I am really glad to hear how things turned out, in contrast to how things might have gone.
Appreciate the level of detail you shared, Hope you're back to full-strength soon.
And FWIW... you picked a good Pats game to miss.
The Official Real Life Happens PP Member Support Thread
- Thread starter BY1401
- Start date
Share this page
Appreciate the level of detail you shared, Hope you're back to full-strength soon.
And FWIW... you picked a good Pats game to miss.
I actually watched it!I am really glad to hear how things turned out, in contrast to how things might have gone.
Appreciate the level of detail you shared, Hope you're back to full-strength soon.
And FWIW... you picked a good Pats game to miss.
I was in the Coronary Care Unit from about 15:00 after being transferred after the op and I had my laptop so watched it on Gamepass. I don't think it helped with my blood pressure. I felt like crap at the time and thought it might be a distraction.
OSUBuckeye
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2005
- Messages
- 13,226
- Reaction score
- 8,795
- Points
- 113
- Location
- Just waiting on whatever's next
This is a warning of a long post. I tried to cut it but the words just came out. It is okay if you move on from it.
This is 1 of 2 post.
I am not sure who noticed I have been absent lately. First time was in Aug-Sept when I did my yearly trip to Northern Maine to check on mom. I had to go back up from the end of Nov-Dec again to Northern Maine.
I think I have placed just two posts in the ask for prayer thread. ( To me that is basically what it is) first was my niece when a cold virus went to her heart( she is recovered but it left her heart less than healthy) and when my father in law recently was going through major health issues this entire year. I was honestly worried he would pass 2x this year. If I posts for myself apart from these I have forgotten them. I tend to be the one making prayers, comfort and thoughts in the thread or on the side in mail.
But I need to let this out into the universe.
The week prior to Nov 26th my sister back home called us up. The doctor told her to call family members concerning my mom. I have been vocal about Alzheimer’s and how it has afflicted my mom’s side of the family. So far about 75-80% either have it now or have died from it. It will come for my sisters and me to some degree or some of us.
We booked a plane ticket on Nov 26th to go. I met up with my sister in Newark who was flying from VA. We were picked up/went straight to the home. We arrived five minutes before the priest came to give last rites.
That night we slept in her room, my two sisters and I. Mom went through various stages of motions. Now it is Monday and my sister who lives home it was time for her to go to her house. She had been at the home Friday and had left and than been there Saturday and Sunday. The home fed us the times we were there and brought in an extra cot.
Going through rubbing mom’s hand and leg, my oldest sister(VA) telling her it is okay to let go. I said the rosary by her side while my sister replied to the prayers I was saying. Many times mom would stop breathing as I rushed to where the staff was. We were told this was part of this sucky process.
Mom passed Nov 27th at 8:55 pm. I had made the last run to the staff to say she had stopped breathing again, they ran to her room. Seeing four staff members huddling over mom and than turning to get another staff I knew just from Amanda’s face. Soon after they placed the cover over mom’s face. My sister burst into tears, Amber comforted her. I cried but it was brief.
It was time for me to make calls. I called my husband first. I called my cousin, Jackie, who’s mom has been the oldest of the clan since my aunt passed last year. She offered, my aunt, to make the calls for the remaining siblings. I said yes and thanks her. I called my sister, my middle one from Maine, she was calm about it but I suspect she knew what I was going to say.
As the staff prepares mom, washing her completely as a final token of honor and respect for my mom we waited a bit away. Knowing I did not want to see my mom taken out I suggested we go to the sun room down the hall.
The week after that Monday was hectic. I have two sisters, they are alpha females, hear them roar. That was and has been an issue.
Family started showing up. My son came up. Hubby was not able to. He came up and left being home only 18 hours due to his job. My son hates to fly, to say hate is such an understatement. But he knew not coming was not an option. I had told him he would be a pallbearer.
The week of arrangements for the funeral was hectic enough as it is but with my two sisters deciding every thing it made me a bunch of emotions. I did interrupted them stood up twice, I know it is small but if you knew them you would know that is a victory.
I was asked by one of my sisters to say a decade of the rosary by mom’s coffin at her wake, without thinking I said yes and am glad I did.
My two sisters have cried a lot. I did my small bit at the home on the 27th. At the funeral I teared up and wiped my eyes a lot. At the end as they brought the coffin to the back of the church waiting for the transfer I went to the coffin tapped it three times and cried a tad as son was there he comforted me.
My middle sister was trying to come up with people who could be pallbearers my oldest sister and I interrupted her. It was easy, three son in laws three grandsons, period. Though we used my niece’s spouse to replace my husband.
But that is about it. I know people grieve differently and at different times. It will come to me and it will be bad. I been staying busy. There was so much to do and catch up on once I got back home and I still feel like I am behind. I feel if I slow down it will hit me so I have not been slowing down.
My sister in VA said she won’t put up a Christmas tree this year, that was mom’s favorite holiday. To me that is more the reason to put up my tree in celebration of the season and of mom, the tree went up yesterday.
Alzheimer’s is a bitch of a disease that as ravished my mom’s side for decades.
Side note- back home they do an Acadian festival in celebration of our Acadian history. #ProudAcadian Every year they celebrate a last name of my people who came over in the very early 1700’s. Going to the one celebrating my mom’s maiden name I bought the genealogy book. At the very beginning of this huge book it talks about something that was running rampant in the villages and towns. The symptoms sides along with Alzheimer’s. Basically, my family was marked from way back when.
I went home in August/September of this year and than again in Nov/Dec. Back home the ground is frozen so mom was placed in what they call the Vault, I don’t remember how to spell the french word for it. Once it is not frozen she and everyone who couldn’t will be buried. Odds are I will be back in Northern Maine for that.
The constant travel haw wreck havoc on me with my various illnesses. But I did it simply because it was for mom. And when I would go up I be there for many weeks. I would call her even when she could not answer I wanted her to know someone was thinking of her if she still had those thoughts.
So, officially my two sisters and I are orphans. How we will handle this individually and collectively remains to be seen.
My nephew, son of my oldest sister, said that memere raised three strong women. My two sisters are. I am strong in certain situations but overall I am not so sure what I am, who I am from being her daughter.
This won’t stop me from going home. I still have people there I want to visit for the day will come when it will be their turn to go home.
The French in me from both sides and being an author I have more to say.
Who was my mom? She was raised during the depression into a Catholic family of 15 children.( there was actually a neighbor near our house that had more, much more) Her faith was strong. She married a love of her life, my dad, yet they were married briefly just slightly over 12-13 years. She married again a few months after I got married. She wanted her girls to be taken care of before she got married again.
Mom did not graduate high school, she got tired of it. Yet she helped me with my geometry and other subjects. Without a degree she was able to fix her mixer, toaster, vacuum and more. There was not an option of throwing it and buying another one. Money was not there. She raised us making sure we had a roof over our head, clothes on our back with food in our bellies. She found a job quickly after dad passed, working long hours in the cold, snowy and icy Maine winters.
We had huge gardens and she made our blankets and cloths to a degree. She didn’t tell us she loved us. Sadly it took me a while to realize she was showing it. I only recognized it after I was married myself with a child.
This is 1 of 2 post.
I am not sure who noticed I have been absent lately. First time was in Aug-Sept when I did my yearly trip to Northern Maine to check on mom. I had to go back up from the end of Nov-Dec again to Northern Maine.
I think I have placed just two posts in the ask for prayer thread. ( To me that is basically what it is) first was my niece when a cold virus went to her heart( she is recovered but it left her heart less than healthy) and when my father in law recently was going through major health issues this entire year. I was honestly worried he would pass 2x this year. If I posts for myself apart from these I have forgotten them. I tend to be the one making prayers, comfort and thoughts in the thread or on the side in mail.
But I need to let this out into the universe.
The week prior to Nov 26th my sister back home called us up. The doctor told her to call family members concerning my mom. I have been vocal about Alzheimer’s and how it has afflicted my mom’s side of the family. So far about 75-80% either have it now or have died from it. It will come for my sisters and me to some degree or some of us.
We booked a plane ticket on Nov 26th to go. I met up with my sister in Newark who was flying from VA. We were picked up/went straight to the home. We arrived five minutes before the priest came to give last rites.
That night we slept in her room, my two sisters and I. Mom went through various stages of motions. Now it is Monday and my sister who lives home it was time for her to go to her house. She had been at the home Friday and had left and than been there Saturday and Sunday. The home fed us the times we were there and brought in an extra cot.
Going through rubbing mom’s hand and leg, my oldest sister(VA) telling her it is okay to let go. I said the rosary by her side while my sister replied to the prayers I was saying. Many times mom would stop breathing as I rushed to where the staff was. We were told this was part of this sucky process.
Mom passed Nov 27th at 8:55 pm. I had made the last run to the staff to say she had stopped breathing again, they ran to her room. Seeing four staff members huddling over mom and than turning to get another staff I knew just from Amanda’s face. Soon after they placed the cover over mom’s face. My sister burst into tears, Amber comforted her. I cried but it was brief.
It was time for me to make calls. I called my husband first. I called my cousin, Jackie, who’s mom has been the oldest of the clan since my aunt passed last year. She offered, my aunt, to make the calls for the remaining siblings. I said yes and thanks her. I called my sister, my middle one from Maine, she was calm about it but I suspect she knew what I was going to say.
As the staff prepares mom, washing her completely as a final token of honor and respect for my mom we waited a bit away. Knowing I did not want to see my mom taken out I suggested we go to the sun room down the hall.
The week after that Monday was hectic. I have two sisters, they are alpha females, hear them roar. That was and has been an issue.
Family started showing up. My son came up. Hubby was not able to. He came up and left being home only 18 hours due to his job. My son hates to fly, to say hate is such an understatement. But he knew not coming was not an option. I had told him he would be a pallbearer.
The week of arrangements for the funeral was hectic enough as it is but with my two sisters deciding every thing it made me a bunch of emotions. I did interrupted them stood up twice, I know it is small but if you knew them you would know that is a victory.
I was asked by one of my sisters to say a decade of the rosary by mom’s coffin at her wake, without thinking I said yes and am glad I did.
My two sisters have cried a lot. I did my small bit at the home on the 27th. At the funeral I teared up and wiped my eyes a lot. At the end as they brought the coffin to the back of the church waiting for the transfer I went to the coffin tapped it three times and cried a tad as son was there he comforted me.
My middle sister was trying to come up with people who could be pallbearers my oldest sister and I interrupted her. It was easy, three son in laws three grandsons, period. Though we used my niece’s spouse to replace my husband.
But that is about it. I know people grieve differently and at different times. It will come to me and it will be bad. I been staying busy. There was so much to do and catch up on once I got back home and I still feel like I am behind. I feel if I slow down it will hit me so I have not been slowing down.
My sister in VA said she won’t put up a Christmas tree this year, that was mom’s favorite holiday. To me that is more the reason to put up my tree in celebration of the season and of mom, the tree went up yesterday.
Alzheimer’s is a bitch of a disease that as ravished my mom’s side for decades.
Side note- back home they do an Acadian festival in celebration of our Acadian history. #ProudAcadian Every year they celebrate a last name of my people who came over in the very early 1700’s. Going to the one celebrating my mom’s maiden name I bought the genealogy book. At the very beginning of this huge book it talks about something that was running rampant in the villages and towns. The symptoms sides along with Alzheimer’s. Basically, my family was marked from way back when.
I went home in August/September of this year and than again in Nov/Dec. Back home the ground is frozen so mom was placed in what they call the Vault, I don’t remember how to spell the french word for it. Once it is not frozen she and everyone who couldn’t will be buried. Odds are I will be back in Northern Maine for that.
The constant travel haw wreck havoc on me with my various illnesses. But I did it simply because it was for mom. And when I would go up I be there for many weeks. I would call her even when she could not answer I wanted her to know someone was thinking of her if she still had those thoughts.
So, officially my two sisters and I are orphans. How we will handle this individually and collectively remains to be seen.
My nephew, son of my oldest sister, said that memere raised three strong women. My two sisters are. I am strong in certain situations but overall I am not so sure what I am, who I am from being her daughter.
This won’t stop me from going home. I still have people there I want to visit for the day will come when it will be their turn to go home.
The French in me from both sides and being an author I have more to say.
Who was my mom? She was raised during the depression into a Catholic family of 15 children.( there was actually a neighbor near our house that had more, much more) Her faith was strong. She married a love of her life, my dad, yet they were married briefly just slightly over 12-13 years. She married again a few months after I got married. She wanted her girls to be taken care of before she got married again.
Mom did not graduate high school, she got tired of it. Yet she helped me with my geometry and other subjects. Without a degree she was able to fix her mixer, toaster, vacuum and more. There was not an option of throwing it and buying another one. Money was not there. She raised us making sure we had a roof over our head, clothes on our back with food in our bellies. She found a job quickly after dad passed, working long hours in the cold, snowy and icy Maine winters.
We had huge gardens and she made our blankets and cloths to a degree. She didn’t tell us she loved us. Sadly it took me a while to realize she was showing it. I only recognized it after I was married myself with a child.
Part 2
Mom loved her wrestling. She got it honest from her father, my pepere. I get it honest from both of them as we crossed into Canada to watch live matches when wrestling was not entertainment but wrestling in its finest. I still watch, it was always as an honor and respect for my pepere, I will continue now as honor and respect for my mom.
Mom was a no nonsense kind of person, it is how she was raised with her siblings. Mom again with no high school degree spoke Latin, French and English. This was part of Northern Maine in her time being taught by nuns early on.
Mom LOVED her country music, rocking chair and playing cards. She was a vicious card player. You didn’t want to be her partner for if you caused her to lose she be upset. But you didn’t want to play against her for if you won she be upset. That was mom.
She to date is the only person I knew who could shop for groceries just once a month and we never ran out. ( minus bread, milk and eggs). She had a head for figures and budgeting and could squeeze a red cent out of a stone.
Us being beyond poor mom went to the town office asking if she qualified for welfare, something to help her kids. She was told no. Mom told the lady she knew of many people in town who were making more than she and were able to get it. The manager said tell us the names and we will give you some. Mom’s answer pretty much sums up who she was. She said, “ That is not my job, it’s yours.” Grabbing my hand and we walked out.
Mom was proud, resourceful, tough as nails, smart, so incredible smart, the kind you can’t learn from books. She was strict she was firmed but she was raising three girls on her own.
Going to my memere, ( my dad’s mom) she asked if she would watch me to help out. When dad died, his siblings had the attitude well, he is gone, we are no longer related to us. One aunt actually said that to our faces. My memere, she was special, only spoke French and thought that was rubbish and took care of me.
I hope she was proud of me. But her personality was so complex in its simplicity it is a guess.
Alzheimer’s no longer has a hold on my mom and for that I am grateful.
Dad you left to soon, I was five. Mom, you are no longer in pain. You both can rest and are now in peace. I need to find my peace.
Mom loved her wrestling. She got it honest from her father, my pepere. I get it honest from both of them as we crossed into Canada to watch live matches when wrestling was not entertainment but wrestling in its finest. I still watch, it was always as an honor and respect for my pepere, I will continue now as honor and respect for my mom.
Mom was a no nonsense kind of person, it is how she was raised with her siblings. Mom again with no high school degree spoke Latin, French and English. This was part of Northern Maine in her time being taught by nuns early on.
Mom LOVED her country music, rocking chair and playing cards. She was a vicious card player. You didn’t want to be her partner for if you caused her to lose she be upset. But you didn’t want to play against her for if you won she be upset. That was mom.
She to date is the only person I knew who could shop for groceries just once a month and we never ran out. ( minus bread, milk and eggs). She had a head for figures and budgeting and could squeeze a red cent out of a stone.
Us being beyond poor mom went to the town office asking if she qualified for welfare, something to help her kids. She was told no. Mom told the lady she knew of many people in town who were making more than she and were able to get it. The manager said tell us the names and we will give you some. Mom’s answer pretty much sums up who she was. She said, “ That is not my job, it’s yours.” Grabbing my hand and we walked out.
Mom was proud, resourceful, tough as nails, smart, so incredible smart, the kind you can’t learn from books. She was strict she was firmed but she was raising three girls on her own.
Going to my memere, ( my dad’s mom) she asked if she would watch me to help out. When dad died, his siblings had the attitude well, he is gone, we are no longer related to us. One aunt actually said that to our faces. My memere, she was special, only spoke French and thought that was rubbish and took care of me.
I hope she was proud of me. But her personality was so complex in its simplicity it is a guess.
Alzheimer’s no longer has a hold on my mom and for that I am grateful.
Dad you left to soon, I was five. Mom, you are no longer in pain. You both can rest and are now in peace. I need to find my peace.
Last edited:
PumpDee
They Hate Us Cuz They Ain't Us.
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2009
- Messages
- 12,150
- Reaction score
- 3,663
- Points
- 113
- Age
- 46
Great tribute. God bless, Muse. Sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss, Muse. Being raised by such an amazing woman, you we gifted much more than those who had material wealth.
Jesus Muse....
So sorry to hear this. You are 100% correct for pouring all that out here. You were there for your mother in the end, she will have known that.
Sincere condolences to you and family.
So sorry to hear this. You are 100% correct for pouring all that out here. You were there for your mother in the end, she will have known that.
Sincere condolences to you and family.
LordSensei1958
Lordsoftherings
Beautifully written, Muse. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sorry.
HSanders
R.I.P. Hawgie 💔
Aw, Muse, I am so sorry. If only we are so lucky to be given the tribute you shared with us...
You and your family are very much in my thoughts. I hope that peace and comfort find you soon.
<3
-Steve
You and your family are very much in my thoughts. I hope that peace and comfort find you soon.
<3
-Steve
John Locke
Bringing Light and Justice to the World
My close friend Steve passed away yesterday.
Years of substance abuse and diabetes took his legs 2 weeks ago. Nature too the rest.
In our own special way we've been brothers since we were 16 years old raising hell in Bristol, NH.
Most loved him but most didn't really know him the way I did. The biggest heart in a gruff exterior.
Love ya brother. Never gonna forget ya. Tell my mom I said hi when you see her, she loved you too.
Peace out Biggie.
![P7010002[1]-1.jpg](https://www.patriotsplanet.net/BB/data/attachments/22/22784-315c0c381623a030f7a05fd39564a149.jpg?hash=MVwMOBYjoD "P7010002[1]-1.jpg")
Years of substance abuse and diabetes took his legs 2 weeks ago. Nature too the rest.
In our own special way we've been brothers since we were 16 years old raising hell in Bristol, NH.
Most loved him but most didn't really know him the way I did. The biggest heart in a gruff exterior.
Love ya brother. Never gonna forget ya. Tell my mom I said hi when you see her, she loved you too.
Peace out Biggie.
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2005
- Messages
- 42,479
- Reaction score
- 14,196
- Points
- 113
- Age
- 77
Sorry, of course, for your loss. I've lost some dear friends (including a groomsman who really was as close as any brother could be. So very hard. Always remember him on our wedding anniversary.My close friend Steve passed away yesterday.
Years of substance abuse and diabetes took his legs 2 weeks ago. Nature too the rest.
In our own special way we've been brothers since we were 16 years old raising hell in Bristol, NH.
Most loved him but most didn't really know him the way I did. The biggest heart in a gruff exterior.
Love ya brother. Never gonna forget ya. Tell my mom I said hi when you see her, she loved you too.
Peace out Biggie.
View attachment 22784
PS. I certainly see his gruff exterior.
John Locke
Bringing Light and Justice to the World
Sorry, of course, for your loss. I've lost some dear friends (including a groomsman who really was as close as any brother could be. So very hard. Always remember him on our wedding anniversary.
PS. I certainly see his gruff exterior.
He was a Native American, an Angel, the kind from Hell, hence the gruff crap, he was also my brother in soul.
Yes, this one's rough.
His mom passed away a few months ago, a Second mom to me. And no one cared enough to have a service or burial or anything for her.
I will not let Steve go out like that. I'm putting together a GoFund thing for his burial and a celebration of his life, the way he'd want it, the way he lived, raisin hell like when we 16. Outdoor party, all his music, all his friends, lotsa beer. One perfect send off. It will bring a lot of us back and closer together after drifting apart cuz life happens. Gonna be one for the books. He deserves it.
John Locke
Bringing Light and Justice to the World
Thank you Dee.