Buffalo Bills Karma Thread - Done and Done, South of Boston

[gomezcat]

Well, folks, y'all think we're in the playoffs with a week off and home field advantage? Wroooooonnnnnggggg!!!! After Sunday's abject travesty of a performance, the most awful division winners ever are banned from the playoffs.

Things don't start well when Kraft orders the team to rest their starters. BB misinterprets his boss' s instructions, which are "to rest players who normally start at their given position".

Tom Brady is started at Nose Tackle and doesn't have a great game. In fact, he is destroyed on the first play and retires from football to tend to his hair. Jimmy Gruffalo has an equally bad game at End when he is launched into space (having been blocked so hard) and burns up in the atmosphere.

Bernard Pollard, hastily signed by the Bills pre-game, takes out the entire offence on one play with various knee shots. Meanwhile, on O, Kyle Orton goes wild and torches the defensive backfield of Branch, Siliga, Wendell and Gronk. Everyone thinks Gronk will be safe there until Bernard Pollard shows up at wideout and "accidentally" trips up and chops his legs off with an "unfortunately placed" scythe.

The Pats are so incompetent that Goodell, the highly impartial commissioner who is coincidentally wearing a Jets jersey, hastily convenes a committee. The committee's highly objective remit, to decide on the punishment for the obviously guilty Pats, means they can fully and independently investigate the Pats. After convening for ten seconds, they strip the Pats of their title and playoff place as "those cheating cheaters must have been cheating".

Final score: Bills - trillions
Pats - South of Heaven
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[MinuteCat]

Well, folks, y'all think we're in the playoffs with a week off and home field advantage? Wroooooonnnnnggggg!!!! After Sunday's abject travesty of a performance, the most awful division winners ever are banned from the playoffs.

Things don't start well when Kraft orders the team to rest their starters. BB misinterprets his boss' s instructions, which are "to rest players who normally start at their given position".

Tom Brady is started at Nose Tackle and doesn't have a great game. In fact, he is destroyed on the first play and retires from football to tend to his hair. Jimmy Gruffalo has an equally bad game at End when he is launched into space (having been blocked so hard) and burns up in the atmosphere.

Bernard Pollard, hastily signed by the Bills pre-game, takes out the entire offence on one play with various knee shots. Meanwhile, on O, Kyle Orton goes wild and torches the defensive backfield of Branch, Siliga, Wendell and Gronk. Everyone thinks Gronk will be safe there until Bernard Pollard shows up at wideout and "accidentally" trips up and chops his legs off with an "unfortunately placed" scythe.

The Pats are so incompetent that Goodell, the highly impartial commissioner who is coincidentally wearing a Jets jersey, hastily convenes a committee. The committee's highly objective remit, to decide on the punishment for the obviously guilty Pats, means they can fully and independently investigate the Pats. After convening for ten seconds, they strip the Pats of their title and playoff place as "those cheating cheaters must have been cheating".

Final score: Bills - trillions
Pats - South of Heaven
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You had me there until you put "Kyle Orton" and "torches" in the same sentence.

 

[Michigan Dave]

Garoppolo rolls the shit tier Bills in a meaningless exhibition. Buffalo isn't a threat even when we don't give a shit. Pats by 24.

 

[gomezcat]

You had me there until you put "Kyle Orton" and "torches" in the same sentence.

Damn, I guess that is a bit unrealistic. The rest will happen though. ...
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[PatsFanLisa]

Garoppolo rolls the shit tier Bills in a meaningless exhibition. Buffalo isn't a threat even when we don't give a shit. Pats by 24.

Once. I mean, just once can't you do it right?

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[imapig]

Once. I mean, just once can't you do it right?

View attachment 94708

I'm guess Dave is not a follower, but a leader...


ROFL

 

[ParanoidPatriot]

Once. I mean, just once can't you do it right?

View attachment 94708

What do you mean by "it" PFL?ROFL

 

[gomezcat]

Scuse me. This is my stupid thread about a meaningless game. Can't you lot bugger off and talk about baseball or grits or something?
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[NSPatsFan]

Well boys, it's been a good run, but we all knew it had to end sometime.

The Bills will come out fired up with team leader and all-around great guy Brandon Spikes leading the way, Belichick will start all of our key players. In a wrinkle he wants to test out for the playoffs he puts Revis on offense at WR.

On his first play from scrimmage he's shoved by Brandon Spikes and trips over Gronk's leg landing on Brady's. All three players have blown out all their collateral ligaments plus a few amortization ligaments and two or three dividend ligaments putting their status for the playoffs somewhat in doubt.

Spikes then picks up the ball for a scoop and score and the Bills go on to beat the Pats so bad the NFL actually awards the first game they played in the season to the Bills as well, making Spikes' pre-season prediction of the Bills sweeping the Patriots come true.

Final Score
Those Mighty Buffalo Wings Flyin High Bills: A Whole Hell of a Lot.
Those Cheatin Patsies: Not Nearly Enough.