Mark Henderson is not walking through that door

[fulltilt]

The Patriots come into this game feeling all warm and fuzzy about beating a team of Brownies last week 50-10. The Fins laid a 52-0 beating on us on the way to their perfect season and Super Bowl Championship in '72. I can't think of another team that even came close to matching that mark of perfection. Belichick just matched Shula for number of 10 win seasons and this offense has caused an alignment of the football gods ready to smite New England this week. Shula has put fresh juice into his electric mobility scooter and doubled up on his clastemy bags preparing for local Miami TV news interviews to opine about the level of cheating going on up here. Mercury Morris may set a personal record for the sheer size of the rocks he'll be smoking this weekend. The Pats will face one bewildering wildcat formation after another. The home team behind by 5 with the ball on the 3 yd line and 3 seconds left the game are surprised by Miami's defense, helicopters carrying John Deere model 314's with brush attachments and dropped onto the Patriots formation from 2000 feet in a crushing display of carpet bombing as Les Nessman screams into his mike "The players sound like bags of wet cement when they're hit by the tractors"

We have no chance. None

Cheatriots 10
Mighty Dolphins 46

We are DOOOMED!
Doomed I tell you!!

 

[ParanoidPatriot]

The Fins will run the Wildcat down our throats the entire 1st half.
Then when we adjust to that they will run the triple lateral for the entire 3rd quarter.
Then when we adjust to that they will run the triple lateral Wildcat in the 4th. With 4 minutes left in the game Patriots won't be able to find a player or coach who is able stand on even one leg.
We are doomed.

 

[Patriots44]

Great idea for the karma thread title.... had to open it just to check if it was what I thought it was.
(I'll be back later when I think of something to post)

 

[TommyD420]

If they need a snowplow in Miami, we've got bigger problems than a football game.

Miami 17
Patriots 16

 

[Patriots44]

The Dolphins take a page out of BB's book from the Bills "wind game" and run 43 straight times.... the Statue of Liberty play that is! Pats just can't believe it after the first 8 - 10 times and assume it's a trick, so they stand there transfixed while the Dolphins score on every play thereafter.
Down 231 - 0 in the 4th qtr, Mac throws his 17th pick of the day, Prompting Brian Flores to waves his private parts at BB's Aunties, while Tua farts in Mac's general direction!

it's so bad the network switches to a more competitive contest.... a 1973 episode of Hollywood Squares (that Paul Lynde is such a wiseacre!)

The NFL penalizes the Pats by making them play their playoff game wearing those dog pajama's Mac and his girl wore on Christmas.

Might as well start the draft thread early

 

[TipRoast]

This game is destined to make Patriots fans irrational, but the score will be transcendent:

Dolphins: π
Patriots: e

 

[Big/Sky/Fly]

The Pats beat the Jags...I thought?

 

[Roberto71]

Dolphins take offense at Bill matching Shulas record and issue a whoppin'

Dolphins by three sore bottoms to one.

 

[bmooney54]

Tua reminds Mac he is nothing but a backup QB. The Dolphins have beaten the Texans, Ravens, Panthers and Jets at home. All those teams are eliminated from the playoffs. Notice a trend? I do. Mac Jones has never beaten the Dolphins in his entire career. Not once! It ain't gonna happen on Sunday, either. We're fvcked.

 

[Patriots44]

Bump
(I guess we aren't worried about Karma this week in Miami, since we always win easily and nothing odd ever to the Pats there )