of Rt 110. Rt 110 is the only road in America where the average speed and Rt # match. I get ready to launch across 110 when I'm cut off by the Kimball Farm mascots. 2 huge dancing puffy cones, Kim and Bill. OK I made that up. Kimball's doesn't have mascots. Yet. The huge puffy things were patrons.
I evade high speed death and make the other side to park. Except row after freakin row is full. Of SUV's and Range Rovers. JHC! I finally get a space half in a muddy puddle cause why pave the lot? I heard Foxwood's hit Kimball's up for a loan last year. So I cross back over the Rt 110 death zone and it's simply jammed. I'm working the crowd like Robert Stack going through the terminal in "Airplane". I should have used a machete and saved my hands all the wear and tear. All the lines are full. ( Kimball's uses a refurbished barn-20 years ago refurbished- with 6 or 8 windows dishing out the frozen treats.) This is to be expected. I'm almost there so I can get in line for the required 20 minutes. Suddenly 30 or 40 kids in yellow camp t-shirts are everywhere blocking entrance to the line for frozen nirvana. A switch in my head went click. I took in the 7 buck banana splits, the 6 buck frappes and the eleventy billion people on a Wednesday afternoon. If I want some water polo par 3 golf after my meeting ice cream, I know where to go.
I turned to the guy in back of me and said "I don't want it enough anymore" and left. I went down the road, hit DD's for a coolatta and while it wasn't what I came for, I got it in 2 minutes and it came to less than 3 bucks.