Entirely Stupid Superbowl Stats

[Stevo]

There is one teamed with a religious theme
Saints
They have won no Super Bowls

They're are 4 teams named after cats,
Bengals
Jaguars
Panthers
Lions
none have ever won a Superbowl

There are five teams named after birds
Falcons
Cardinals
Eagles
Ravens
Seahawks
They have combined to win 1 Superbowl

There are 3 teams named after Non-feline Mammals
Buffalo
Dolphins
Rams
3 Superbowls

There are 2 teams named after pirates
Raiders
Buccaneers
They have one 3 Super Bowls

There are 3 Teams with reference to Horses
Broncos
Colts
Chargers
4 Super Bowls

There are 4 teams named after things for no discernible reason
Giants
Titans
Texans
Jets
4 super bowls,

There are 2 teams with names that reference Native Americans
Chiefs
Redskins
4 Super Bowls

And here's the big one
There are 5 teams named after historic regional stereotypes
Steelers
Cowboys
49ers
Packers
Patriots
They have combined for 22 Super Bowls

What can we learn from this?

1. God doesn't watch football, or perhaps does not enjoy people trying to suck up to him to win.....could be either one

2. Cats may seem bad ass, but in the end they make your team play like.....men of sub average virtue

3. Birds of Prey may also seem bad ass, but it's important to remember they are mostly endangered and have hollow bones.

4. Number of Super Bowls won by your team is some how inversely proportional to how bad ass the horse you're named after is.

5. If possible name your team something offensive to indigenous people, perhaps the "Eskimo Seal Clubbers", and should in the least be offensive to some one

6. Make sure it's a regional reference your fan base can take pride in, but is universally despised outside of it

With that Mind, I propse a couple name changes

The Oakland Deucshe Bags
The Miami Coke Trafficers
The Cleveland Drew Carey's
The Minnesota Sending a post card of a lake to your family while passing through
The Houston Fat Asses

Welcome to the Off season

-Steve

P.S. I'm aware that the vikings are probably a regional stereo type....I don't care

 

[pigsonthewing]

The Oakland Deucshe Bags
The Miami Coke Trafficers
The Cleveland Drew Carey's
The Minnesota Sending a post card of a lake to your family while passing through
The Houston Fat Asses

Welcome to the Off season

-Steve

P.S. I'm aware that the vikings are probably a regional stereo type....I don't care


Since Minnesota also has gone 0-4 in SB history, I agree that they don't warrant a regional sterotype, unless you would want to call them the Minnesota Hosers. But then that might upset our Canadian neighbors.