Madden 09 ratings are like condom sizes

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LiveFromNY

LiveFromNY

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http://www.sportsgamer.com/content/1603/madden-09-quarterback-ratings

Honestly, why do people make such a big deal over these ratings? This has got to be the single-worst "rating" system EVER, it just makes absolutely NO sense.

First off, it's the most politically correct, gutless rating system ever (don't want to upset any of the fans buying it afterall) - not to mention it makes absolutely NO SENSE AT ALL. What exactly does it mean for a QB (Palmer) to be rated 96 - what does 96 measure? And how does a number like 96 account for the GIGANTIC discrepancy in terms of real world performance between 96 (Palmer) and Manning / Brady at 99?

How is Rex Grossman 79 overall? Why isn't he 40-something? These numbers are COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS. If you're going to rate players, at least use the full rating scale to make it apparent, the differences in ability between players. And how do they come up with ratings for passing and receiving for long snappers? Most people would intuitively think 79/100 would ordinarily be pretty damn good - if Manning and Brady are 100 and an undrafted rookie QB from a small college is 0, one would think 79 would be more appropriate for someone like Bulger, who is very good but not great - which is what 79/100 should mean, if it means anything at all!

The Madden rating system is a joke, and it's glaringly OBVIOUS that the numbers do not reflect the way the players are implemented in the game (most QBs in this game have a different "feel" unique to them - they probably don't even use the rating system whatsoever in implementing game engine mechanics) so it's effectively nothing more than a PR sheet to placate all the fans out there. I don't even know why I'm making a big deal over it, I guess it's becasue I keep seeing idiots from other message boards make such a big deal over - going so far as to say "QB A is better than QB B - see the Madden 09 ratings" ...and actually MEAN it too WTF?

Madden ratings remind me of Four Seasons condom sizes where everyone is either large, very large, extra large, or extra extra large. Thus concludes my pet peeve for the day.
 
<TABLE id=colCenterTable cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD id=colCenterTitleCenter width="100%"></TD><TD id=colCenterTitleRight width=13>
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</TD></TR><TR><TD id=colCenterTitleLeft width=13>
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</TD><TD id=colCenterTitleCenter width="100%"><!-- Insert HTML content in here. --><B><BIG>Indianapolis Colts</B></BIG> <TABLE border=1><TBODY><TR bgColor=#f1f1f3><TH>First_Name</TH><TH>Last_Name</TH><TH>Position</TH><TH>Jersey_#</TH><TH>
Overall_Rating


</TH><TH>Speed</TH><TH>Acceleration</TH><TH>Strength</TH><TH>Agility</TH><TH>Awareness</TH><TH>Catching</TH><TH>Carrying</TH><TH>Throw_Power</TH><TH>Throw_Accuracy</TH><TH>Kick_Power</TH><TH>Kick_Accuracy</TH><TH>Run_Block</TH><TH>Pass_Block</TH><TH>Tackle</TH><TH>Jumping</TH><TH>Kick_Return</TH><TH>Injury</TH><TH>Stamina</TH><TH>Trucking</TH><TH>Elusiveness</TH><TH>BC_Vision</TH><TH>Stiff_Arm</TH><TH>Spin_Move</TH><TH>Juke_Move</TH><TH>Impact_Blocking</TH><TH>Block_Strength</TH><TH>Run_Block_Footwork</TH><TH>Pass_Block_Strength</TH><TH>Pass_Block_Footwork</TH><TH>Power_Moves</TH><TH>Finesse_Moves</TH><TH>Block_Shedding</TH><TH>Pursuit</TH><TH>Play_Recognition</TH><TH>Man_Coverage</TH><TH>Zone_Coverage</TH><TH>Running_Style</TH><TH>Spectacular_Catch</TH><TH>Catch_in_Traffic</TH><TH>Route_Running</TH><TH>Hit_Power</TH><TH>Press</TH><TH>Release</TH></TR></TBODY></TABLE>



</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
These are the different things they rate players on besides the names of course. Awareness is the #1 rating factor on madden.


Edit: scroll right>
 
This is one of the funniest things ive ever read.

<TABLE cellSpacing=5 cellPadding=0 width=200 align=left border=0><TBODY><TR><TD align=middle>
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</TD></TR><TR><TD class=caption align=middle>An image of excellence.</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is ****ing bullshit and you should kiss my mother-****ing ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a ****ing 12. I rate you a ****ing 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. ****, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod “He Hate Me” Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shit teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?

I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. ****, man, there are some shitty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.

<TABLE cellSpacing=5 cellPadding=0 width=200 align=right border=0><TBODY><TR><TD align=middle>
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</TD></TR><TR><TD class=caption align=middle>Red Alert!</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>John, you are such a ****ing dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a ****ing zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my ****ing face. **** that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a - 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). **** me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a ****ing lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass ****wad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

<TABLE cellSpacing=5 cellPadding=0 width=200 align=left border=0><TBODY><TR><TD align=middle>
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</TD></TR><TR><TD class=caption align=middle>When I'm not snapping balls, I snap necks.</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>**** you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you **** with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.

Rot in Hell,
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LiveFromNY said:
OMFG that is the FUNNIEST thing I've read all week! Can't believe I never came across that before ...oh Jesus, that's hilarious!

And wait, didn't this guy make the Pro Bowl?
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Haha yup he was selected to the Pro-Bowl this year. Wonder what he will be rated this year...
 
LiveFromNY said:
These numbers are COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS. If you're going to rate players, at least use the full rating scale to make it apparent, the differences in ability between players.
.
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I think they do a good job with Madden ratings for the most part. The online updated rosters throughout the seasons are nice too. Rookies overall rating usually arent that good when they first sell the game, but they update the roster during the season to try to give players a more realistic rating. Most players on the game are through the 75-100 scale so Rex Grossman at a 79 isnt very good at all.
 
I'm disappointed in EA for not making Madden for the PC this year. I bought Madden 08 PC a couple months ago and have some solid battles with my buddy before (and maybe during...) Criminal Procedure.
 
Brady has the biggest arm on the game. 99 Throwing Arm power is abit much??
 
Does Madden include a QB rating for "hoe-bag girlfriends" nowadays? That should be a category.
 
Tedy Bruschi

quickness: 82
lateral movement: 90
hands: 95
saving kittens from trees: 100
rescuing people from burning buildings: 100
return coverage: 81
interception ability: 92
curing cancer and fixing the ozone: 100
 
JD10367 said:
Tedy Bruschi

quickness: 82
lateral movement: 90
hands: 95
saving kittens from trees: 100
rescuing people from burning buildings: 100
return coverage: 81
interception ability: 92
curing cancer and fixing the ozone: 100
Click to expand...

Tedi Bruschi - half-man, half-god, half possible centaur.
 
Michigan Dave said:
I'm disappointed in EA for not making Madden for the PC this year. I bought Madden 08 PC a couple months ago and have some solid battles with my buddy before (and maybe during...) Criminal Procedure.
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I am too, but it's become more and more apparent that the PC has become the red-headed step child of the video game industry. In some ways, the Madden franchise had already foreclosed on the PC, apparent by the fact they have not updated the graphics engine for Madden since like Madden 2004. The graphics for the PC-Madden are ATROCIOUS and almost absurd looking compared to that on the console. Having said that, I was hopelessly addicted to Madden 08 during its run, too.

Madden leaving the PC is just the cusp of several more PC-snubs / console exclusives. It makes sense though, because the PC-market is far smaller and much easier to pirate the software too.
 
MAYHEM said:
I think they do a good job with Madden ratings for the most part. The online updated rosters throughout the seasons are nice too. Rookies overall rating usually arent that good when they first sell the game, but they update the roster during the season to try to give players a more realistic rating. Most players on the game are through the 75-100 scale so Rex Grossman at a 79 isnt very good at all.
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I agree. I think Football sims are pretty well done, as regular readers of Patriots Planet may be aware (that I think this).
 
thomas144 said:
I agree. I think Football sims are pretty well done, as regular readers of Patriots Planet may be aware (that I think this).
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I just hate how EA Sports has the monopoly on NFL games.

I love All Pro Football 2K8 - it's no as well polished as Madden but it's extremely innovative and a refreshing change of pace from Madden
 
LiveFromNY said:
I just hate how EA Sports has the monopoly on NFL games.

I love All Pro Football 2K8 - it's no as well polished as Madden but it's extremely innovative and a refreshing change of pace from Madden
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I was a huge 2K fan but haven't bought or played Madden since it got the exclusive deal with the NFL. What is All Pro Football?
 
thomas144 said:
I was a huge 2K fan but haven't bought or played Madden since it got the exclusive deal with the NFL. What is All Pro Football?
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It's the spiritual successor to ESPN NFL 2K :) check it out, it'll all be very familar to you

On another note, my dream is for there to one day, be an updated version of Tecmo Superbowl. BO JACKSON FTW!
 
LiveFromNY said:
It's the spiritual successor to ESPN NFL 2K :) check it out, it'll all be very familar to you

On another note, my dream is for there to one day, be an updated version of Tecmo Superbowl. BO JACKSON FTW!
Click to expand...

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LiveFromNY said:
It's the spiritual successor to ESPN NFL 2K :) check it out, it'll all be very familar to you

On another note, my dream is for there to one day, be an updated version of Tecmo Superbowl. BO JACKSON FTW!
Click to expand...

I think they are.
 
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