My Apologies for all the Colts Trolls...

[IU_Knightmare]

...Like Hugh_G_Rection.

You'uns gots ta unnerstand, we are all simple folk. We mostly spend our time tryin to get our tractors started, sniffing cow farts, and eyeballing our first cousins. We ain't very civilized, culchered or edjukated. And we shorely don't understand the complecks natchure uv the game o' football.

Shucks, if'n it weren't for that Irsay fella stealin away in the dark o' the nite, we'uns wouldn't never got a sniff of a pro team. Thats why I look for boards like this. All you good fellas and debutantes help us slack jawed Colt fans to unnerstan it.

I shore hope that you guys take it easy on us'ns and our purty ole Colts. I know that you'uns are the greatest football team this side of forever, and we shorely dont have no chance uv beatin you folks in that cold. We ain't got a pot ta piss in or a winder to throw it out uv. I just apprechiate all ya'lls grachus hospitality. I gotta go milk some cows and get some gas in meh generater so we dont freeze tanite!

See ya'll later and YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAW!

 

[pookie]

All the Colt trolls? Where?

Aint seen but 'nary a one of 'em.

 

[Hawg73]

Pookie - ah thought ah tole you t'check behin' th' tractor baw, ain't you got a lick o' sense?

We might need the dialectizer for translation purposes before this week is out.

And IUK, if there is any help you need with big words or gazintas or anything, just don't hesitate to ask. We got a bunch of high school gradiates here.

Some even higher, I reckon.

 

[IU_Knightmare]

All the Colt trolls? Where?

Aint seen but 'nary a one of 'em.

Its cuz us'ns don't have much Intarweb axses. We all share one o' these here boxes o' light. I had to swap my cousin with Jethro for the extry time on the box tanite. I shore hope he cleans her up a'fore he sends her back. I had the itchies for dern near a month and had to shave mahself plumb nekkid last time he had er.

 

[pookie]

And IUK, if there is any help you need with big words or gazintas or anything, just don't hesitate to ask. We got a bunch of high school gradiates here.

Hawg... Now I know for sure that you are in Telecom! You know what gazintas are!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Hawg73]

Hawg... Now I know for sure that you are in Telecom! You know what gazintas are!!!!!!!!!!

Sure Pook, why I've spent most of my life working in the damn telcom industry because I couldn't decide if I wanted to be a double-knot spy or a fry cook.

 

[IU_Knightmare]

Hawg... Now I know for sure that you are in Telecom! You know what gazintas are!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh darnit pookie, everbody who been to the 8th grade knows there gazintas.

1 gazinta 1 one time
1 gazinta 2 two times
1 gazinta 3 three times

I gazinta mah sister Mary JoBob one too many times and now we has a kid callin me uncle Daddy.

 

[pookie]

Gosh darnit pookie, everbody who been to the 8th grade knows there gazintas.

1 gazinta 1 one time
1 gazinta 2 two times
1 gazinta 3 three times

I gazinta mah sister Mary JoBob one too many times and now we has a kid callin me uncle Daddy.

Shucks Cletus... I thinks ya gots them gazintas kinfusd.

Gazintas only work with cumzatas. Ya can't have gazintas unless you have cumzatas. Ya see a wire gazinta here and the other wire cumzata here.

 

[IU_Knightmare]

Re: Re: My Apologies for all the Colts Trolls...

Shut the f*ck up IU.

I'm an Iowa girl. Born and raised.

Your dumb-azz midwestern hayseed schtick don't mean nuthin' to me. Get out a little and get over your inferiority complex.

Oh, and have fun rooting for the LA Colts next year.

I iz shore sorry if'n I hurt yore feelins Ma'am. I dont rightly know where Iowa iz, but Jethro told me ta just start walkin north til I smellz it, and then to the east tilz i steps in it but when I tried that I didn't makes it out my frunt yard.

As far az them schticks goes, my huntin dog Buford she shore likes to run after em, but she sometimes dont come back fer awhile. I started to get a might bit worried when her last littler o' pups bore a strikin resemblance to my neighbor Billy Bob. And as for that inferiorty complex, I don't live in no appartments, i gots me a double wide.

Is that LA Colts fench or sumptin for the Colts? I bet it is. Nothin but high class frum you folk, I'm here ta tell ya!

Haster LA Vister, MO Frer!

 

[pookie]

Re: Re: Re: My Apologies for all the Colts Trolls...

I iz shore sorry if'n I hurt yore feelins Ma'am. I dont rightly know where Iowa iz, but Jethro told me ta just start walkin north til I smellz it, and then to the east tilz i steps in it but when I tried that I didn't makes it out my frunt yard.

As far az them schticks goes, my huntin dog Buford she shore likes to run after em, but she sometimes dont come back fer awhile. I started to get a might bit worried when her last littler o' pups bore a strikin resemblance to my neighbor Billy Bob. And as for that inferiorty complex, I don't live in no appartments, i gots me a double wide.

Is that LA Colts fench or sumptin for the Colts? I bet it is. Nothin but high class frum you folk, I'm here ta tell ya!

Haster LA Vister, MO Frer!

Buddy... Your redneck schtick is really lame. Please come up with a better trolling approach. I'm sure you can do better.

 

[IU_Knightmare]

Re: Re: Re: Re: My Apologies for all the Colts Trolls...

Uh-huh.

Can't take a little heat, huh, IU. Not so interested in sticking around anymore?

I wish you'd stay. It's playtime as far as I'm concerned.

I'm just getting warmed up. And I can't wait.

This'll be more fun than the politics thread.

Wellz, I culd stay if'n you wunt me too. I just figoored you din't like me...But I think mah ingurents may be a mite bit o'peelin to an Iowa girl. I am beginnin to think you mite be takin a shinin to me. But ifn't we ain't kin, I am not interested. You jst keep them parts on the udder side of this skwak box. Last time I tried to have that "Cybur seks" on the intarweb, I plumb near shocked the life out o' mah whistlehammer...

 

[BionicPatriot]

What an idiot. This guy thinks he is a good troll. Instead of causing chaos, he makes himself look like an ass.

 

[Guest]

Damn, that guy comes with his own Dialectizer. I wonder if we convert this into Southern one more time, do we get regular English out?

Convert to English

 

[pookie]

Damn, that guy comes with his own Dialectizer. I wonder if we convert this into Southern one more time, do we get regular English out?

Convert to English

Hehehe... Kinda like my wife's Portugese family and their resemblance to a cue ball... The harder I hit them, the more English I get out of them.

 

[Guest]

Oh goody, goody!!

NR...can you do this?

The results are...interesting. I don't find it makes it any tougher to understand, but not any easier either, Fra My Hide!

Mah Apologies fo' all th' Colts Trolls...

...Like Hugh_G_Reckshun.

Yo'uns gots ta unnerstan', we is all simple folk. Shet mah mouth! We mostly spend our time tryin t'git our tracko's started, sniffin' houn'dog farts, an' eyeballin' our fust cousins. We ain't mighty civilized, culchard o' edjukated, cuss it all t' tarnation. An' we sho'ely doesn't unnerstan' th' complecks natchure uv th' game o' football, ah reckon.

Shucks, eff'n'n it wasn't fo' thet Irsay fella stealin away in th' dark o' th' nite, we'uns'dn't nevah got a sniff of a pro team, dawgone it. Thets whuffo' ah look fo' boards like this. All yo' fine fellas an' debutantes he'p us slack jawed Colt fans t'unnerstan it.

ah sho'e hope thet yo' guys take it easy on us'ns an' our purty ole Colts. ah knows thet yo'uns is th' greatess football team this hyar side of fo'evah, an' we sho'ely dont haf no chance uv beatin yo' folks in thet cold, cuss it all t' tarnation. We ain't got a pot ta piss in o' a winner t'throw it out uv. ah jest appreechiate all ya'lls grachus horspitality. ah gotta hoof it milk some cows an' git some gas in meh junerater so we dont freeze tanite!

See ya'll later an' YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAW! Fry mah hide!

 

[IU_Knightmare]

The results are...interesting. I don't find it makes it any tougher to understand, but not any easier either, Fra My Hide!

Gud lord a'mitey! You'uns just found the Hoosier Roseta Stones!

 

[IU_Knightmare]

What an idiot. This guy thinks he is a good troll. Instead of causing chaos, he makes himself look like an ass.

You dun went and peeked din't ya? I jest wunt to talk ta REEL LIVE FOOTBALL GOOROOOS such as PurtyAlice! You dont hafta be hatefull at me fer it. On the other hand, me and jethro did dress up like a donkey fer hallerween at the big barn dance. I got stuck in the back half unforchunatelee. The Bodine bruthers got a lil amerus so to speaks cuz them fellers figered I wuz there prize mule. I ain't felt nuthin like that since the time I rode mah bisickel without mah seat...

 

[Guest]

Gud lord a'mitey! You'uns just found the Hoosier Roseta Stones!

Well I reckon I did. It turns ya'll's jibberish into a form that makes some sense.

Frontier Jibberish.

 

[Guest]

Oh finey, finey! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!

NR...can yo' does this?

Or mebbe jest cornvaht his redneck t'redneck an' see whut th' hell we'd git?

__________________
"Thar had been abuse in mah fambly. But it was mostly moosical in nature."

ROFL ROFL ROFL finey, finey....lmao.

 

[IU_Knightmare]

See, now that wasn't half-bad.

Don't tell me. You've got to be some pimply faced, lonely archeology major living in Bloomington.

Nah, just a guy in my late 30's, self employed, 3 kids and a Colts fan. I tried to be nice in my hello post, but that dumbass troll Colt Hugh_G_Rection hijacked the sumvabitch and turned it into a schlong war.

So I thought I would make a new post in my native dialect and a self deprecating manner to have a bit o' fun. I wasn't going to let him have fun at the expense of mine.

So, as you were warriors, and good luck this Sunday. Should be a great game and I cannot wait.