Scenes From a Restaurant

[Beaglebay]

Guest: "What food do you recommend, I've never been here."

Me: "Thanks for choosing us, we appreciate it. What foods do you like?"

Guest: "I like fish."

Me: "Then order the fish."

This guy was one of a group of golfers. All his buddies goofed on him, and I received a huge tip for busting his 'nads.

 

[Beaglebay]

Guest on phone: "Hi, I'd like to order take out."

Me: OK, What would you like?"

Guest: "A club sandwich."

Me: "Would you like turkey, roast beef, or cheeseburger?"

Guest: "Turkey."

Me: "Would you like that on white, wheat, rye, or pumpernickel?"

Guest: "Do you have wheat?"

Me: {long pause} "Yes, we have white, wheat, rye, and pumpernickel."

Guest: "I'll have the rye."

 

[Beaglebay]

Guest on phone: "How do I order take out?"

Me: "You tell me what you'd like, and we prepare it and package it up for you, then you come pick it up and pay for it, take it home and eat it."

 

[Beaglebay]

Just-turned-21YO Guest: "Do you have a drink list?"

Me: "I can make whatever you want, except frozen drinks, as we have no blender."

JT21 Guest: "What's in a frozen drink?"

Me: {silence and hard stare}

 

[Beaglebay]

Golf Guy Guest: "I'll have a Rose Kennedy."

Me: "I don't know what that is; what's in it?"

GGG: "Vodka, soda water and a splash of cranberry. What do you call that here?"

Me: "A vodka, soda water, with a splash of cranberry."

 

[Beaglebay]

Guest Leaving After Picking Up Takeout: "Thanks a lot!"

Me: "Thank you, enjoy your dinner!"

GLAPUTO: "You too!"

Me: :ambivalence:

 

[Beaglebay]

Me: "Hi! Can I get you something to drink?"

Guest: "No, I'll just have water."

 

[foobahl]

Guest Leaving After Picking Up Takeout: "Thanks a lot!"

Me: "Thank you, enjoy your dinner!"

GLAPUTO: "You too!"

Me: :ambivalence:

I have done tht as a guest before. Then I re-opened the door for a facepalm.

 

[HSanders]

not restaurant, but customers in general. i took a job as a receptionist so i could get my foot in the door at my prior company. people would call and when i answered, they would ask ,"are you open?"

 

[Beaglebay]

not restaurant, but customers in general. i took a job as a receptionist so i could get my foot in the door at my prior company. people would call and when i answered, they would ask ,"are you open?"

Happens every day.

 

[HSanders]

if i would have thought more quickly, i should have said,"yes, now throw me the ball!"

 

[Beaglebay]

Guest on phone: "What are today's specials?" (We post these daily on our webpage as well on our Facebook page, along with our regular menu).

Me: {Recites list of 8-10 specials}

Guest: "You don't have (whatever) today?"

Me: "Yes, we do, that item is on our regular menu."

Guest: "Well, you didn't say that."

Me: "Would you like to order it?"

Guest: "I'll call back after I decide what I want."

Me: "That's usually how it's done. Thank you."

 

[BostonTim]

Guest on phone: "What are today's specials?" (We post these daily on our webpage as well on our Facebook page, along with our regular menu).

Me: {Recites list of 8-10 specials}

Guest: "You don't have (whatever) today?"

Me: "Yes, we do, that item is on our regular menu."

Guest: "Well, you didn't say that."

Me: "Would you like to order it?"

Guest: "I'll call back after I decide what I want."

Me: "That's usually how it's done. Thank you."

When facing that level of lunacy, I bet it feels good to be a well functioning wise-ass. Good stuff!

Cheers

 

[HSanders]

stuff like this is actually why i shouln't deal with customers, though i still have to

 

[Beaglebay]

I've been a bartender for 36 years, and have been a wise-ass much longer than that.

It's a perfect job/personality pairing

 

[SkiptoMyLou]

not restaurant, but customers in general. i took a job as a receptionist so i could get my foot in the door at my prior company. people would call and when i answered, they would ask ,"are you open?"

Working in the customer service industry for over a decade, if I wasn't so lazy, I could write a book about the stupidest stuff I've encountered.

 

[Beaglebay]

Does anyone here ever call a restaurant to find out what the soup of the day is? Granted, we serve many elderly folks, but I know I wouldn't leave my house for soup.

Love it when they say, "Oh...I don't like that, I'll call back tomorrow to see what you have."

 

[HSanders]

in that one's defense, maybe they want soup and sandwich and don't like any of the regular soups so will find another spot. but it does seem a bit silly to be sure.

 

[BradyGirl]

Working in the customer service industry for over a decade, if I wasn't so lazy, I could write a book about the stupidest stuff I've encountered.

You could call it Dumbest of the Dumb!

 

[John Locke]

I'm starting to lose faith in the humanity I hold in such high regard.

Thanks a lot, guys.