Posted on August 21, 2015 by Joe Gill
Dear Legions Of New England Patriots Haters,
You know who you are.
You work in Bristol, CT or on Park Avenue.
You live in Indianapolis, Baltimore, NY, Pittsburgh or one of the other 27 NFL cities.
You think the Patriots are cheaters, schemers and rival the Nazis for the vilest tyranny that the earth has ever seen.
Bill Belichick is the devil bugging locker rooms and Tom Brady is the boogie man hiding in the officials’ room with a needle.
That’s your skewed perception, so let’s chat about reality shall we?
You are jealous of the model franchise of the NFL and perhaps of all sports.
You hate Robert Kraft because he has a built a 4X Super Bowl champion out of the former laughing stock of the league….yes the Patriots were pathetic and were within a whisker of becoming the St. Louis Stallions (we WERE you, but we got sick of sucking and did something about it).
You despise Bill Belichick because he can out-coach the other 31 JV teams in his f’n sleep. Don’t hate him because he knows the NFL rule book better than his own children (You stop whining yet, John Harbaugh?).
You find yourselves crying in the shower and throwing toddler temper tantrums because the Greatest Quarterback of All – F’N – Time, Tom Brady, carved up your defense AGAIN like a Thanksgiving Turducken.
And he is living the ultimate American dream (GOAT, married to a super model & has the perfect life) something you can only rub one out to.
It’s not TB12’s fault, your existence absolutely sucks.
So instead of bitching, moaning, whining, and pointing fingers New England Patriots Hating America, why not look at your own teams?
Glass houses anyone?
Cowboys and Broncos fans, your teams cheated. Sorry to break it to you, mickey mousing with the salary cap is worse than deflating footballs.
Jets fans, why not get angry that your team hasn’t had a half decent signal caller since Ken O’Brien in 1991? What about Geno Smith….oh wait…
Colts supporters, why not get upset that your franchise is completely content with coming in fourth and raising a banner to celebrate it?
So instead of jerking it at home and crying yourself to sleep because you will never get the pretty girl, why not go out there, throw her over and make her yours….
That is exactly what the New England Patriots have done to the NFL this millennium, they don’t bitch or complain, they do their f’n jobs!
They take the hottest girl in the bar home and make that sweet, sweet Lombardi love then kick her out at the break of dawn….
Signed,
Patriots fans who don’t give a flying f*ck about the haters, deflaters & spygaters (ode to Fitzy), we will just enjoy getting drunk on the tears of our enemies!