Once again I've been attempting to let my mind formulate the proper words to describe and say something and again they aren't complete. So again I'll just let it fly in hopes some of you read and remember the context of who my brother is and who is and hasn't been to me and my lack of interest in the concept of family just because we share blood.
A few weeks ago my brother Joey and his new wife Regina, both Christian in the most consistent and devout sense, both to tragic consequences and beauty equally showed up unexpectedly at my atheist asses new beautiful place after a drive from VT to New Hampshire. Not knowing, somehow if I would even let them in. Seriously, the lack of understanding of each other which stems from our 13 year age difference, him growing up with his mom, my intellectual closeness with our dad who Joey had issues with in a sad way and extremely different views of humanity, life and the world, his, typically Christian and extremely negative, mine which sees light, goodness and potential for greatness, we have always just been worlds apart.
When they arrived I of course open the door and welcomed them. It was very nice to meet Regina, a very nice woman, the likes of which my brother may not deserve but needs.
We sat on my porch as night fell over the lake and talked for hours, theological disagreements and all.
Before they left Joe asked if he could bring something in.
Having no idea if or what I needed in my new place he brought in 5 boxes of food, Nike sneakers, yes his vanity always has him buy name brand expensive stuff.
♥ ♥ ♥
Before they left they asked if it was OK to pray. Of course I said yes. We hugged each other in a circle and Regina spoke the 10 minute prayer as my brother added his amens. Regina in several ways thanked god for my brilliance and purpose that they will likely never understand but know they should be thankful for. I was in tears at that part and as I explained afterward that whether they understand it or not I'm fighting for all of us, all of humanity them include. I said amen and they left after deep and caring hugs. Something my brother and I have never shared.
Something changed that night. And that change came from dropping our bullshit and biases and learning and feeling the depths of each other and accepting there is beauty to be found in all of us if we just look and see clearly.
After they left as I was unpacking the boxes and pointing food away I discovered a very nice laptop, in fact one with the processor, memory, operating system I had been looking for, I don't know how they knew it and they said they didn't know that my laptop, my primary device for my work had been stolen at the last place I lived at. They just thought, given my work I may need it and if not I could pass it along to someone who did.
Call it whatever you want but I was in tears at such an incredible kindness especially from my brother who always had had a ridiculous, to me, inferiority about me and my mind. The reason I say ridiculous is that I admire to the highest degree his painting abilities, abilities to run crews to incredible production and an endless drive to work physically no matter the pain or obstacles.
We are all different Joey, we all have different abilities which if cultivated and work hard on become huge assets in our lives and no ability we strive to perfect is worse or lower in value than another.
Since I moved here and for the first time ever he calls me every other day just to shoot the shit. We laugh as we reminisce about old employees we grew up with in our dad's painting company, what incredible characters and stories. We laugh about the calamities at work that seem to be a part of being a part of dads genes.
And much more.
At this time when I've in no uncertain terms have told my late moms family to fuck off Joey is becoming the brother I've never had and it feels wonderful and in a way I never even knew I missed.
Today is his 63rd birthday.
Happy Birthday Joe. I love you my brother. ♥
And thank you Regina. ♥
Now stop growing old and don't die, this is pretty awesome,
♥
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