Waaaay off-topic: share your most memorable vomiting experiences

pookie

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Hawg73 said:

He continued to plead his case until the monster got too strong and would not stay in it's cage. His viscous gorge escaped his shocked mouth like a mighty river overflowing it's banks and hit the back of her head with near whiplash-inducing velocity.

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His buddy - being a sub-standard wing man - let him go on his own


OMG Hawg! I laughed. I cried. I gagged and wretched. What a funny frickin' story chief! Have you noticed that with each passing day, the posts in this thread are becoming more and more descriptive in their explaining the angle, force, or contents of the vomit?

Steve's visual of the shepard's pie made me cringe. I couldn't imagine the corn, ground beef and mashed (school style) potatoes making a hurried exit from my duodenum! Wonderfully yukky!
 

Steve1

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DISCLAMER: Gross content within

Pookie, I only wish my acidic shepard's pie exited through my anal sphinctor, instead of through my pyloric sphinctor. And boy, that bile in my duodenum was smokin'!
 

bruschifan1

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Does nine continuous months of barfing morning, noon, and night, so that the memory is blended into one big puke fest count....?!

And yes, I even had a second child after all that!!


I'll give details of my most memorable hurls later... now, I'm off to the gym!
 

dropKickMurphy

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bruschifan1 said:
Does nine continuous months of barfing morning, noon, and night, so that the memory is blended into one big puke fest count....?!

Great. Just when we thought we had a manly topic going here, you have to come along and remind us of what wimps we guys really are! Thanks for deflating our egos.
 
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Hawg73

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DropKick just reminded me.

We have yet another cousin who was once the top salesman for a large computer company and won a vacation for he and his wife to stay at an actual castle in Italy.

One of the things his company did for him was provide them with a horse drawn carriage ride from the castle to a first class restaraunt where they filled up on pasta and a couple of bottles of wine.

They made it back to the Castle in one piece but they were climbing the stairs leading to their chamber when my cousin's wife began to get the cold sweats.

Fearing the worst, she told him that she couldn't make it and frantically looked for somewhere to deposit her steaming tummy custard.

To the rescue, my cousin removed the helmet from an genuine suit of armor and his wife inverted it and very delicately - since she is a lady, gacked into it.

Any port in a storm.
 

Steve1

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Oh yeah, and you just reminded me

Just about 3 weeks ago, I barfed. Now, hear-ye hear-ye: will anyone admit that they have puked in the last 2 weeks? I was on vacation on Cape Cod (yeah, it's not the summer, but it was still okay), and at the end of a long drive, we stopped for some takeout to bring back to the condo. There was a Chinese place next to a pizza and sandwich joint. They (you know, my loved ones), picked the sandwich place. I got sweet and sour chicken from the Chinese resturant. Well, it was actually excellent. Not too greasy at all, and all white meat. It didn't even need the sauce. It was SO good. Just what the doctor ordered. Everybody liked it! No problems, definitely no heaving that night.

A couple of nights later, I'm getting bored, and I decide to get some more sweet and sour chicken. I wasn't feeling all that good that day. So, I drive off to find that Chinese place. But, right when I got to the main drag (route 28), I notice another Chinese place right there. ISN'T THIS AN EXCITING STORY? I ordered the chicken, some fried rice, and I forget what else. I went back to the condo. I don't think I was even hungry. What a friggin' pig. Well, I took out a piece of sweet and sour chicken, and took a bite. It kind of sucked. Very greasy, and tough breading. And the chicken was awful. But Steve had to eat some more, because, it's there. I pigged. YUMMY-not.

The next day, we drove off to the Cape Cod mall. Now I'm pretty much a jerk, in that, I have to drive. Oh, no, not my wife. That would be too much to take. As we are driving I said about 4 times "I don't feel very good". My wife said about 3 times, why don't you just pull over, and throw up? Do you want me to drive? Response: "No, I'm okay". We get to the mall, and I don't even go in. I just stayed in the car, and tried to feel better. They come back in about an hour and a half, and my daughter wants to go somewhere special. But my wife drives off and says "No, dad doesn't feel good, we're going back to the condo". So we get back, and (drumroll please!) I threw up for about five minutes. You know, like when it is very acidic, and it goes up your nose too, and you know it is going to sting, and your nasal passages will be all stuffed up for about 2 hours?

For everyones info, do not go to the Chinese place in Falmouth across from the Stop and Shop. You will pay
 

Steve1

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One more time.....

Here's a good one. When I was about 12, my friend's parents drove us and another friend to Rocky Point. That is an amusement park in Warwick Rhode Island-great for kids. Everybody in Rhode Island since like 1920 knows about Rocky Point. It closed down a few years ago , though. Not enough customers, I guess.

We went on some rides, and had a good time. Then came the clam cakes and soda. Now these Rocky Point clamcackes were a staple there. You had to have some, with some chowder, or you can't really say or think that you went to Rocky Point. Now, isn't THIS a great, enthrawling story. But we all do know how it ends, don't we. You see, these clamcakes never had any clams in them, or at least only had this tiny, little, real hard bits of clams, maybe 5 per clamcake. No matter, let's all pig out.

As my friend's parents are driving home (only 20 minutes away), I'm sitting in the back seat. Remember Dave, from my school-puking story? Yup, He was there too. But he didn't get puked on this time. No, this time I said "I feel really sick, I think I'm going to throw up. Mr. Beetle (that's right, Mr. Beetle), Al's father, said "okay, just open up the window, and throw up!" I added the !, because if you are driving foward (or backwards) at about 35 mph, you don't really want anyone puking out your windows. Guess what? I threw up all over the back seat, and on myself! And Mr.and Mrs. Beetle actually said "that's alright Steve, we'll clean it up later". Nice people. And a never-forgotten story.

Fast foward to about 3-4 years later. You know how you and your friends may have had too much to drink on a constant basis, and puked in buckets, and stuff like that? Yup, that was me, Brian, Al and Dave.

And I am now a pillar of society, and a big Patriot's fan, to boot!
 
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Hawg73

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Steve, don't worry about sharing your puke stories. They're fine. I liked the one from school in particular. There is something about the social pressure in a place like that which makes puking somehow good entertainment. It's the sheer relief that your story didn't happen to me that makes me enjoy reading it.

I got curious enough to see if there was any precedent on the web for this sort of thing, and sure enough there are bunches of sites that collect puke stories and in browsing around a bit the stories here put most of them to shame.

I'm mainly just happy that other people saw fit to participate in this godforsaken thread. Not one of my better ideas.
 

Mr3putt

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After spending a miserable day at a trade show I decided to stop and enjoy the "Ballet" at the Million Dollar Saloon.

After many beers a young lady sat down and discovering she was a fellow former Umass Amherst student we hit it off big time.

Tequila shots followed and after a brief interlude in the parking lot I pointed the renal car toward the hotel. Heading up the Dallas Tollway I approached the booth fumbling for change....
The woman manning the booth watched with amusment as I searched then found the appropriate combination....I activated the power window but just as I was to pay the nut a wave of nausea hit and out poured a stream of pure Tequila puke filling the change basket.

As her expression turned from amused to horrified I recovered enough to smile and say......Keep the change:D


Disclaimer....you should never drink and drive
 

P4E

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EASTER BREAK 2002.

it was at my sister's looking after her house 4 a week while she went on vacation with her partner.so as the story goes my pal the nature boy(his nickname very very long story)came up with his usuall mix of poision's and asked if would like one of his party boy classic shakes so been the biggest dumbass ever i accepted.

he forget 2 tell me that he put in the following drinks

brandy
martini(horrible drink)
vodka
a touch of malt whisky
orange(how nice of him)
and the finally milk

so i went a head and drunk it

lets just say after i drunk it i hit the floor straight away,and according 2 my friend woke up in a hospital bed,i still cant remember what happened 2 this very day.


CHILDREN DO NOT AND I REPEAT DO NOT DRINK.
 

mikiemo83

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as a real young 16 y.o., I made the mistake of drinking a bottle of vodka with only powdered Koolaid poured directly in - no water in - a half hour

Passed out in my buddies living room....sorry white living room.... and got so sick, I hit a friend 6' away in the back - projectile is being nice. A red stream of Koolaid colored vodka across the room, hitting the couch, rug, tables... and a few other things not to mention my friend while he was talking to a chick..

the best part of the story was the two girls (including the one my friend was chatting with) taking care of me all night... yup showered me, dressed me.. placed me in bed.... alone
 

Undertaker #59*

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How did it taste though? The drink I mean, before you had too much of it?
 

mikiemo83

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Undertaker #59 on 04-02-2007 at 02:00 PM said:
How did it taste though? The drink I mean, before you had too much of it?
add enough kool aid flavor and you can hide anything. The thing is it stains, especially when combined with stomach Bile and is difficult to remove
 

RoadGrader

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Undertaker #59 on 04-02-2007 at 02:00 PM said:
How did it taste though? The drink I mean, before you had too much of it?
as the voice of experience I can say emphatically never

never
never
never
never
never
never
never

ever

mix gin and strawberry soda

ever
 

TrueBeliever

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This one's kinda funny.

It was the summer of 1995, I was 19, my summer job was over and a friend was hosting a party where he had ordered that Tyson fight where it was his first one after getting out of prison or something. (The one that ended after like 90 seconds because the other fighter's manager jumped in the ring.) I was in the mood to get stupid drunk and boy, did I.

We had a ton of beer, and a lot of different kinds. In the cooler were one or two six-packs of Red Wolf, and somewhere along the line I put down several bottles of the stuff. Later on someone uncorked a bottle of red wine and started passing it around, and I tossed back a little more than my share.

An hour or so later my stomach said, "F*** this" and I found myself in the bathroom. Being blitzed off my arse and having drank so much red-colored booze, I saw red-tinged vomit in the bowl and thought, "Oh my God! I'm puking up blood! I'm gonna DIE!!!"
 

Redsoxfan57

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I had the flu one time and ate some pizza from Pizza Hut that had black olives on it. Needless to say when I upchucked I blew black olives out and believe me they tasted no better coming back up then they did going down. To this day I will occassionally break my own personal rule of thumb and eat a few but I try to avoid black olives like a bad habit.:Redsox:
 

patswin

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Man, I had an experience that stayed with me to this day.
I was about 21 or 22 at the time. My friend and his wife had a rented house, and a bunch of us would often congregate over there.
One stinking hot and humid July night we were sitting there sweating and decided to play Monopoly. The game begins and Doug (our host) decides to whip up a large batch of frozen Pina Coladas. Being so hot, the frozen drinks were damned refreshing. I sucked one down in a gulp or two, and immediately started another. That went down fast also. I had a third, and a fourth in a about a ten minute span, and then started to feel pretty well toasted... after about 15 minutes I knew two things... I was pretty well ripped, and I was gonna blow dinner. I staggered out the front door and crawled into the front seat of my car, and passed out lying across the seat, face down. I woke up to the impending volcanic eruption, and simply opened the car door, stuck my head out and hurled right there on the ground, after which I shut the door passed out again for an unknown amount of time. I awoke to the sound of the car door opening, and my brother commenting on my condition. He opened the glove box to get a pack of smokes, and I heard him say.. "hey, did iit rain out or somethin?" He had no shoes on!
It was a clear night. I started laughing and said "Hey, you're standing in my dinner buddy!".
He immediately grossed out and the guy he was with cracked up.
I passed out again.

'Twas about all I can recall of that night. I can tell you that I have never again had a Pina Colada, 26 years and counting, and even seeing one on a menu reminds me of that night!
 

patsin??

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i had eaten about 5 bags of sweedish fish on xmas and game home and puked under the xmas tree! great gift, very red too
 

gomezcat

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Off the top of my head, puking outside my own tent at Reading Rock Festival in England was probably my best one. I don't remember a thing about that night (and there is a LOT I won't tell you here), but the reminder was there in the morning. I threw up and apparently crawled through my own vomit on the way to bed. In fact, I know I did that because my combat trousers were covered in sick when I woke up the next day. That was also possibly the worst hangover I have ever had. A mate and I shared a bottle of tequila and a bottle of vodka, having had a fair bit to drink in the pub already. F*ck, I feel ill, thinking about it.
 

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*mikiemo83 on 04-02-2007 at 05:36 PM said:
as a real young 16 y.o., I made the mistake of drinking a bottle of vodka with only powdered Koolaid poured directly in - no water in - a half hour

Passed out in my buddies living room....sorry white living room.... and got so sick, I hit a friend 6' away in the back - projectile is being nice. A red stream of Koolaid colored vodka across the room, hitting the couch, rug, tables... and a few other things not to mention my friend while he was talking to a chick..

the best part of the story was the two girls (including the one my friend was chatting with) taking care of me all night... yup showered me, dressed me.. placed me in bed.... alone

Superb! Only a 16 year old does stuff like that. :D
 
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