What Bill and Tommy should have said:

[Grumpy_Bottom]

*Clears Throat* As many of you know, it was brought to our attention that many of the game balls used in the first half of Sunday's game were below regulation pressures. We have purchased a new gauge and submitted it to the NFL for testing to ensure it meets regulations and functions accurately. *drops mike*

 

[Spentcartridge]

*Clears Throat* As many of you know, it was brought to our attention that many of the game balls used in the first half of Sunday's game were below regulation pressures. We have purchased a new gauge and submitted it to the NFL for testing to ensure it meets regulations and functions accurately. *drops mike*

...*Again clears throat*, Raises his voice and says," the balls used in the second half will be enshrined @ Patriots Place as a reminder to all Haters visiting, with cameras in tow, that this team does indeed kick A**! Additionally,
We've installed a quality display of State-of-the-art spyware now available on the market".

 

[benhamean]

"You dickholes enjoy yourselves contemplating the weight of balls. We are on to Seattle".

 

[Beaglebay]

BB: "The NE Patriots are not above acknowledging when an opponent or opponents beat us at our own game, and we are embarrassed to admit no one on our staff, including myself, has ever paid attention to, or attempted to manipulate, the rule regarding football pressure specifications. Shame on us."


TFB: "I shouldn't have allowed my PR guy to post a photoshop picture of me riding a horse on Facebook. I guess it pissed off Mr Irsay more than he'd like to admit. And my comment to Coach Harbaugh about studying the NFL rulebook may have been out of line as well. Nicely played, John. You got me."

 

[Darth Despot]

Brady: [drops trousers] do these balls look droopy to you?