TB's attempt at "Brushback" humor, part 3

TrueBeliever

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I wrote this earlier this week when the real story first came out, then forgot about it. Sorry if it's a bit out of date thusly.

Terrell Owens signs, slams contract extension with Cowboys

Controversial wide receiver Terrell Owens today signed a contract extension that will keep with him with the Dallas Cowboys until 2011. The team issued a statement indicating the deal includes a $12.9 million signing bonus and is worth $34 million over the next four years.

Immediately after the statement was released, Owens staged a press conference disparaging his new agreement with the team.

“I am deeply offended,” Owens told reporters. “The contract I was offered, and then signed, was insulting. This deal ensures I will remain a Dallas Cowboy through 2011, and I regard it as a slap in the face.

“All I want is to be paid what I’m worth. The Cowboys are leaving me no alternative but to seek out a new contract that better represents my worth now, not what it was 25 minutes ago.”

Owens was joined at the conference by his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, who reiterated his client’s stance.

“For the Cowboys to agree to this contract with my client is unbelievable,” a visibly angry Rosenhaus said. “From the start, I made it clear that Terrell was worth far more than the terms of his old contract. And now for them to make us this offer and have us sign it is just… words can’t express how disrespectful this mutual agreement is.”

When asked why Owens would sign a contract he so strongly disagreed with, Rosenhaus simply responded, “Next question.”

Owens did not answer further questions as he was tearfully doing push-ups for the remainder of the conference.

Not my best work, but I do what I can.
 
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