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HSanders

omitted out of respect to Mrs.Jastremski
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I am not on twitter, is that actually the potus???
Well done, potus! 😄
 

foobahl

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With Moon Water Announcement, Trump Proposes Space Navy
October 27th, 2020
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WASHINGTON D.C.—NASA recently announced its discovery of definitive evidence that there is water on the moon. President Donald Trump wasted no time, following up with an announcement of his own. “Water in space means only one thing,” he told the press. “We need to create a Space Navy.”

According to Trump, the Space Force would patrol the space skies -- “all that black stuff between planets” as he described it -- but any space water would be the domain of the Space Navy.
“We’ll get big, beautiful space battleships to put on the oceans of the moon,” Trump said. “And they’ll have big space cannons ready for any space water threats out there, like space sharks. Or maybe space pirates -- but not the regular space pirates that fly around in spaceships but space water pirates.”
Trump has already tasked people to design a logo, uniforms, and a space aircraft carrier -- though it would in fact be a space spacecraft carrier since there is no air in space. He also noted this is an innovation you would never get from “Sleepy Joe,” since Biden most likely goes to bed before it’s dark and has never even seen space.
 

oldbagfan

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One picture is worth 1,000 words.
 

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Dwight Schrute

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Pretty comical!



Ann Coulter: ‘Ask Not What Your Country Is’ — the Biden Inaugural Address​

Ann Coulter28 Oct 2020
coulter-headshot-640x480-640x480

6:04

I’m not at liberty to reveal my sources, but I have obtained a draft of President Joe Biden’s inaugural address. (Trump, unfortunately, won’t be there to hear it. He will be holding a competing rally at RFK Stadium, also starting at 12 noon on Jan. 20.)

** ** **

* EXCLUSIVE CONTENT! MUST CREDIT COULTER! *

Ladies and gentlemen, members of the fairer sex, the unfair sex, the transgenders, queers, what have you.

Women and gentlemen!

I’ve known women — my wife, my sister — no, that’s my wife! I mean my wife over here. The fat one.

I mean: The fact is, they switched on me!

Anyway, standing here today on the steps of the capitol of Wilmington — I should say, standing here today on the steps of the Capitol in the state of Washington, as we do every year, we have this peaceful transfer of power — I should say, every four years.

Which is a Big F—ing Deal! I used to say that to Barack all the time.



I see him out there! He’s the articulate, bright and clean one.

As I was coming over here on this brisk June day, I started thinking, why is it that Joe Biden is the first in his family ever to go to a university? My ancestors, Welsh coal miners, would come up after 12 hours underground and play cricket for hours. Were they not smart? Were they not strong, mate?

And so, as I look out at this wonderful crowd — what’s that from the fella in the back? You say I’m not Welsh and my father was a Chevrolet dealer in Wilmington?

Listen, you lying dog-faced pony soldier — I have a much higher I.Q. than you do! I went to law school on a full academic scholarship and ended up in the top half of my class. I got three degrees in college and was voted the “outstanding student” in the political science department.

What I mean to say is that it was a financial scholarship, I wasn’t voted the “outstanding student,” and I was only in the top half of the bottom 10 students.

No, I haven’t taken an I.Q. test. Why the hell would I take a test? Come on, man. That is like saying you — did you take a test whether you’re taking cocaine or not? What do you think? Are you a junkie?

Look, folks, kids today have advantages I didn’t have. Their parents play the radio, make sure they have the record player on at night. My parents couldn’t play the record player. They were in the mines.

And I remember my pop, a Chevrolet dealer in Wilmington, telling me in 1962, as I was going off to work at an African American swimming pool — we called them “African Americans” back then — and we saw two guys kissing each other. He said to me: “Joey, they love each other.”

I shouldn’t say it. I’m going to say something I probably shouldn’t say

Anyway, today, I stand before you to announce my candidacy for president of the United States!

Wait — I won! That’s a Big F—ing Deal, as I used to say to Barack.



Oh look! Here’s the guy from Burisma! Good to see you, man! Look, the Biden administration will be monitoring Kiev prosecutors like you’ve never seen before. Clean government in Ukraine will be the No. 1 priority of my administration.When I’m president, this country won’t be cozying up to the totalitarian regimes of Poland and Hungary. It’s gonna stop with us.

I shouldn’t say it. I’m going to say something I probably shouldn’t say …

Anyway, on this crisp September day, I vow to you we’ll not only have a Green New Deal, but a Purple New Deal, a Yellow New Deal, a LBGTQXYZ New Deal — a whole rainbow of New Deals!

You have my word as a Biden, folks.

Anyway, as I stand here in the rotunda — I mean the steps of the Capitol — just as the great Democratic president Franklin Delano … uh, I should say, as FDR did — well, he wasn’t standing because he couldn’t stand.

And to all of you in wheelchairs, you don’t need to stand either! Oh, God love you! What am I talking about? I’ll tell you what, we’re making everybody else stand up, though. Let’s give the wheelchair-bound a big round of applause!

Look folks, as FDR said, we hold these truths to be self-evident … You bet and corn pop. Pop goes the weasel! And I’m your pop, as I always say to Hunter. I’m your pop, but I’m not a weasel, pal.

As we celebrate this peaceful transition — oh, I see Adam Schiff out in the crowd! As I always say, he reminds me of my son, Hunter.

Whoa — I almost forgot, let’s give a big hand to my vice president … Anita Hill!

What am I talking about? Anita ain’t black!

Everybody give a big hand to my vice president … Cardi B!

Oh sorry, buddy — my vice president, Al Sharpton!

But I promise you, Cardi and Anita and Al and Stacey and Jesse will all have positions in my Cabinet.

That’s cabinet, not cabin, folks. Harriet Beecher Stowe wrote “Uncle Tom’s Cabin,” and, as she always said: “We hold these truths to be self-evident.” I know this because I got three degrees in college and was voted the “outstanding student” in the political science department.



I should say, I wasn’t actually voted the “outstanding student,” but it was an honor just to be nominated.

Anyway, I never served with John F. Kennedy — but he was no Dan Quayle! He said, “Ask your country to do things for you. Ask or not! The choice is yours.”

I’m pro-choice, although I’m personally opposed. But the important thing is, it’s your choice!

And so as I stand here today, asking for your vote — hold on! — you gave me your vote! That’s why I’m here, man!

This is a Big F—ing Deal, as I used to always say to Barack. Good night and God bless. Wear a mask!
 

Inspector_50

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Without Ruth, they're ruthless.
I have a friend who is gay, he was able to get married 2 years ago, they have adopted a cute little girl and they are a precious family. He is worried that those things will be in jeopardy now. I would hate to see things get revoked and rights taken away because of a belief structure that not even believes in. I am not saying it will, but it could.
 

foobahl

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would, could, may it's possible can be said about damn near anything. Isn't this the humor thread? Too soon? If you really think lgtbq or abortion rights are in trouble, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe the Trump administration just wants to put in some "common sense" regulation. Feel better now.
 
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