Scott Norwood wide, right into Pats Fans nuts

fulltilt

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Well here we are, for our only round of the Playoffs. Despite the flood of intellect on these very pages spewing like an ice choked Cazenovia creek overflowing into South Buffalo we have no answer to the salient points made by visitors from the west. We have no tight ends like Keith McKeller of K Gun fame (not Jim Kelly) to crush a defenses spirit. QB Jack Kemp won 2 AFL championships for the Bills. Even though he is dead he has 13 less turnovers than Mac and only 22 TD's less than the rookie this year.
The Bills line up is ready to dissect the hapless Pats like OJ slicing and slashing his way to the front of the concession line in his Bruno Magli's for a hot dog and beer. I predict 9 turnovers, Harris losing his helmet for a couple of plays and for the second consecutive meeting a beat down.

We have no chance. None.

Showboating Leon Lett Cheatriots 17
Never say die Don Beebe Bills 52

We are DOOOMED!
Doomed I tell you!!
 

3 Point Stan

POW! Right in the kissah.
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Realizing the collective error of their ways, all of Bills Mafia pledges to wear their "lucky" Zubaz to the game this time around. The plan pays off, resulting in 5 blocked punts and the stadium completely selling out of Labatt Blue mid-way through the 3rd quarter.

Josh McDaniels is spotted in the corner on his cell during the 4th quarter, asking to speak to a "Mr. Ross," pleading the importance of the call to whomever is on the other end of the line. Steve Belichick's tongue gets frozen to his tablet. Bill Belichick is waving his fist up into the sky, cursing Don Shula in some medieval language that has not been spoken aloud in 10,000 years.

Patriots fans are shocked; left to cry into their commemorative SB 36 sweatshirt, or their commemorative SB 38 sweatshirt, or their commemorative SB 39 sweatshirt, or their commemorative SB 49 sweatshirt, or their commemorative SB 51 sweatshirt, or perhaps their commemorative SB 53 sweatshirt before retreating home to their wonderful lives far, far away from Orchard Park, NY (which was, sadly, destroyed in the post game celebration, resulting in hundreds and hundreds of dollars in property damage).

Bills - 9
Patriots - 0
 

Foxx

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steve-belichick-tongue.gif
 

Patriots44

call me... P Quatro, Quatro
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the NFL has scheduled this game for Saturday, so the Pats can get the misery over one day early, and have Sunday free to start job hunting. cause after the beat down the Bills are gonna lay on them, a change in careers is there only choice

Mac "you want fries with that?" Jones has half his passes blow backwards and land behind him, which makes them laterals, which the Bills D runs back for a touchdown EVERY DAMN TIME

Meanwhile on D, Matt "I'd like to talk to you about your Car's extended warranty" Judon is actually invisible, not just in performance but you can actually see thru him! The refs can't decide exactly what rule he is breaking, but being a Patriot they decide it's gotta be all of them, so they assess 2,455 yards in penalties

Jake "In case of a water landing your seat cushion can be used a flotation device" Bailey only has four punts blocked this time, so that's actually an improvement
(note - on those seat cushions, they are a flotation device... until the Sharks show up, then they become bobbers)

Steve "Welcome to Wal Mart" Belichick (with that haircut he fits right in) gets hit on the head by an official Bills Mafia dildo. this causes him to make weird facial ticks and exhibit odd behavior... so pretty much the usual.

it's over before it even starts
Buffalo (frozen) Billdo's - 52
NE Frost-bitten Patsies - 3
 

BostonTim

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BIlls 14
Patriots 10

N'keal Harry literally eats Mac Jones' right arm, thinking it was an actual noodle.
You mean he wasn't ignoring the noise, just misinterpreting it?
 

bmooney54

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Mac Jones has never completed more than 3 passes in a game at Buffalo. Not even once! This game will be 30 degrees colder than Jones has ever played in. Our already deflated balls will be nearly flat due to PV=NrT. No way Jones can throw a spiral with a nearly flat football. Harry can't catch a cold in a pandemic, so there's no way he can catch a nearly flat football. Pats have no one on the O-line, no one in the secondary. All they have to do is double Henry and we won't score and there's no way we stop them from scoring. This one will be ugly. We're fvcked.
 

TommyD420

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Mac Jones has never completed more than 3 passes in a game at Buffalo. Not even once!
That's a really great take. You should have your own hot take site, I never even considered that. Do you think he can complete 4 passes? I don't. The Bills are far too mighty.
 

Patriots44

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That's a really great take. You should have your own hot take site, I never even considered that. Do you think he can complete 4 passes? I don't. The Bills are far too mighty.
Completed passes?!?! OMG. No way Jose
it will be so cold in Buffalo Saturday Night [How Cold is it!] the football will be wobbling worse then a flying dildo
Mac(aroni) hasn't been anywhere near this type of cold. we used to laugh at the thought of a southern boy QB playing in Northeast weather. we'll, the joke is on us!

Mac has a better chance of completing a pass to himself when his noodle arm wooblers blow back to him.

Doomed. simple as that. doomed.
 

Hawg73

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Ways we will be able to tell this one is over early:

1. N'Keal Harry is active and given several chances to make an impactful play

2. Mac Jones tries to play while wearing alpaca mittens OR when he puts his
helmet on one of his ears snaps off

3. We see Justin Herron lining up to start the game at LT

4. Jakobi Meyers gets whistled for lining up wrong. For the 85th time in his career.

5. When we try to tackle Singletary high, he gets low and twists and turns for an extra couple of yards

6. Joejuan Williams gets meaningful snaps

7. Every time a Buffalo player drops the ball it bounces right back into his hands

8. We drop an easy interception

9. Buffalo drives 82 yards on their first possession featuring two Allen runs for 1st down

10. Judon gets flagged for a late hit
 

TommyD420

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What? No 5?

I'm not sure how Singletary suddenly went from a hole in the roster to an unstoppable force of nature.

That's what he is, right? He looks like one against us. Everybody they trotted out there did including Tommy Fucking Doyle.
No 5.

You clearly said "when we try to tackle Singletary high". In most cases, they didn't try to tackle him at all. :coffee:
 
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