Hawg73
Mediocre with flashes of brilliance
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2002
- Messages
- 25,160
- Reaction score
- 11,516
- Points
- 113
- Age
- 68
- Location
- Gumdrop house on Lollipop Ln.
BB: Hello everybody. It’s been a little strange for me to have the focus on football this week, but I have to say that I’m completely amazed that none of you people gave me so much as a phone call to ask my opinion of Deflategate. I’m pretty sure that every person in America was asked about it, but I got zero calls, texts or pokes on Facebook and I was ready to really open up and discuss the whole thing in depth with the first person that did……. I’m not anymore, but I’m telling you I would have done it and somebody would have had the story of the year. You all fvcked up. It’s a real shame but I’m moving on to OTAs. So who wants to ask me a question about the battle shaping up for 5th string Tight End?
Q: Are you preparing to start the season with Jimmy Garoppolo as the starter based on Tom Brady’s situation?
BB: What do you mean by Tom’s situation?......has he been doing some more cliff diving? Jumping out of a hot air balloon in a wing suit maybe? Look……I'm completely aware that he’s been suspended and the way things are going in this league he could end up getting banned for life for trying sneak 13 items through the “12 items or less” register at Stop and Shop. Not that Brady has actually entered a grocery store for the last 12 years or so, but you get what I mean. Of course we’re preparing with Jimmy. Julian has been working on throwing the ball to himself during the offseason and if he can really get a little more consistent with that then he might have a shot at QB, but right now it looks like Jimmy has the edge.
Q: Are you OK with Mr. Kraft’s decision to accept the league’s punishment?
BB: If by “OK” you mean just totally pissed-off-beyond-belief, then yes, I’m really, really OK.
Q: How critical are OTAs for rookies?
BB: Look, who really gives a shit about OTAs? Do you think that teaching kids how to do jumping jacks and making them attend “what not to say to reporters” seminars really has any bearing on whether or not we win a game, say, in November?
Do you think anybody associated with this team can think of anything right now besides Deflategate and the fact the Commissioner of the National Football League is actively trying to make us irrelevant so that some redneck living outside Jacksonville will quit making his child support payments and buy a Jaquars season ticket instead?
You people are all especially brain dead today. Wake the hell up.
Q: With all that the organization has been through, how good does it feel to get back out on the football field and actually get into football again?
BB: Are you shitting me here?.......where is my Boston media? (shields eyes from lights and searches room) Is Borges here? Felger? Have you people all been neutered?
Q: Has it been tough to watch what has transpired over the last couple months?
BB: Whew. Thank God somebody finally asked me a legitimate question. However, you should have asked me that a month ago. As I said, I’m not talking now. If I did actually tell you what I think about Roger Goodell and his merry band of idiots up there in New York then I’d be back on Nantucket right now supervising the new paint job on the stern of my boat and there wouldn’t be any need for me to hurry back to Foxboro anytime soon.
Q: Do you still have that same excitement level when you get out on the football field?
BB: Yeah, I mean, I love football no matter how much they try to turn in into Monday Night Raw or whatever Vince McMahon is running with these days. I haven’t watched wrestling much since Hogan picked up Andre the Giant and body-slammed him. There was just no real point after that. The Hulkster visited the locker room here once and somebody asked him if he’d be interested in trying out for us at Defensive End. He answered “you couldn’t pay me enough, brother”. True story.
Q: Do you have any opinion on the fan movement to delay the raising of the banner until Tom Brady is on the field?
BB: Not really. Look….. Brady sleeps with Giselle Bundchen every night. Do you really think he’ll cry himself to sleep if they hang a piece of fabric and he isn’t there to see it? Selfishly, I hope they do it without him and it helps a little to light a fire under his ass. Tom is just one of those guys who needs to be pissed off about something to play at his best and as it stands right now I’d say that 2015 is shaping up to be one hell of a season for him.
Q: Has deflategate taken away from the joy of winning the Super Bowl in any way?
BB: Not a bit. It makes it sweeter if anything. I swear to all of you that there is nothing I wouldn’t do to shove it right up Roger Goodell’s ass again. I wake up with a big smile on my face just imagining how great that would be. I think there’s a pretty good chance his head would just fvcking explode if we win it all this season. Goodell is a giant disgrace to the human race and the great game of football and it’s really time for him to go. I’d love to play a small role in that, so if anyone has any ideas………
Q: The veterans know how to deal with this stuff, but do you have to give a special message to the rookies as they join to a team embroiled in controversy, like what to say and how to act?
BB: Of course we always cover that stuff and this year there is an especially big need to do so. Ernie and I have sort of a tradition where we have all the rookies come down the Field House after dinner and we surprise them by handing out sleeping bags. We’ll light a campfire, sing a few songs and toast up some s’mores. This year, we’ll also be bringing in some psychologists to act as counselors and help the kids deal with any upsetting emotions they may be experiencing. You know……like in case any of their friends might be saying mean things about them because they signed with us.
Q: You don’t just have rookies that are new to the program, but you also have free agents who came in and signed. Is their OTA experience any different than the rookies’ in terms of learning the system and what they have to do at this stage?
BB: For the most part, yes. Most of the free agents we bring in will generally be aware of the fact that OTAs don’t mean a goddamned thing. The rookies won’t figure that out for a while.
Q: Well, what about the example of Malcolm Butler? Do you think that experiencing OTAs last May might have helped him be in position to win the Super Bowl for you by February?
BB: Look, nobody likes a smart ass, but that was a decent question.
Q: In regards to the quarterback reps in practice, are you doing anything different during this year’s OTAs than you’ve done in the past?
BB: I think the goal this year is to get everybody to the point where they know how to spell Garoppolo’s name correctly. I mean…….there are three different potential double consonants for people to screw up on and it’ll take a lot of repetition to get it right. There is going to be a lot of reporters this summer thinking “shit! Is it two r’s, p’s or l’s? I can’t remember!!!” We’ll probably give everybody a reason to learn it before long.
Q: The camera above the field is something we haven’t seen before. What does that do for you?
BB: That’s Ernie’s idea. He wanted to try one and he figured the rookies would hustle more if they think a robot is watching them. I don’t know. Ernie has always been into robots and that sort of thing, so I just went along with it to see how it went. Ernie’s pretty busy once the season starts so we think of this as part of his Nerd Camp vacation. Get ready for Dronegate.
Q: For a guy like Jimmy Garoppolo, how much does having a year under his belt help in terms of preparing in the offseason?
BB: Did you ever see any of the film from Eastern Illinois when he was playing there? The stands were almost empty. It was girlfriends and relatives time. He probably played in front of more people watching at practice yesterday and we had that closed to the public. Just remember that his name is spelled with a double P and we’ll see how it goes. I’ve always thought that I don’t give a shit what people say about me but they better spell my name right and I'll be covering that philosophy with Jimmy.
Q: Is it tougher for the rookies and young players to filter out whatever happened last year and move on?
BB: Right now, we’re in 2015. Nobody is looking back, nobody is looking ahead, up, down or even side-to-side. We are teaching the players to use their third eye to look deep within themselves and find their inner zen warrior. If we do that well enough then there is decent chance we will all survive all the lawyers, guns and money we’re sure to see over the next few months and maybe even win another fvcking Super Bowl. Now, If you’ll excuse me I have a whistle to spin.
Q: Are you preparing to start the season with Jimmy Garoppolo as the starter based on Tom Brady’s situation?
BB: What do you mean by Tom’s situation?......has he been doing some more cliff diving? Jumping out of a hot air balloon in a wing suit maybe? Look……I'm completely aware that he’s been suspended and the way things are going in this league he could end up getting banned for life for trying sneak 13 items through the “12 items or less” register at Stop and Shop. Not that Brady has actually entered a grocery store for the last 12 years or so, but you get what I mean. Of course we’re preparing with Jimmy. Julian has been working on throwing the ball to himself during the offseason and if he can really get a little more consistent with that then he might have a shot at QB, but right now it looks like Jimmy has the edge.
Q: Are you OK with Mr. Kraft’s decision to accept the league’s punishment?
BB: If by “OK” you mean just totally pissed-off-beyond-belief, then yes, I’m really, really OK.
Q: How critical are OTAs for rookies?
BB: Look, who really gives a shit about OTAs? Do you think that teaching kids how to do jumping jacks and making them attend “what not to say to reporters” seminars really has any bearing on whether or not we win a game, say, in November?
Do you think anybody associated with this team can think of anything right now besides Deflategate and the fact the Commissioner of the National Football League is actively trying to make us irrelevant so that some redneck living outside Jacksonville will quit making his child support payments and buy a Jaquars season ticket instead?
You people are all especially brain dead today. Wake the hell up.
Q: With all that the organization has been through, how good does it feel to get back out on the football field and actually get into football again?
BB: Are you shitting me here?.......where is my Boston media? (shields eyes from lights and searches room) Is Borges here? Felger? Have you people all been neutered?
Q: Has it been tough to watch what has transpired over the last couple months?
BB: Whew. Thank God somebody finally asked me a legitimate question. However, you should have asked me that a month ago. As I said, I’m not talking now. If I did actually tell you what I think about Roger Goodell and his merry band of idiots up there in New York then I’d be back on Nantucket right now supervising the new paint job on the stern of my boat and there wouldn’t be any need for me to hurry back to Foxboro anytime soon.
Q: Do you still have that same excitement level when you get out on the football field?
BB: Yeah, I mean, I love football no matter how much they try to turn in into Monday Night Raw or whatever Vince McMahon is running with these days. I haven’t watched wrestling much since Hogan picked up Andre the Giant and body-slammed him. There was just no real point after that. The Hulkster visited the locker room here once and somebody asked him if he’d be interested in trying out for us at Defensive End. He answered “you couldn’t pay me enough, brother”. True story.
Q: Do you have any opinion on the fan movement to delay the raising of the banner until Tom Brady is on the field?
BB: Not really. Look….. Brady sleeps with Giselle Bundchen every night. Do you really think he’ll cry himself to sleep if they hang a piece of fabric and he isn’t there to see it? Selfishly, I hope they do it without him and it helps a little to light a fire under his ass. Tom is just one of those guys who needs to be pissed off about something to play at his best and as it stands right now I’d say that 2015 is shaping up to be one hell of a season for him.
Q: Has deflategate taken away from the joy of winning the Super Bowl in any way?
BB: Not a bit. It makes it sweeter if anything. I swear to all of you that there is nothing I wouldn’t do to shove it right up Roger Goodell’s ass again. I wake up with a big smile on my face just imagining how great that would be. I think there’s a pretty good chance his head would just fvcking explode if we win it all this season. Goodell is a giant disgrace to the human race and the great game of football and it’s really time for him to go. I’d love to play a small role in that, so if anyone has any ideas………
Q: The veterans know how to deal with this stuff, but do you have to give a special message to the rookies as they join to a team embroiled in controversy, like what to say and how to act?
BB: Of course we always cover that stuff and this year there is an especially big need to do so. Ernie and I have sort of a tradition where we have all the rookies come down the Field House after dinner and we surprise them by handing out sleeping bags. We’ll light a campfire, sing a few songs and toast up some s’mores. This year, we’ll also be bringing in some psychologists to act as counselors and help the kids deal with any upsetting emotions they may be experiencing. You know……like in case any of their friends might be saying mean things about them because they signed with us.
Q: You don’t just have rookies that are new to the program, but you also have free agents who came in and signed. Is their OTA experience any different than the rookies’ in terms of learning the system and what they have to do at this stage?
BB: For the most part, yes. Most of the free agents we bring in will generally be aware of the fact that OTAs don’t mean a goddamned thing. The rookies won’t figure that out for a while.
Q: Well, what about the example of Malcolm Butler? Do you think that experiencing OTAs last May might have helped him be in position to win the Super Bowl for you by February?
BB: Look, nobody likes a smart ass, but that was a decent question.
Q: In regards to the quarterback reps in practice, are you doing anything different during this year’s OTAs than you’ve done in the past?
BB: I think the goal this year is to get everybody to the point where they know how to spell Garoppolo’s name correctly. I mean…….there are three different potential double consonants for people to screw up on and it’ll take a lot of repetition to get it right. There is going to be a lot of reporters this summer thinking “shit! Is it two r’s, p’s or l’s? I can’t remember!!!” We’ll probably give everybody a reason to learn it before long.
Q: The camera above the field is something we haven’t seen before. What does that do for you?
BB: That’s Ernie’s idea. He wanted to try one and he figured the rookies would hustle more if they think a robot is watching them. I don’t know. Ernie has always been into robots and that sort of thing, so I just went along with it to see how it went. Ernie’s pretty busy once the season starts so we think of this as part of his Nerd Camp vacation. Get ready for Dronegate.
Q: For a guy like Jimmy Garoppolo, how much does having a year under his belt help in terms of preparing in the offseason?
BB: Did you ever see any of the film from Eastern Illinois when he was playing there? The stands were almost empty. It was girlfriends and relatives time. He probably played in front of more people watching at practice yesterday and we had that closed to the public. Just remember that his name is spelled with a double P and we’ll see how it goes. I’ve always thought that I don’t give a shit what people say about me but they better spell my name right and I'll be covering that philosophy with Jimmy.
Q: Is it tougher for the rookies and young players to filter out whatever happened last year and move on?
BB: Right now, we’re in 2015. Nobody is looking back, nobody is looking ahead, up, down or even side-to-side. We are teaching the players to use their third eye to look deep within themselves and find their inner zen warrior. If we do that well enough then there is decent chance we will all survive all the lawyers, guns and money we’re sure to see over the next few months and maybe even win another fvcking Super Bowl. Now, If you’ll excuse me I have a whistle to spin.
