daedge
Member
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2007
- Messages
- 616
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 18
- Age
- 38
- Location
- New Zealand
- Website
- www.coltfreaks.com
This was posted at Coltfreaks and thought I would share it here !! Its a good laugh and makes fun of Polian which Im sure all Pat fans will like.
ColtFreaks resident asshole GoBigBlue88 recently sat down with Indianapolis Colts General Manager Bill Polian to discuss the 2008-09 football season and 23-17 postseason loss to the San Diego Chargers.
Q: The Colts ranked 31st in run offense at the end of the season. The Colts did not run the ball well at San Diego. How do you feel about the Colts' run offense?
Well, it's a matter of perception vs. reality. The perception is that we can't run the ball. But the reality is, we're too good to run the ball. You see, the pundits out there, the prognosticators, they will tell you that we cannot run the ball, that we rank at the bottom of the league in run offense. But what they don't know because they're not here at the practice facility every day and not in the film room or coach meetings, is that we are simply too good to run the ball, so we don't. If we wanted to run the ball, we could. But we really don't want to run the ball, and we won't cater to the pundits.
Q: The Colts have long had problems with 3rd-and-short. What are your feelings on those situations?
We need to get better. I make no qualms about that, we need to improve. Now, will we do this by drafting a running back who can actually push a pile? Probably not. Will we do this by adding offensive linesmen who can actually push defenders off the ball? Certainly not. Why? Because linesmen can only pass block or run block - again, this is something talking heads do not understand, as they do their power rankings and whatnot. You either get linemen who can run block or pass block, and there is not a lineman in the league that can do both. So how will we improve, then? Well, it's quite simple to anyone who knows football. We will find another defensive tackle who is only marginally competent at fullback, and we will put him in on those packages. We will never draft an actual fullback, because we don't need to, it's not our philosophy. But we'll find a defensive tackle who takes all of his snaps at fullback, and it will make much more sense that way.
Q: But a pass play on 3rd-and-2, on what essentially was a game-clinching play had it been executed correctly? An empty backfield?
We listen to one voice, and one voice only - Tony Dungy.
Q: And what was that voice saying on that play?
Oh, Dungy? He was actually not on the sidelines at that time. He was at Guest Relations, asking for directions back to the hotel so he could get a head start on his week of career rumination.
Q: So who made the call?
Some guy named Garth in Section 103. He seemed like a nice enough fellow. That's what distinguishes us from certain other franchises: we do it the right way. Is it always pretty? Of course not. But there's this perception that every game should be a 35-0 blowout and that's simply untrue. We would much rather lose 23-17 with a collection of esteemed, respectable individuals at the helm than win 35-0 with those lacking any semblance of reputability. So you have a guy like Garth make that call, because he's a good man, and that's how we do things in this organization.
Q: Now the Colts head back to Indianapolis with a long offseason ahead. What do you tell the team?
Simply put, we shouldn't be heading home. Not because of our play, of course. But because of a certain questionable call made in the third week of the regular season. If certain questionable calls are called correctly - and I'll have to look at the tape again, but I'm pretty sure the official who called said questionable penalty is a goddamn blind man - then we're hosting a playoff game next week. That's how you have to look at it, really. We should be hosting a playoff game next week, and that's the important part. Instead, we're not, and it's not due to poor play or anything of that ilk, but rather due to a questionable call.
Q: So you don't think the Colts played poorly in their loss to San Diego?
Well, you have to tip your hats to them. Boy, that Darren Sproles is fast. Of course, we knew that going in. We've known that the last three times we've played. But we didn't do anything about it, because it's not what we do. By that, of course, I mean that the talking heads would have us do the opposite of what we do - which is not wrap up ballcarriers, take good pursuit angles or contain the backside cut - and we all know that those prognosticators don't know anything more about football than a sixpence knows about a jitney spent on a Sunday morning trolly ride to Levittown.
Q: What the hell does that even mean?
Sometimes, I'm not even sure.
Q: Did the team ever plan on accounting for All-Pro tight end Antonio Gates?
I feel like we did, for the most part. We held him to wide-open 10-yard gains down the middle instead of semi-open 20-yard gains down the middle. That's important. It, of course, takes ten 10-yard gains to get a touchdown, as opposed to only five 20-yard gains, assuming the team somehow starts at the goal-line. So you have to ask yourself, what would you rather have: a 5-play scoring drive, or a 10-play scoring drive? We did a good job not allowing 5-play scoring drives from the goal line.
Q: But you never had them pinned back on the goal line...
And that's the way the ball bounces sometimes. Sometimes, it bounces out at the one after an expertly-placed punt. Sometimes, you outkick your coverage team a good 30 yards and allow Darren Sproles to run 20 yards before he's even touched. It's really a matter of luck, and Old Lady Luck sure wasn't smiling down on us when it came to holding teams to 10-play scoring drives from the goal line.
Q: Your thoughts on Bob Sanders?
Of course, you know we had been saving him for the postseason, resting him up so he could compete at a high level in January and February. And I think he did. He really engaged blockers well. He showed great speed diving at ballcarriers. Did he miss almost every time? Yes, but it wasn't for lack of trying. Boy, you can't say enough about Bob Sanders. He only plays five gaves in the regular season, and look how hard he plays out there. He runs by ballcarriers with blazing speed. He gets absorbed by wide receivers on off-tackle runs about as well as anyone I've ever seen. You can't say enough about a guy like Bob Sanders. He changes the game, in that he makes no difference whatsoever in the game.
Q: Your thoughts on Tony Dungy returning to coach the Colts next year?
As we say, we only listen to one voice. Garth. And Garth says that Tony Dungy should return, and we expect that. Of course, Garth is a five-year-old boy from Torrey Pines who was only at the game because his parents couldn't find a babysitter. I had to wake him up from his nap to ask him for the third-down playcall, and truthfully, he came off as kind of slow. I wouldn't say retarded necessarily, but definitely slow, developmentally-disabled if you will. He was a cranky customer. But he clearly said "Ummy" when I asked if Tony should return, and though pundits would translate that to "yummy", I believe he was referring to "Dungy." The fact that he laughed and clapped his hands and insisted on flying Quantis only served to reinforce this fact.
Q: Most of what you said was horribly offensive, especially to parents with developmentally-disabled children.
But this is the NFL. And like they say, Any Given Sunday.
Q: ...moving on, what are your thoughts on the 2009 NFL Draft?
Good question. I look at this team, and I see very little in terms of absolute need. Could we use another defensive tackle over 250 pounds? Probably. Could we stand to find an offensive lineman who can also run block? Yes, but those players do not exist. So in all likeliness, we'll probably end up drafting another tight end, just because in today's NFL you can never have enough tight ends who can't really block and are not good enough to stay on the field as a legitimate passing target. Some folks will tell you that this team needs this or that, but we listen to one voice...
Q: Garth?
Exactly. And we know what he wants: "cwackers."
Q: As in animal crackers?
As in white people. You can never draft enough white people.
Q: Okay, this interview has just become horribly offensive. I think I'll cut it off at this question, before we induce riots. Explain to fans, in brief, how this team can come out so unprepared every postseason?
The funny thing about postseasons are their unpredictability. Because they are so unpredictable, we don't gameplan for them, because you can't gameplan for the unexpected, right? What's the point? If we're going to be surprised, I'd much rather us spend our time writing haikus and practicing interpretive dances than studying film or actually gameplanning. What San Diego did last night was an unknown unknown. You can't strategize for the unknown. We just have to do what we do, every game. Somehow, it gets us 12 wins every year. And honestly, that speaks wonders to the group of players and coaches we have. Some pundits will tell you that winning the Super Bowl is the ultimate goal, but I'll tell you that winning 12 wins every year and never fixing the obvious issues that plague us every year is the bigger accomplishment. We will not let pundits run this team. We listen to one voice. We will not hear these columnists and commentators tell us that "we need a run game" or "most teams have defensive tackles that don't get pushed back 10 yards every snap." Which is why I'd like to announce, for the first time, that we have just signed Keyunta Dawson to a 7-year, $75 million contract!
Q: I'm going to go chew on a shotgun barrel. No joke. I don't even care if I go to hell.
Excellent. I'll see you there!
ColtFreaks resident asshole GoBigBlue88 recently sat down with Indianapolis Colts General Manager Bill Polian to discuss the 2008-09 football season and 23-17 postseason loss to the San Diego Chargers.
Q: The Colts ranked 31st in run offense at the end of the season. The Colts did not run the ball well at San Diego. How do you feel about the Colts' run offense?
Well, it's a matter of perception vs. reality. The perception is that we can't run the ball. But the reality is, we're too good to run the ball. You see, the pundits out there, the prognosticators, they will tell you that we cannot run the ball, that we rank at the bottom of the league in run offense. But what they don't know because they're not here at the practice facility every day and not in the film room or coach meetings, is that we are simply too good to run the ball, so we don't. If we wanted to run the ball, we could. But we really don't want to run the ball, and we won't cater to the pundits.
Q: The Colts have long had problems with 3rd-and-short. What are your feelings on those situations?
We need to get better. I make no qualms about that, we need to improve. Now, will we do this by drafting a running back who can actually push a pile? Probably not. Will we do this by adding offensive linesmen who can actually push defenders off the ball? Certainly not. Why? Because linesmen can only pass block or run block - again, this is something talking heads do not understand, as they do their power rankings and whatnot. You either get linemen who can run block or pass block, and there is not a lineman in the league that can do both. So how will we improve, then? Well, it's quite simple to anyone who knows football. We will find another defensive tackle who is only marginally competent at fullback, and we will put him in on those packages. We will never draft an actual fullback, because we don't need to, it's not our philosophy. But we'll find a defensive tackle who takes all of his snaps at fullback, and it will make much more sense that way.
Q: But a pass play on 3rd-and-2, on what essentially was a game-clinching play had it been executed correctly? An empty backfield?
We listen to one voice, and one voice only - Tony Dungy.
Q: And what was that voice saying on that play?
Oh, Dungy? He was actually not on the sidelines at that time. He was at Guest Relations, asking for directions back to the hotel so he could get a head start on his week of career rumination.
Q: So who made the call?
Some guy named Garth in Section 103. He seemed like a nice enough fellow. That's what distinguishes us from certain other franchises: we do it the right way. Is it always pretty? Of course not. But there's this perception that every game should be a 35-0 blowout and that's simply untrue. We would much rather lose 23-17 with a collection of esteemed, respectable individuals at the helm than win 35-0 with those lacking any semblance of reputability. So you have a guy like Garth make that call, because he's a good man, and that's how we do things in this organization.
Q: Now the Colts head back to Indianapolis with a long offseason ahead. What do you tell the team?
Simply put, we shouldn't be heading home. Not because of our play, of course. But because of a certain questionable call made in the third week of the regular season. If certain questionable calls are called correctly - and I'll have to look at the tape again, but I'm pretty sure the official who called said questionable penalty is a goddamn blind man - then we're hosting a playoff game next week. That's how you have to look at it, really. We should be hosting a playoff game next week, and that's the important part. Instead, we're not, and it's not due to poor play or anything of that ilk, but rather due to a questionable call.
Q: So you don't think the Colts played poorly in their loss to San Diego?
Well, you have to tip your hats to them. Boy, that Darren Sproles is fast. Of course, we knew that going in. We've known that the last three times we've played. But we didn't do anything about it, because it's not what we do. By that, of course, I mean that the talking heads would have us do the opposite of what we do - which is not wrap up ballcarriers, take good pursuit angles or contain the backside cut - and we all know that those prognosticators don't know anything more about football than a sixpence knows about a jitney spent on a Sunday morning trolly ride to Levittown.
Q: What the hell does that even mean?
Sometimes, I'm not even sure.
Q: Did the team ever plan on accounting for All-Pro tight end Antonio Gates?
I feel like we did, for the most part. We held him to wide-open 10-yard gains down the middle instead of semi-open 20-yard gains down the middle. That's important. It, of course, takes ten 10-yard gains to get a touchdown, as opposed to only five 20-yard gains, assuming the team somehow starts at the goal-line. So you have to ask yourself, what would you rather have: a 5-play scoring drive, or a 10-play scoring drive? We did a good job not allowing 5-play scoring drives from the goal line.
Q: But you never had them pinned back on the goal line...
And that's the way the ball bounces sometimes. Sometimes, it bounces out at the one after an expertly-placed punt. Sometimes, you outkick your coverage team a good 30 yards and allow Darren Sproles to run 20 yards before he's even touched. It's really a matter of luck, and Old Lady Luck sure wasn't smiling down on us when it came to holding teams to 10-play scoring drives from the goal line.
Q: Your thoughts on Bob Sanders?
Of course, you know we had been saving him for the postseason, resting him up so he could compete at a high level in January and February. And I think he did. He really engaged blockers well. He showed great speed diving at ballcarriers. Did he miss almost every time? Yes, but it wasn't for lack of trying. Boy, you can't say enough about Bob Sanders. He only plays five gaves in the regular season, and look how hard he plays out there. He runs by ballcarriers with blazing speed. He gets absorbed by wide receivers on off-tackle runs about as well as anyone I've ever seen. You can't say enough about a guy like Bob Sanders. He changes the game, in that he makes no difference whatsoever in the game.
Q: Your thoughts on Tony Dungy returning to coach the Colts next year?
As we say, we only listen to one voice. Garth. And Garth says that Tony Dungy should return, and we expect that. Of course, Garth is a five-year-old boy from Torrey Pines who was only at the game because his parents couldn't find a babysitter. I had to wake him up from his nap to ask him for the third-down playcall, and truthfully, he came off as kind of slow. I wouldn't say retarded necessarily, but definitely slow, developmentally-disabled if you will. He was a cranky customer. But he clearly said "Ummy" when I asked if Tony should return, and though pundits would translate that to "yummy", I believe he was referring to "Dungy." The fact that he laughed and clapped his hands and insisted on flying Quantis only served to reinforce this fact.
Q: Most of what you said was horribly offensive, especially to parents with developmentally-disabled children.
But this is the NFL. And like they say, Any Given Sunday.
Q: ...moving on, what are your thoughts on the 2009 NFL Draft?
Good question. I look at this team, and I see very little in terms of absolute need. Could we use another defensive tackle over 250 pounds? Probably. Could we stand to find an offensive lineman who can also run block? Yes, but those players do not exist. So in all likeliness, we'll probably end up drafting another tight end, just because in today's NFL you can never have enough tight ends who can't really block and are not good enough to stay on the field as a legitimate passing target. Some folks will tell you that this team needs this or that, but we listen to one voice...
Q: Garth?
Exactly. And we know what he wants: "cwackers."
Q: As in animal crackers?
As in white people. You can never draft enough white people.
Q: Okay, this interview has just become horribly offensive. I think I'll cut it off at this question, before we induce riots. Explain to fans, in brief, how this team can come out so unprepared every postseason?
The funny thing about postseasons are their unpredictability. Because they are so unpredictable, we don't gameplan for them, because you can't gameplan for the unexpected, right? What's the point? If we're going to be surprised, I'd much rather us spend our time writing haikus and practicing interpretive dances than studying film or actually gameplanning. What San Diego did last night was an unknown unknown. You can't strategize for the unknown. We just have to do what we do, every game. Somehow, it gets us 12 wins every year. And honestly, that speaks wonders to the group of players and coaches we have. Some pundits will tell you that winning the Super Bowl is the ultimate goal, but I'll tell you that winning 12 wins every year and never fixing the obvious issues that plague us every year is the bigger accomplishment. We will not let pundits run this team. We listen to one voice. We will not hear these columnists and commentators tell us that "we need a run game" or "most teams have defensive tackles that don't get pushed back 10 yards every snap." Which is why I'd like to announce, for the first time, that we have just signed Keyunta Dawson to a 7-year, $75 million contract!
Q: I'm going to go chew on a shotgun barrel. No joke. I don't even care if I go to hell.
Excellent. I'll see you there!
