It had to be when she about 9 or 10. I took our youngest (Lilly) to the orthodontist for the first time. She was really intrigued by the entire experience and told me she might be a dentist some day. Then she witnessed me writing a check for the cost of the braces and a couple years of treatment. On the way out she quizzed me about the cost and was literally speechless on the car ride home. When we arrived she went running into the house and into the kitchen where my wife was and told her that she had decided that she was going to be an orthodontist. Crazy for a young kid of that age to even be thinking about careers.
All the way through middle school, high school and 4 years at MSU she never wavered. She worked her ass off and graduated MCL from the Lyman Briggs School at MSU determined to go to dental school having never wavered from her almost lifelong dream.
That is she never wavered until about a week ago. You see, she ran into an obstacle that is the leading reason that students DO NOT become dentists (or orthodontists): The dreaded DAT. Just like law schools have the LSAT's and medical schools have the MCAT's, dental schools have the DAT's. The Dental Aptitude Test. There is no doubt she is a very smart person. She aced her way through school her entire life always willing to work hard to get that 4.0. And she did. It drove her brothers batty that she always aced her classes. They were young boys filled with distractions (sports and girls are quite enough at that age) so they never really appreciated how hard she worked. I did.
So, halfway through her senior year she began a 6 month process of study for the DAT. Yes, 6 months of studying while carrying a full load of classes. She made it hard on herself because she could have graduated a semester early. She had the grades and the credits but a little thing called Covid stole a year of her time at MSU and she was determined to get as much of her Spartan experience as she could. So she stayed in her house with her house mates the entire senior year and took a full load. And she studied for the DAT. Lynn and I didn't mind one bit. The day of the DAT exam (grueling 6 hours) came and we waited to hear from her afterwards. The DAT reports your scores immediately after the test concludes. She didn't call. I waited another hour and called her. Shew answered crying so hard she could not speak. I just said, stay where you are I am coming to you and I got in my car and headed to MSU (105 miles). Just passing through Flint I got a text message that said "17. Don't come". Lynn called me soon after and told me to turn around. She had been on the phone with Lil and didn't think it was a great idea for me to go up there. OK. 17 is about the average “academic average” for the DAT. But a 17 is NOT good enough to actually get into dental schools. Well it is if you are willing to go to school in the Caribbean. Or Canada. Or Ireland. But not here in the US and definitely not at U of M or U of D (University of Detroit) or Kentucky or Creighton or BU. These are her preferred choices. As it turned out, 17 wasn't good enough to get a spot anywhere in the US. Not for her, her DAT scores and her "demographics". 2 school visits/interviews ensued but she came home from each an angry young woman. It had become clear to her that there were others in her groups that had lower scores and decidedly lower GPA's but they were getting spots based on other factors. The standard dental school application that all the schools use/share actually asks about how privileged she was growing up. Few things have made me more angry.
So what did she do? She spent ANOTHER 6 months studying for the DAT and working full time for the very same orthodontist that did her braces and inspired her so long ago. She busted her ass and studied. Her friends from school that had not performed as well as she did started their lives and careers all over the country, 2 got married, while Lil lived at home in her old room and studied. She took the DAT again and Lynn and I waited for her to call. 18. Ugh. Slightly better than average but she knew (we all knew, by then) that 18 was not going to get her in. Not with a Magna Cum Loude 3.96 from MSU and almost 1500 volunteer hours dragged down by her ethnicity and upper middle class upbringing. Even in the throes of chemo I was so incensed I could think of nothing else for days.
You can take the DAT 3 times. Publicly available data on the DAT show that the average DAT scores DECREASES with the 2nd and 3rd attempts. I started talking about hiring a DAT tutor and other things we might do to help her. She was adamant that there would be no tutor. In fact, she was pretty sure she would not invest another 6 months studying (the study guide she used has an intense program of study that takes 6 months). She lived here at home, worked at the ortho office and stewed for a couple of months.
3 months ago she came to me and asked if I would pay for a study program and the test one more time. Combined they are a little over a grand. There is no money tree in our back yard but there could be no hesitation from me either and there wasn't. She started the compressed study program and living with this young lady became quite difficult. Moody and angry all the time we walked on egg shells a lot. She studied and hated the world and we tried to figure out how to handle it and what to do if the last chance did not pan out.
About a week ago Lil mentioned that she also was thinking about a life that didn't include being an orthodontist and asked me if I could help her get started in pharmaceutical sales (I've been in high level sales my entire adult life). I told that I would get her the meetings she would need to get started.
Yesterday, she left the house around 6:30 am to drive to the DAT testing facility in Troy MI. Lynn and I waited. And waited. We had a HS grad party to attend beginning at 3pm but decided to wait until Lilly got home or called in case the score didn't pan out. Around 3:30 I texted her simply asking if she was OK. Shortly thereafter she called crying again and asked me to get mom. Lynn was already next to me and between sobs Lilly gave us the score: 22!!! Holy Shit! That's it. It is done! 22 is 89th percentile and to top 6% of all scores! She should have her pick of schools. There is a website called
Calculate My Chances that predicts she will have a 90% or better chance to get into 20+ dental schools all over the country. Michigan is 89%. U of D is 84%. Boston University is 93%. RELIEF!
Sometimes in life there are outcomes that are so important that you can't celebrate because the only thing you can feel is pain or relief. That was yesterday. We went to that grad party and quietly told our closer friends (not the place to distract from the graduate) and took Lilly out to dinner to celebrate.
I am still feeling relief but also joy this morning. We are so proud of this young woman and her determination and grit.
PS - sorry for the long post....I don't type well but that just sort of poured out of me...
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