"The IG IG/Jerry Thornton Thread"

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So some of the newer members may not be familiar with our resident offbeat sports writer, Its Good Its Good, a/k/a Jerry Thornton. He's started doing pieces for WEEI.com, and here's his latest installment.

p.s. it helps if you click the link, also, so he can get more hits. http://www.weei.com/sports/boston/f.../27/confessions-patriots-training-camp-oholic

Confessions of a Patriots Training Camp-oholic
Wed, 07/28/2010 - 12:24am
By Jerry Thornton

I have a confession to make about a very serious matter. They say that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, so here goes. I’m going to admit this publicly for the first time.

My name is Jerry. And I’m … a Patriots Training Camp-oholic.

I love this time of year. LOVE it. Patton said when he looked over a battlefield, “God help me, how I love it so.” More than is healthy for me, I know. Because I realize of course that July and August isn’t real football. Hell, this early on it’s not even fake football. It’s 80-man rosters, receivers who’ll be in the CFL next month running routes for quarterbacks who’ll be working as mall cops. It’s undrafted linemen, as anonymous as doomed, red-shirted Star Trek crew members, running around pylons trying to earn a spot on the practice squad. So largely, it’s a waste of everybody’s time.

But it’s also so much more. It’s watching Brady, Moss, Welker, Faulk, Wilfork and some of the other greatest players ever wear a Pats uniform honing their craft. It’s watching the 57 rookies they drafted this year, learning their numbers, getting familiar with the way they run and the shape of their shoulder pads and seeing how they look. Above all, it’s Bill Belichick in a visor and gym shorts, walking between the practice fields spinning a whistle around his hand while Bon Jovi cranks on the speakers, a man in his element if ever there was one.

Consider this: How many opportunities in this life do you get to watch someone who is perhaps the greatest ever in his field, working at his artistry? Mozart didn’t write operas while 5,000 people sat in bleachers sucking back Vitamin Waters. Sixteenth-century Italy didn’t have cable showing “Hard Knocks: Michelangelo Sculpting David.” Grandpa Albert didn’t scribble out formulae on the chalkboard on “Keeping Up With the Einsteins.” Genius at work is a very rare thing and it’s not often you can witness it in person. But for Patriots fans, it’s just down Route 1.

Say, Roy, is this Heaven? No, it’s Foxboro.

So sure, I go to practice when I can. But even when I can’t, I like the whole package. Pouring over the daily reports. Catching up on the blogs. Anticipating the cuts. Waiting for the ones that hurt. Keeping an eye out for someone else’s high profile veteran being waived. Reading up on 7-on-7 drills, who made a spectacular catch and who picked off Brady. And if there’s time, I’ll even read the 10,000 profiles of the kicker and punter from those sportswriters who don’t know enough about football to write anything else.

Like I said, it isn’t real football. It’s the anticipation of football. Which isn’t the same thing, but it’s pretty damned good. The start of NFL camp is opening the doors on football’s Advent Calendar, with each day bringing you a tasty morsel to tide you over til Week 1. It’s the coming attractions before football’s feature presentation. It’s the smell of bacon before you actually get to eat any. It’s the way smokers describe lighting that eye-opener cigarette in the morning and you can’t wait to take the first drag. Following NFL training camp for me is what I imagine foreplay would be like, if I’d ever actually tried it.

I’m not sure exactly when I realized I had a problem, but I think it goes back to when I was a kid. Growing up, the end of July was a tough time of year for most of my friends. We were just past the halfway point of summer. Each day brought us further away from the blissfully over school year past and that much closer to the hideous, soul-sucking year to come. My buddies Beef and Yodel back in Weymouth would be wallowing in misery about it and start marking off the passage of time like Tom Hanks in his cave in “Castaway.”

But not me. I’d be giddy. I’d head home after a day of listening to my friends pee & moan about how summer was flying by, race in to grab The Patriot Ledger and read what Ron Hobson had to say about Stanley Morgan or Mosi Tatupu. Those Steve Grogan Pats clubs of the late 70s were my gateway teams. And I was hooked.

I’d wait for the news to come on (back when people under the age of 90 still watched local news sports reports) hoping to catch camp footage from Smithfield, Rhode Island, with the same excitement I had trying to catch a glimpse of nipple on the scrambled porn channel. I’d even keep a Will McDonough Sunday notes column between my mattresses, hoping no one would find out about my secret shame.

And I succeeded. No one knew. Through my college years and into adulthood, I kept my addiction hidden. I was what the experts call a “Functioning Camp-oholic.” I mean, there were some pretty lean years in there. The Ron Meyer Era. The Dick MacPherson Days and the disastrous Rod Rust Year when I hit rock bottom. Mostly I just deluded myself during those times that I was having fun. And Training Camp was usually the highlight of the season. Going back to the coming attractions/ movie metaphor, it was like seeing the preview for “Inception,” and then the featured film would turn out to be like “The A-Team,” a bitter disappointment.

Then of course, along came Bill Parcells, and everybody joined the party. He made the Pats a real, legitimate, NFL franchise for the first time in my life. For me it was a non-stop bender of optimism, excitement and the pure entertainment of watching Tuna work. Camp was Parcells’ stage, and he worked it like Richard Pryor. Calling Terry Glenn “she,” the whole “buying the groceries” thing. He was a master and for me it was like stepping up to harder stuff. The Training Camp monkey was on my back and there was no getting rid of it.

Then came the fateful day when Big Bill gave way to Little Bill. The Hooded One came and within what seemed like days took control of my system. Soon, a thousand quotes about how camp is like building a house and you have to lay the foundation then build it up brick by brick wasn’t enough. And one was too many.

I’ll never forget the time I visited camp with my brother Jack in 2001. Glenn, disgruntled over his contract, was trying to destroy the club with dissention, faking injury and leading the Tour de Sidelines on the stationary bike. Fans were losing faith in Drew Bledsoe and a good two dozen of them came to practice in Michael Bishop jerseys of all things. The team was coming off a 5-11 season and their quarterbacks coach had died a week earlier. I asked Jack to give me some hope, some reason to believe. And he convinced me to have faith in Belichick and the no-name free agents he’d brought in. Nobodies with names like Vrabel, Andruzzi, Compton, Smith and Pleasant. Somehow it all made sense to me so I drank the Kool-Aid that day and life hasn’t been the same since.

So that’s my story. Over the next six weeks, I’ll be battling my demons and getting my fix, but think I’ll make it through OK. Because now I’ve taking the first step of admitting I’m a Patriots Training Camp-oholic. See you in Foxboro this week. Cheers.
 
Thanks to the soon-to-be-cranked-up Lisa for the link and a mention that she is correct that hits directly to the EEI website do help Jerry's cause, so please hit it even if you read it here.

I remember the camp that Jerry mentioned. What he didn't mention was that Glenn was barely even pedaling that bike. Phoning it in. The kid was half nuts which is the only thing that prevented him from being a bigger force in the league than he ended up being.

I remember watching a drill in another camp where Bledsoe (the legend) and Brady (the complete unknown) were throwing red zone patterns and I was thinking that you could not see any dropoff when number 12 was in there. He was at least as good, maybe a little better. I figured it must have been a case of early-camp euphoria.

Jerry's line about just wanting to get a look-see at the new guys hit home with me. I remember my first look at Andre Tippett in camp and it was plain to see that the vets were impressed. He appeared almost unblockable and stayed that way right into Canton, OH.

Some guys are like that. You can see something in them right away and it is always a thrill for Pats addicts like myself to feel a kind a little rush that we hit the jackpot with a rookie.

Of course, the opposite is also true and I recall being shocked at how pedestrian Ken Sims looked as a rook when the hugely-hyped overall No. 1 couldn't get any penetration at all against Brian Holloway in pass-rushing drills. I was expecting Mean Joe Greene and we ended getting Mr. Green Jeans. First impressions, both fortunately and otherwise, usually do count.

My instincts tell me that we might be sitting on a powderkeg of talented rookies this year and I simply cannot wait to see if that impression might be correct and some of these guys hit the ground running like Andre did on that day in Smithfield RI, so many years ago. I can still see it like it was yesterday.

I love this time of year. Love it.
 
Jerry: "Bill....ok, first things first. Once and for all, huck that loogey for the love of God! Good. Feel better? Ok. There seemed to be a real focus this week on keeping a nice balance on the run vs. pass. Can you expound on this?"

God(BB): "Yes."


(awkward lengthy silence)


Jerry: "I'm done...."
 
Jerry: "Bill....ok, first things first. Once and for all, huck that loogey for the love of God! Good. Feel better? Ok. There seemed to be a real focus this week on keeping a nice balance on the run vs. pass. Can you expound on this?"

God(BB): "Yes."


(awkward lengthy silence)


Jerry: "I'm done...."

Of course we could always hope for the opposite:

Jerry: Coach, it always appears like you are just on the verge of hocking a loogey. Can you expound on this?

God(BB): That's an interesting question. I remember Pops Strudelmeyer from the Dayton Triangles back in the 30's who could spit from the sidelines to the hashmark and into the wind. Then there was Abe Gibron of the Bears who had some sort of phlegm issue that caused him to........(rambles on for 15 minutes about legendary spitters in football history).
 
Good stuff! I will click the link too since it helps out.
The day the SB is over to the start of the regular season is MY fantasy football (I HATE fantasy football).
 
Of course we could always hope for the opposite:

Jerry: Coach, it always appears like you are just on the verge of hocking a loogey. Can you expound on this?

God(BB): That's an interesting question. I remember Pops Strudelmeyer from the Dayton Triangles back in the 30's who could spit from the sidelines to the hashmark and into the wind. Then there was Abe Gibron of the Bears who had some sort of phlegm issue that caused him to........(rambles on for 15 minutes about legendary spitters in football history).


ROFL

Congrats, Hawg! You raised him right!
 
Of course we could always hope for the opposite:

Jerry: Coach, it always appears like you are just on the verge of hocking a loogey. Can you expound on this?

God(BB): That's an interesting question. I remember Pops Strudelmeyer from the Dayton Triangles back in the 30's who could spit from the sidelines to the hashmark and into the wind. Then there was Abe Gibron of the Bears who had some sort of phlegm issue that caused him to........(rambles on for 15 minutes about legendary spitters in football history).


Fantastic!

:clap:
 
IG IG's Assuming The Position

So as most of you know, I'm Jerry's biggest cheerleader here at the Planet. I just really get a kick out of his humorous/satirical/eccentric/cynical outlook on all things Patriots. He has a blog or two and the gig at 'EEI.com, and I'll usually post his Knee-Jerk Reactions after each game in full because some members here can't pull them up from work.

So here's his latest blog on the LB corps.

Positional Overview: If there’s one lesson we can glean from the way the Pats conducted their offseason, it’s that we’re not going to see any major change in Bill Belichick’s philosophy with regards to linebackers. He’s been plying his craft for 35 years and he’s not about to all of a sudden convert to, say, the Dick LeBeau School of aggressive, risk/reward, 1-gap zone blitzes the way Madonna took up Kabbalah or Mel Gibson went from Catholicism to insane, racist Nazism. The Pats had plenty of chances to pick up a quick-twitch, 5-technique defensive end or a smedium pass rushing outside linebacker in the James Harrison mold, and they passed every time. Instead, they re-upped Tully Banta-Cain coming off a career year and Derrick Burgess, who seemed to disappear for long stretches like he had a cloaking device in his helmet or was sporting a FieldTurf camo. But Belichick went way out of his way to praise Burgess for doing things he’d never been asked to in Oakland. Containing the pocket. Covering the flat. Setting the edge against the run. Basically doing all the small, unspectacular, non-highlighty things Chris Berman doesn’t have a sound effect for, but are critical for OLBs in the Pats’ scheme. Further proof we’ll see more of the same comes in the form of rookie Jermaine Cunningham, who played in a similar system under Urban Meyer and at 6-3 is the prototype of the big Willie McGinest type the Pats look for on the outside.

At inside linebacker, the Pats have the perfect building block in Jerod Mayo. A knee injury made him take a midget step backwards from his rookie season, but Mayo is smart, covers sideline-to-sideline, spends more time in the film room than Roger Ebert and appears to be stepping up to fill the Tedy Bruschi leadership void. But what Mayo has been lacking is that big, tough, punishing 2-down banger to play the Mike LB spot alongside him. Gary Guyton is a great story. An undrafted free agent who earned the multi-year deal he just got. But the Pats 3-4, like any other version, is predicated on having that stout Ted Johnson in the middle who can read the play, flow to the right gap, take on the lead blocker and either blow the play up or free up the Will (Mayo) or the strong safety to finish off the ball carrier. If there’s a God in heaven, that Mike LB will be either 2nd rounder Brandon Spikes or red shirted freshman Tyrone McKenzie. Like Cunningham, Spikes played a similar scheme at Florida and McKenzie has had a year to study it. It’s just a matter of who can step in an prove they know it faster.

Definite Starter: Mayo. Barring anything crazy happening, he should be wearing the green dot for the next 6-10 years.

Other Likely Starters: It’s just a hunch, but I’m going to go with Burgess and TBC at the OLBs and Spikes at ILB. Something tells me this kid is going to up the badassiness quotient the Pats have been lacking.

Best Subtraction: Adalius “Jetson” Thomas. The bad news for AD is no team has picked him up yet. The good news is that you don’t have to worry about traffic when you have nowhere to be.

Likely to Get Significant Playing Time: Cunningham. Again, it’s just a hunch.

Usual Suspects Who’ll Get the Bulk of Their Time on Special Teams But Will Sub In & Out in Subpackages a Lot: Pierre Woods, Rob Ninkovich, Eric Alexander

All Out of Chances: Shawn Crable. The conventional wisdom on Crable when he was drafted was that he needed to add weight. I talked to some people who met him at a charity event and said he’s huge through the upper body but still has skinny legs. So unless Belichick suddenly decides the body type he’s looking for is Spongebob, this doesn’t bode well. Neither does the fact that the Michigan Man of Mystery went on the active/PUP list yesterday. If he’s not ready to play in Week 1, I expect he’ll get the Eskimo funeral and we’ll never hear from him again.

Yeah, so I've seen Crable up close and personal twice now in the last couple of months, the latest being about two weeks ago at Jordan's Furniture where I thought he should be looking in the clearance section. Jerry's description of him is pretty much on target. The skinniest legs I've ever seen on a big guy. Twigs holding up a huge tree.

I think Jerry is wrong on Alexander...don't think he'll be here.

Nice dig at Adalius. ROFL
 
LOL @ the Chris Berman sound effect. No shit, huh?!!

ROFL

Loves some IGIG.
 
Jerry will be on the Planet Mikey show with Mike Adams tonight from 7-11:00 on WEEI tonight, Thursday, July 29.
 
a great night as the Redsox are not on and I will be out and about listening...maybe I should call in and make a boob out of myself...not sure I could do that verbally but I am a pro with a keyboard
 
Thanks to the soon-to-be-cranked-up Lisa for the link and a mention that she is correct that hits directly to the EEI website do help Jerry's cause, so please hit it even if you read it here.

WEEI is blocked here are work, so I do appreciate Lisa for posting the entire article, but I will click the link when I get home.

SSDD
 
Assuming the position: Defensive Line

Positional Overview: It’ll be a couple of years (or the equivalent of 10 billion Rick Pitino orgasms) at least before we know how the Richard Seymour trade worked out. But one thing we do know for sure is that the trade created a significant void in the Pats defense last year. Just like with the OLB spot, defensive end in Belichick’s scheme requires a very specific set of skills. Skills that make them a nightmare for offenses. Belichick’s DE’s play a 4-technique, head up directly on the offensive tackle or shaded slightly to his outside shoulder. They have to take on the tackle, have the leverage to hold their ground against double teams from the either the guard or tight end, be strong enough control both the B and C gaps, and the size to be able to still read the play and the brains to know what to do. Any knucklehead can line up in a gap and shoot in. But guys with the skill set to play in the Pats’ system aren’t filling up Craigslist. In fact, the best guy for the job was Seymour himself and they guys they plugged into his RDE spot all year were a major drop off and it cost them. The first play from scrimmage in the Baltimore playoff game was a simple inside zone run. Jarvis Green broke his gap discipline and was three steps into the backfield when Ray Rice broke through the line and was off to what Stuart Scott and I like to call “the hizzy.” The rest of the line is obviously a strength of the team. Vince Wilfork is the best (and best paid) nose in the game, and appears to be stepping up to take on one of the Faces of the Franchise roles. Ty Warren is back for his 8th year of being The Guy They Got in the Bledsoe Trade (how’s that working out so far?). But the weak link remains on the right side. I assumed filling that spot was going to be their top priority in the draft but the only D-linemen they took were Brandon Deaderick and Kade Weston in the 7th round, which shows you how much I know. They did add 10 year veterans Gerard Warren and Damione Lewis, but how well/quickly they pick things up is anyone’s guess.

Definite Starters: Warren, Wilfork.

Emerging Folk Hero: Mike Wright. Wright plays well whenever and wherever they plug him in. An undersized, undrafted free agent, he’s taken on that versatile overachiever spot that Dan Klecko never did. But I’m not sure any of us is comfortable with the idea of him taking 50 snaps a game.

Most Likely to Be a Draft Bust: Ron Brace. I don’t anyone who liked the move when the Pats took Brace with the 40th overall pick last year. And in the little time he got, he pretty much displayed the surefootedness of a Bruins Ice Girl. Brace himself has said he needs to improve more on the mental side of the game than the physical. But if he doesn’t do both soon, he’ll be choosing the menu for Bethel Johnson, Adrian Klemm and Chad Jackson at the Patriots 2nd Round Busts Reunion dinner.

Another Carbon Blob They Plugged In Last Year to See If He Could Slow Somebody Down: Myron Pryor. The best thing you can say about him is he was better than Brace.

Most Likely to Start at the RDE Spot: Gerard Warren. Let the lame jokes about the WWW. line begin.
 
This thread is long overdue.

Our one stop IGIG shopping thread!
 
This thread is long overdue.

Our one stop IGIG shopping thread!

He's got so many blogs and articles that it got crazy posting separate threads. He needs his own thread with all of his stuff...for posterity.
 
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