The Official Real Life Happens PP Member Support Thread

[BostonTim]

Truly in awe of all the kind words, prayers, etcetera. It gives me a great feeling to hear such genuine concern for LORI.

Just found my mind articulating a great loss we face. We've been married 52 plus years and have shared so so much. Joy, sadness, successes, disappointments, all the things that life mandates. I will truly miss being able to fully share those memories.

I might kick some of that around on here from time to time.

Anyway, many many thanks and much love to you all.

Cheers,

 

[deec77]

You got it always. Ask O_P_T big shoulders are needed life throws you lemons make lemonade.

My cancer survivor always amazes me with her resilience and we talk daily … play golf together, she tells me I can’t die but I know she will carry on regardless. The key resilience… you were all here for me i will always be here for you guys and gals.

~Dee~

 

[HSanders]

Truly in awe of all the kind words, prayers, etcetera. It gives me a great feeling to hear such genuine concern for LORI.

Just found my mind articulating a great loss we face. We've been married 52 plus years and have shared so so much. Joy, sadness, successes, disappointments, all the things that life mandates. I will truly miss being able to fully share those memories.

I might kick some of that around on here from time to time.

Anyway, many many thanks and much love to you all.

Cheers,

please do share as you'd like. selfishly,i enjoy reading your words.

 

[patswin]

In light of Tim's sad news this must seem trivial. And Tim, my thoughts are with you.

Some of you know my boy was just married in April to a fantastic gal. Tonight he calls me and asks me about my past episodes of atrial fibrillation. ( that's another story).
I had this WTF moment and said what's going on? he says my heart rate is 150, and I have chest pains. This kid is 35 and a health fiend, a rough and tough cop and the picture of fitness. He's in FL, I am in MA. I said get to the ER, so his wife drives him two blocks to the ER and all they know is he didn't have a heart attack, and they aren't sure what is going on. His blood pressure was too high also. Put him on meds to control heart rate and BP, sent home and referred to his PCP and hopefully a cardiologist.
Between that and the events of the day, I am having a cocktail and debating going down to FL for a week or so.

 

[patswin]

As some of you may know from a post I posted last year about my mom having dementia, it's slowly progressing to the point that now we are going to have to put her in a home (Southridge in Biddeford) where she will be with her sister and closer to several of her other sisters. This hasn't been an easy task since I am located so far away from her but we are doing what she wants and what we think is best for her. We are getting some push back from my brother and her partner of over 40 years, they want her to live in a home closer to them (Lewiston) but this isn't about them and I can't seem to get that through their heads. Anyways, we are pushing forward and she is going into Southridge possibly this week, it will be comforting to know that she is being taken care of and is closer to her immediate family where they can visit her more often than when she lived in Litchfield. I figured I'd give an update and share it with the group.

AK, my Dad had dementia and it's so gut wrenching. Every time I hear of this with a parent my heart breaks. All you can do is what you are doing. They need to be safe and cared for. It's a slow, agonizing and emotional time. Be assured of my prayers for your Mom.

 

[deec77]

In light of Tim's sad news this must seem trivial. And Tim, my thoughts are with you.

Some of you know my boy was just married in April to a fantastic gal. Tonight he calls me and asks me about my past episodes of atrial fibrillation. ( that's another story).
I had this WTF moment and said what's going on? he says my heart rate is 150, and I have chest pains. This kid is 35 and a health fiend, a rough and tough cop and the picture of fitness. He's in FL, I am in MA. I said get to the ER, so his wife drives him two blocks to the ER and all they know is he didn't have a heart attack, and they aren't sure what is going on. His blood pressure was too high also. Put him on meds to control heart rate and BP, sent home and referred to his PCP and hopefully a cardiologist.
Between that and the events of the day, I am having a cocktail and debating going down to FL for a week or so.

Sorry to hear this he’s in my thoughts ….. (((((hugs))))))

~Dee~

 

[patswin]

Sorry to hear this he’s in my thoughts ….. (((((hugs))))))

~Dee~

Thanks. He is much better this morning and has a follow up appointment set. It's very concerning and I also learned he was ignoring this condition for some time before seeking help which I sternly explained he should not have. At least it isn't a heart attack.

 

[O_P_T]

Oh fuck, where to start.

This past Spring, the neurology team for my wife's Parkinson's changed and they ordered MRI's.

Turns out she had four small strokes sometimes since 2017 (her last brain MRI).

This is on top of her chronic dislocated shoulder, that had her pain up to a constant 8.

Saw an orthopedic guy who said there weren't many good surgical options, so he referred us to Pain Management people, who did two nerve blocks, which seemed to have helped, bringing the pain down to a steady 2, but ramping up to a 5 or 6 if she moves the shoulder the wrong way.

Anyway, the follow up for the stroke diagnosis, included more MRI's and a CAT scan.

The MRI of her abdomen showed cirrhosis of her liver, from when she used to drink a lot in the past. So the liver specialist didn't like the fact that she was taking Celebrex for the pain from her partially slipped disk in her lumbar.

So we talked to her PCP, and he said we should try Tramadol, but warned that it could cause balance issues, not a good thing with someone with Parkinson's. Well a week in she fell and I asked her point blank if her balance was bad, and she said yes, so back onto the Celebrex.

The CAT scan showed blockage in her left carotid artery, and I'm waiting on a conclusion if that will need a splint or not.

WE were sent to a cardiologist, who has her on a heart monitor as I type.

She's due for a colonoscopy, and she's at high risk since her dad died of colon cancer.

We had a pre-procedure meeting, and I expressed my concern about the prep, since I was worried she would fall trying to get to the bathroom. They had a good answer. De to her multiple health issues, they would want to do the procedure at a hospital anyway, so they could get her a 23 hour "not really an admittance, admittance." so the staff could help her during the prep. + one for the team.

They said they don't want to do that with the heart monitor in place, so that won't happen till September.

Then, the icing on the fucking cake.

My mom turned 99 in January, and has shown cognitive decline for the past year +. Cognitive heart failure, meant her brains wasn't getting enough O2.

We put her in assisted living last December, and in the Spring into the "Memory Unit".

I'm the only sibling local, so I had point on dealing with this. My sisters did as much as they could remotely, but well...



We knew it was a question of time, and that time came last Thursday.

Yesterday, I went to the facility to gather up her personal belongings we wanted to keep. The staff was helpful, and I'm glad my mom spent her last days in a place that genuinely cared for her, not like some of the horror stories one hears about such facilities.

In fact, when I explained why I wanted to take my mom's wheelchair, in case my wife ever needed one, one of the staff took me aside, gave me her card and explained she was also invovled in Parkinson's care, and if I ever needed any help, to give her a call.

Right now, I don't know what to think, other than to seriously look into that shoulder reduction surgery, since the powers that be clearly think mine are way to fucking big.

Here endeth the rant.

 

[deec77]

Oh fuck, where to start.

This past Spring, the neurology team for my wife's Parkinson's changed and they ordered MRI's.

Turns out she had four small strokes sometimes since 2017 (her last brain MRI).

This is on top of her chronic dislocated shoulder, that had her pain up to a constant 8.

Saw an orthopedic guy who said there weren't many good surgical options, so he referred us to Pain Management people, who did two nerve blocks, which seemed to have helped, bringing the pain down to a steady 2, but ramping up to a 5 or 6 if she moves the shoulder the wrong way.

Anyway, the follow up for the stroke diagnosis, included more MRI's and a CAT scan.

The MRI of her abdomen showed cirrhosis of her liver, from when she used to drink a lot in the past. So the liver specialist didn't like the fact that she was taking Celebrex for the pain from her partially slipped disk in her lumbar.

So we talked to her PCP, and he said we should try Tramadol, but warned that it could cause balance issues, not a good thing with someone with Parkinson's. Well a week in she fell and I asked her point blank if her balance was bad, and she said yes, so back onto the Celebrex.

The CAT scan showed blockage in her left carotid artery, and I'm waiting on a conclusion if that will need a splint or not.

WE were sent to a cardiologist, who has her on a heart monitor as I type.

She's due for a colonoscopy, and she's at high risk since her dad died of colon cancer.

We had a pre-procedure meeting, and I expressed my concern about the prep, since I was worried she would fall trying to get to the bathroom. They had a good answer. De to her multiple health issues, they would want to do the procedure at a hospital anyway, so they could get her a 23 hour "not really an admittance, admittance." so the staff could help her during the prep. + one for the team.

They said they don't want to do that with the heart monitor in place, so that won't happen till September.

Then, the icing on the fucking cake.

My mom turned 99 in January, and has shown cognitive decline for the past year +. Cognitive heart failure, meant her brains wasn't getting enough O2.

We put her in assisted living last December, and in the Spring into the "Memory Unit".

I'm the only sibling local, so I had point on dealing with this. My sisters did as much as they could remotely, but well...



We knew it was a question of time, and that time came last Thursday.

Yesterday, I went to the facility to gather up her personal belongings we wanted to keep. The staff was helpful, and I'm glad my mom spent her last days in a place that genuinely cared for her, not like some of the horror stories one hears about such facilities.

In fact, when I explained why I wanted to take my mom's wheelchair, in case my wife ever needed one, one of the staff took me aside, gave me her card and explained she was also invovled in Parkinson's care, and if I ever needed any help, to give her a call.

Right now, I don't know what to think, other than to seriously look into that shoulder reduction surgery, since the powers that be clearly think mine are way to fucking big.

Here endeth the rant.

You my friend are a hero ((((hugs)))) your wife is in good hands!


~Dee~

 

[HSanders]

wow @O_P_T
i'm speechless. i am glad you can "talk" to us. sometimes just seeing it all in writing is cathartic. wishing your wife and you well on your journey for answers. i hope you get a chance to lay down the load sometimes.
my condolences on the loss of your mother.

@patswin
how is your son?

 

[patswin]

wow @O_P_T
i'm speechless. i am glad you can "talk" to us. sometimes just seeing it all in writing is cathartic. wishing your wife and you well on your journey for answers. i hope you get a chance to lay down the load sometimes.
my condolences on the loss of your mother.

@patswin
how is your son?

He is doing good, on some meds to control BP and other variables. I believe he sees specialists this week I think it is.

 

[Roberto71]

Oh fuck, where to start.

This past Spring, the neurology team for my wife's Parkinson's changed and they ordered MRI's.

Turns out she had four small strokes sometimes since 2017 (her last brain MRI).

This is on top of her chronic dislocated shoulder, that had her pain up to a constant 8.

Saw an orthopedic guy who said there weren't many good surgical options, so he referred us to Pain Management people, who did two nerve blocks, which seemed to have helped, bringing the pain down to a steady 2, but ramping up to a 5 or 6 if she moves the shoulder the wrong way.

Anyway, the follow up for the stroke diagnosis, included more MRI's and a CAT scan.

The MRI of her abdomen showed cirrhosis of her liver, from when she used to drink a lot in the past. So the liver specialist didn't like the fact that she was taking Celebrex for the pain from her partially slipped disk in her lumbar.

So we talked to her PCP, and he said we should try Tramadol, but warned that it could cause balance issues, not a good thing with someone with Parkinson's. Well a week in she fell and I asked her point blank if her balance was bad, and she said yes, so back onto the Celebrex.

The CAT scan showed blockage in her left carotid artery, and I'm waiting on a conclusion if that will need a splint or not.

WE were sent to a cardiologist, who has her on a heart monitor as I type.

She's due for a colonoscopy, and she's at high risk since her dad died of colon cancer.

We had a pre-procedure meeting, and I expressed my concern about the prep, since I was worried she would fall trying to get to the bathroom. They had a good answer. De to her multiple health issues, they would want to do the procedure at a hospital anyway, so they could get her a 23 hour "not really an admittance, admittance." so the staff could help her during the prep. + one for the team.

They said they don't want to do that with the heart monitor in place, so that won't happen till September.

Then, the icing on the fucking cake.

My mom turned 99 in January, and has shown cognitive decline for the past year +. Cognitive heart failure, meant her brains wasn't getting enough O2.

We put her in assisted living last December, and in the Spring into the "Memory Unit".

I'm the only sibling local, so I had point on dealing with this. My sisters did as much as they could remotely, but well...



We knew it was a question of time, and that time came last Thursday.

Yesterday, I went to the facility to gather up her personal belongings we wanted to keep. The staff was helpful, and I'm glad my mom spent her last days in a place that genuinely cared for her, not like some of the horror stories one hears about such facilities.

In fact, when I explained why I wanted to take my mom's wheelchair, in case my wife ever needed one, one of the staff took me aside, gave me her card and explained she was also invovled in Parkinson's care, and if I ever needed any help, to give her a call.

Right now, I don't know what to think, other than to seriously look into that shoulder reduction surgery, since the powers that be clearly think mine are way to fucking big.

Here endeth the rant.

Good Lord, man. How much can one person take with all this bad news? You must take some time, no matter how and where to look after yourself as well through all this. Your mental health is under massive strain at the moment. Do not be afraid to ask for some help. I'm sending you all the good vibes I can from across the Atlantic.

 

[AkPatsFan]

Oh fuck, where to start.

This past Spring, the neurology team for my wife's Parkinson's changed and they ordered MRI's.

Turns out she had four small strokes sometimes since 2017 (her last brain MRI).

This is on top of her chronic dislocated shoulder, that had her pain up to a constant 8.

Saw an orthopedic guy who said there weren't many good surgical options, so he referred us to Pain Management people, who did two nerve blocks, which seemed to have helped, bringing the pain down to a steady 2, but ramping up to a 5 or 6 if she moves the shoulder the wrong way.

Anyway, the follow up for the stroke diagnosis, included more MRI's and a CAT scan.

The MRI of her abdomen showed cirrhosis of her liver, from when she used to drink a lot in the past. So the liver specialist didn't like the fact that she was taking Celebrex for the pain from her partially slipped disk in her lumbar.

So we talked to her PCP, and he said we should try Tramadol, but warned that it could cause balance issues, not a good thing with someone with Parkinson's. Well a week in she fell and I asked her point blank if her balance was bad, and she said yes, so back onto the Celebrex.

The CAT scan showed blockage in her left carotid artery, and I'm waiting on a conclusion if that will need a splint or not.

WE were sent to a cardiologist, who has her on a heart monitor as I type.

She's due for a colonoscopy, and she's at high risk since her dad died of colon cancer.

We had a pre-procedure meeting, and I expressed my concern about the prep, since I was worried she would fall trying to get to the bathroom. They had a good answer. De to her multiple health issues, they would want to do the procedure at a hospital anyway, so they could get her a 23 hour "not really an admittance, admittance." so the staff could help her during the prep. + one for the team.

They said they don't want to do that with the heart monitor in place, so that won't happen till September.

Then, the icing on the fucking cake.

My mom turned 99 in January, and has shown cognitive decline for the past year +. Cognitive heart failure, meant her brains wasn't getting enough O2.

We put her in assisted living last December, and in the Spring into the "Memory Unit".

I'm the only sibling local, so I had point on dealing with this. My sisters did as much as they could remotely, but well...



We knew it was a question of time, and that time came last Thursday.

Yesterday, I went to the facility to gather up her personal belongings we wanted to keep. The staff was helpful, and I'm glad my mom spent her last days in a place that genuinely cared for her, not like some of the horror stories one hears about such facilities.

In fact, when I explained why I wanted to take my mom's wheelchair, in case my wife ever needed one, one of the staff took me aside, gave me her card and explained she was also invovled in Parkinson's care, and if I ever needed any help, to give her a call.

Right now, I don't know what to think, other than to seriously look into that shoulder reduction surgery, since the powers that be clearly think mine are way to fucking big.

Here endeth the rant.

Very sorry to hear this O_P_T, this getting old thing is not for the timid. Wishing nothing but the best of outcomes for you and yours.

 

[AkPatsFan]

As some of you may know from a post I posted last year about my mom having dementia, it's slowly progressing to the point that now we are going to have to put her in a home (Southridge in Biddeford) where she will be with her sister and closer to several of her other sisters. This hasn't been an easy task since I am located so far away from her but we are doing what she wants and what we think is best for her. We are getting some push back from my brother and her partner of over 40 years, they want her to live in a home closer to them (Lewiston) but this isn't about them and I can't seem to get that through their heads. Anyways, we are pushing forward and she is going into Southridge possibly this week, it will be comforting to know that she is being taken care of and is closer to her immediate family where they can visit her more often than when she lived in Litchfield. I figured I'd give an update and share it with the group.

We are back to square one again, mom went to South Ridge about 2 weeks ago and was having a good time with her sister, she was planning on staying there until my brother went to write the check to pay for her stay there, then she had an instantaneous change of heart and refused to stay so they brought her home. She's seen several dr's in the last few weeks and they found something wrong with her blood but I have no idea of what it is, only that it may be what's causing her memory issues. No idea of that is true or not but that would be a blessing if it was and they could get her on some meds to get it straightened out. We will be there on the 16th for a quick visit so I hope to have more answers and get some things done for her before we return to Alaska.

 

[ParanoidPatriot]

Oh fuck, where to start.

This past Spring, the neurology team for my wife's Parkinson's changed and they ordered MRI's.

Turns out she had four small strokes sometimes since 2017 (her last brain MRI).

This is on top of her chronic dislocated shoulder, that had her pain up to a constant 8.

Saw an orthopedic guy who said there weren't many good surgical options, so he referred us to Pain Management people, who did two nerve blocks, which seemed to have helped, bringing the pain down to a steady 2, but ramping up to a 5 or 6 if she moves the shoulder the wrong way.

Anyway, the follow up for the stroke diagnosis, included more MRI's and a CAT scan.

The MRI of her abdomen showed cirrhosis of her liver, from when she used to drink a lot in the past. So the liver specialist didn't like the fact that she was taking Celebrex for the pain from her partially slipped disk in her lumbar.

So we talked to her PCP, and he said we should try Tramadol, but warned that it could cause balance issues, not a good thing with someone with Parkinson's. Well a week in she fell and I asked her point blank if her balance was bad, and she said yes, so back onto the Celebrex.

The CAT scan showed blockage in her left carotid artery, and I'm waiting on a conclusion if that will need a splint or not.

WE were sent to a cardiologist, who has her on a heart monitor as I type.

She's due for a colonoscopy, and she's at high risk since her dad died of colon cancer.

We had a pre-procedure meeting, and I expressed my concern about the prep, since I was worried she would fall trying to get to the bathroom. They had a good answer. De to her multiple health issues, they would want to do the procedure at a hospital anyway, so they could get her a 23 hour "not really an admittance, admittance." so the staff could help her during the prep. + one for the team.

They said they don't want to do that with the heart monitor in place, so that won't happen till September.

Then, the icing on the fucking cake.

My mom turned 99 in January, and has shown cognitive decline for the past year +. Cognitive heart failure, meant her brains wasn't getting enough O2.

We put her in assisted living last December, and in the Spring into the "Memory Unit".

I'm the only sibling local, so I had point on dealing with this. My sisters did as much as they could remotely, but well...



We knew it was a question of time, and that time came last Thursday.

Yesterday, I went to the facility to gather up her personal belongings we wanted to keep. The staff was helpful, and I'm glad my mom spent her last days in a place that genuinely cared for her, not like some of the horror stories one hears about such facilities.

In fact, when I explained why I wanted to take my mom's wheelchair, in case my wife ever needed one, one of the staff took me aside, gave me her card and explained she was also invovled in Parkinson's care, and if I ever needed any help, to give her a call.

Right now, I don't know what to think, other than to seriously look into that shoulder reduction surgery, since the powers that be clearly think mine are way to fucking big.

Here endeth the rant.

Wow. If I tried to tell someone all of this, they wouldn't believe me.
You are due a break, or 2, or 3, sometime.
Best wishes to you and your wife.

 

[O_P_T]

You my friend are a hero ((((hugs)))) your wife is in good hands!


~Dee~

First, thanks Dee, and everyone else who has sent positive waves.

But I'm a bit perplexed by Dee's comment.

BTW, she's not alone. I have had multiple women, who we've encountered in this long strange trip, who damn near put me on a pedestal, for my strong support for my wife, as a patient advocate. Be it health care providers, typically nurses or Physician Assistants, or other women we encountered in the numerous visits to the ER, DRs. office, etc.

I don't mean to have this come across as a boast, but I got the strong impression of "envy" from many of these women. That they didn't have such support from the significant others in their life, or that such behavior by a man with regards to his wife/girlfriend/significant other was not the norm.

Excuse me?

Whiskey!

Tango!

Foxtrot!

Really?

I am the outlier with regards to how men behave?

Oh Christ, if true, I weep for our civilization.

IMHO, if a man is to be considered a MAN, and fuck the transgender bullshit, what I am doing for my wife in the minimal required effort to garner that title.

Thank god, I don't have to stand between my wife and an invading horde, and defend her, and die for her if necessary, but what I am doing for her as a health advocate may be as close an equivalent in our society.

The fact that this is viewed as unusual and extraordinary.... FUCK!

 

[AkPatsFan]

First, thanks Dee, and everyone else who has sent positive waves.

But I'm a bit perplexed by Dee's comment.

BTW, she's not alone. I have had multiple women, who we've encountered in this long strange trip, who damn near put me on a pedestal, for my strong support for my wife, as a patient advocate. Be it health care providers, typically nurses or Physician Assistants, or other women we encountered in the numerous visits to the ER, DRs. office, etc.

I don't mean to have this come across as a boast, but I got the strong impression of "envy" from many of these women. That they didn't have such support from the significant others in their life, or that such behavior by a man with regards to his wife/girlfriend/significant other was not the norm.

Excuse me?

Whiskey!

Tango!

Foxtrot!

Really?

I am the outlier with regards to how men behave?

Oh Christ, if true, I weep for our civilization.

IMHO, if a man is to be considered a MAN, and fuck the transgender bullshit, what I am doing for my wife in the minimal required effort to garner that title.

Thank god, I don't have to stand between my wife and an invading horde, and defend her, and die for her if necessary, but what I am doing for her as a health advocate may be as close an equivalent in our society.

The fact that this is viewed as unusual and extraordinary.... FUCK!

Not at all O_P_T, you are not alone when it comes how a man should treat his significant other.

 

[HSanders]

We are back to square one again, mom went to South Ridge about 2 weeks ago and was having a good time with her sister, she was planning on staying there until my brother went to write the check to pay for her stay there, then she had an instantaneous change of heart and refused to stay so they brought her home. She's seen several dr's in the last few weeks and they found something wrong with her blood but I have no idea of what it is, only that it may be what's causing her memory issues. No idea of that is true or not but that would be a blessing if it was and they could get her on some meds to get it straightened out. We will be there on the 16th for a quick visit so I hope to have more answers and get some things done for her before we return to Alaska.

hope everything works out for the best. this part where you need to be a "parent" to your parents can be tough sledding.

 

[deec77]

First, thanks Dee, and everyone else who has sent positive waves.

But I'm a bit perplexed by Dee's comment.

BTW, she's not alone. I have had multiple women, who we've encountered in this long strange trip, who damn near put me on a pedestal, for my strong support for my wife, as a patient advocate. Be it health care providers, typically nurses or Physician Assistants, or other women we encountered in the numerous visits to the ER, DRs. office, etc.

I don't mean to have this come across as a boast, but I got the strong impression of "envy" from many of these women. That they didn't have such support from the significant others in their life, or that such behavior by a man with regards to his wife/girlfriend/significant other was not the norm.

Excuse me?

Whiskey!

Tango!

Foxtrot!

Really?

I am the outlier with regards to how men behave?

Oh Christ, if true, I weep for our civilization.

IMHO, if a man is to be considered a MAN, and fuck the transgender bullshit, what I am doing for my wife in the minimal required effort to garner that title.

Thank god, I don't have to stand between my wife and an invading horde, and defend her, and die for her if necessary, but what I am doing for her as a health advocate may be as close an equivalent in our society.

The fact that this is viewed as unusual and extraordinary.... FUCK!

I’ll tell you why because you sense your wife’s needs without being told and act accordingly …. Not thinking not about your needs …. Now most men or should I say some men wouldn’t sense the need but would act after they were told about said need. The younger 40 something generation of men aren’t the same as older generations So you’re in good company but the younger generation on both sides are spoiled …

~Dee~

 

[deec77]

We are back to square one again, mom went to South Ridge about 2 weeks ago and was having a good time with her sister, she was planning on staying there until my brother went to write the check to pay for her stay there, then she had an instantaneous change of heart and refused to stay so they brought her home. She's seen several dr's in the last few weeks and they found something wrong with her blood but I have no idea of what it is, only that it may be what's causing her memory issues. No idea of that is true or not but that would be a blessing if it was and they could get her on some meds to get it straightened out. We will be there on the 16th for a quick visit so I hope to have more answers and get some things done for her before we return to Alaska.

Sorry it hard taking care of parents you are always in my thoughts…

~Dee~