The Official Real Life Happens PP Member Support Thread

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Alk said:
I just wanted to stop in and thank you all so much for the well wishes. This is a time in our lives that I wouldn't wish on anyone (even a Jets fan). We have had an outpouring of support that I don't think we ever could have imagined. At times it has made it harder to hear just how many lives our son touched in his short 21 years of life but at the same time it gives us a great sense of pride & comfort. Probably a week after the accident we received a call from the highway department. One of the employees who happened to be a year older than our oldest son had found our younger son's ID. When he realized who we were he immediately went back to the site and found our older son's cell phone and by some miracle through the ice and rain it powered on. We were able to find the last picture of our two boys together that they took about 30 minutes before they headed home. We will treasure it forever. Our younger son had a follow up today and like we suspected, he will need surgery. Even with the first splint that they put him in he was still able to play his PC games which was a great escape for him. Today they took his old splint off and put on a much more restrictive splint on so there is no way he will be able to play his games. He took that really hard. He will have surgery next week after the visitati& memorial. Hopefully that will go well and they will put him in a much smaller splint.
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I love that they took this picture.
 
Yesterday we had the visitation. I don't even know how many people I hugged. Some I knew, some I didn't. But Grant touched them all and that was absolutely heart wrenching. Four straight hours of having my heart torn out of my chest and stomped on. Today we bury our first born son. I know this is going to sound selfish but I guess I'm fucking selfish. How in the fuck is any of this fair?
 
Alk said:
Yesterday we had the visitation. I don't even know how many people I hugged. Some I knew, some I didn't. But Grant touched them all and that was absolutely heart wrenching. Four straight hours of having my heart torn out of my chest and stomped on. Today we bury our first born son. I know this is going to sound selfish but I guess I'm fucking selfish. How in the fuck is any of this fair?
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I don't have words to fully express just how sorry I am about your loss. I'm sorry for the grief you and your family are going through. You have my deepest thoughts of comfort and strength.
 
Alk said:
Yesterday we had the visitation. I don't even know how many people I hugged. Some I knew, some I didn't. But Grant touched them all and that was absolutely heart wrenching. Four straight hours of having my heart torn out of my chest and stomped on. Today we bury our first born son. I know this is going to sound selfish but I guess I'm fucking selfish. How in the fuck is any of this fair?
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it isn't fair. it's part of the pain dagger. you are not selfish, you are a father who loves his son. i hope knowing how he touched so many can be a source of comfort and pride for you.
 
It isn't fair and it's horrible. I don't know how I'd be able endure what you're going through. I hope that there will come a time where the good memories outweigh the grief and loss. Thoughts and prayers today and always for you.
 
@Alk

Just cuz I remember, always do and fully care.

Started a thread on Facebook last night about coming of age in the 80s.

Me and Claremonster were going back forth with the best and worst of the influences on our development.

Then I came to Mike Patton.

The man who knows and deeply understands his incredible gifts and talents and the power of them with a helluva sense of humor not many understand, full confidence and balls of steel.

A man who breaks convention in everything he touches in the most beautiful of ways.

And make no mistake, challenging and breaking convention is essential.

As I said last night to CM, Jefferson spoke of a revolution every 15 years to keep shit honest. He wasn't just speaking about the blood of patriots and tyrants alike.

It is the likes of Mike Patton who are the most confident of non conformists who keep things honest.

Just by his mere existence things change.

He is my absolute soul brother.

From Faith No More to Mr. Bungle and way beyond to this day.

An "Epic" shout out to the greatness of Mike Patton.

Love ya man, I got ya, anytime.

:wuv:


View: https://youtu.be/ZG_k5CSYKhg



View: https://youtu.be/E7x_uBcg3DE



View: https://youtu.be/gjEbHBafvm0



View: https://youtu.be/vPzDTfIb0DU
 
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God almighty Alk, I just read this now. I am so sorry to hear this. Nothing I can say will do anything for you so I can only express my sadness to you on hearing this.

I can only share an old Irish prayer for the departed.

“Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away to the next room.

I am I and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other, That, we still are.


Call me by my old familiar name.

Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.

Put no difference into your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed

at the little jokes, we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.

Let it be spoken without effect.

Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same that it ever was.

There is absolute unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
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Roberto71 said:
God almighty Alk, I just read this now. I am so sorry to hear this. Nothing I can say will do anything for you so I can only express my sadness to you on hearing this.

I can only share an old Irish prayer for the departed.
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Never have heard this.

Perfect.

Sharing.

:wuv:
 
Alk said:
Yesterday we had the visitation. I don't even know how many people I hugged. Some I knew, some I didn't. But Grant touched them all and that was absolutely heart wrenching. Four straight hours of having my heart torn out of my chest and stomped on. Today we bury our first born son. I know this is going to sound selfish but I guess I'm fucking selfish. How in the fuck is any of this fair?
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I have had tremendous loss in my life during the past year. I joined two grief groups, and I also have a therapist whom I meet with weekly. I recommend both.
One thing I will tell you to help deal with the grief and process is to make sure you have a good support system in place and also to do lots of self-care. With such a huge loss, it is easy to not take care of yourself in the midst of the grief. Even if it’s just something small each day like a cup of coffee or a short walk please make sure to do it. These things have helped me tremendously over the past year , which has been the most difficult of my life.
Also I do not know if you are a person of faith or not, but I have leaned on God like I never have in the past and my church has been a huge support as well.
Also, please know that you and your family are in my prayers.
 
Alk said:
Yesterday we had the visitation. I don't even know how many people I hugged. Some I knew, some I didn't. But Grant touched them all and that was absolutely heart wrenching. Four straight hours of having my heart torn out of my chest and stomped on. Today we bury our first born son. I know this is going to sound selfish but I guess I'm fucking selfish. How in the fuck is any of this fair?
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Definitely not selfish and moreover there is nothing fair about any of it.

Be kind to yourself.
 
What Mazz said.
I can't comfort you, Alk, wish I could. But know your family is in my prayers.
All I know is that ache can be handled.
Live your lives for your beautiful boy. That is what we all want and he would want.
You did good, great even.
Trust you will be with him again.
Agony now, joy later.
God Bless.
 
Mazz22 said:
I have had tremendous loss in my life during the past year. I joined two grief groups, and I also have a therapist whom I meet with weekly. I recommend both.
One thing I will tell you to help deal with the grief and process is to make sure you have a good support system in place and also to do lots of self-care. With such a huge loss, it is easy to not take care of yourself in the midst of the grief. Even if it’s just something small each day like a cup of coffee or a short walk please make sure to do it. These things have helped me tremendously over the past year , which has been the most difficult of my life.
Also I do not know if you are a person of faith or not, but I have leaned on God like I never have in the past and my church has been a huge support as well.
Also, please know that you and your family are in my prayers.
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I didn't know of the depth of your loss @Mazz22 .

I'm always here. 🤗:wuv:
 
John Locke said:
I didn't know of the depth of your loss @Mazz22 .

I'm always here. 🤗:wuv:
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Thank you John. I know many here dislike me because of my Brady fandom but this formum has been a great source of comfort for me during this past year. I really was not following football at all until the season actually started as I just didn’t have the mental capacity for it. But I’ve been a part of this form for many years so just corresponding with long time posters like yourself up here has been part of my healing process.
 
deec77 said:
Yes it is this thread got me through my granddaughters cancer. Sincerely so sorry.

~Dee~
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That's wonderful to hear. Support systems are so vital to healing.
 
Mazz22 said:
That's wonderful to hear. Support systems are so vital to healing.
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Yes they are I had a fantastic support system with my granddaughter I work with them and at home, but here was extremely important. I could be a grandmother not a DR. I work with children through out many horrific issues but terminal kids are special to me.

~Dee~

FYI fortunately she wasn’t terminal.
 
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Mazz22 said:
Thank you John. I know many here dislike me because of my Brady fandom but this formum has been a great source of comfort for me during this past year. I really was not following football at all until the season actually started as I just didn’t have the mental capacity for it. But I’ve been a part of this form for many years so just corresponding with long time posters like yourself up here has been part of my healing process.
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It's only sports Mazz. Nothing is or ever should be personal on this forum.
 
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