Night Befo’ Crizzmus
Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin', and da sleepin' be good.
We hunged up our stockins, an’ hoped like all heck,
dat dear Ol' Obama's gunna brang us our checks.
All of da family was ly'in down der on the flo’,
my sister wif her gurlfriend, and my brother wif some ho.
Dem ashtrays was all full , empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."****, it must be da law".
I pulled the sheet off da winder, and what I'ze could see,
I was ‘spectin' the sheriff wif a warrant fo' me.
But what did I see made me say, "Laaawd, look at dat.”
Dere was a huge watermelon pulled by eight big-ass rats.
Now over all of da years Santy Claws, he be white,
but it looks like us brothas got a black ‘un tonight.
Faster than a po-lees car my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats as he called dem by name.
On Biden, on Jessie, Polosi, and Hillary, you,
On Fannie, on Freddi, on Ayers, and Slick Willy, too.
Obama landed dat melon right there in da street,
I knowed it fo' sho' - can you believe that Sh'eet!.
“Ol’ Santy didn't need no chimney;
he picked da lock on my doe,
an’ I sez to myself, "Son o' bitch...he done did dis befoe"!
He had a big bag full of presents
at first I suspeck.
Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold
to wear roun’ my neck.
But he left me no presents, just started stealin’ my shit.
He got my guns and my crack and my new burgler’s kit.
Den wif my crap in his bag, out da winder he flew,
I sho' woulda shanked him, be he snagged my knife, too.
He jumped back on dat melon wifout even a hitch,
and waz gone in two seconds "Democrat son of a bitch".
So nex’ year I be hopin' a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws just ain't worf a shit!!!!
