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newsleepyjean

Life is short, have fun!
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Here ya go, guys, some new ammo for ya! The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear From the female side.

' the rules'



Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one: !
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints don't work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Any thing we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 24 Hours.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. .

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, Soccer, Golf
or Hockey and Football.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. ROFLROFLROFL YEAH, RIGHT! (Guys really are naive, ain't they, girls?)
 
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. .

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.


These 3 are the ones I get a lot. :shrug:
 
Oh, thank god. I'm glad it's this list of rules, and not another thing liek "2 Girls, 1 Finger"... :rolleyes:

Thanks, you a@@hole. I went and looked that up. :Eason: How am I supposed to get a good night's sleep now?!? :mad: ROFL
 
Confused I got lost somewhere between #1 and #1 ROFL


1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one: !
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints don't work!
Just say it!


SO TRUE :thumb:
 
These are a few I used in my Days..LOL

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.:jester:One of my favorite lines IF I forgot to put it down..LOL

1. Any thing we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 24 Hours.:jester:That is awesome!!LOL


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.:jester: My ex-wife use to asked me that all the time and she was 115lbs..
 
Here's Some More

Keep your sense of humor ladies and remember this was writen by a man. :)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>This is for equal time for the guys and for the women with sense of humor..........Meet Marvin, men's answer to Maxine
>
> Men strike back!
> How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened when she brings it.
> ------------------------------ ------ ------------------------------ -
> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.
> ------------------------------ ------------------------------
> --------
> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
> them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
> ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------
> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
> When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
> ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------
> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------
> If your dog is
> barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do
you let in first?
> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
> ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------
> I married a Miss Right.
> I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
> a woman's sex drive by
> 90%.
> It's called a Wedding Cake.
> ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------
> Why do men die before their wives?
> They want to.
> ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------
> Women will
> never be equal to men?
> until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still
think they are sexy.
> ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------
> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
> Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.
> Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
> ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------
> Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
> to the select few women who can handle the
> truth !
>
> AND MAXINE SAYS.......... ..'MARVIN'.
>
>
>
>
> Maxine
> just had to have the last word...lol!!

--
 
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