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Pyxis

Pyxis

First one at MY house
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I flew through an ice blizzard to Denver in 1983 for my brother's wedding. The April storm SHOULD have warned us, but we proceeded. It took over an hour to drive from the house to the church. I hate ice and snow. I was a terrified wreck upon arrival.

The priest came to make sure we were ready after checking on the bride. It all seemed well until the groom realized that the rings were at home. :doh: He looked at our older brother with that "you need to run back to my place "look. Remember. It took an hour to get there. So, this meant a two hour delay.

My older brother began humming the theme song to My Three Sons and left to fetch the rings.

I have my nephew's wedding in three hours. I asked about the rings and he got mad. Turns out, they are two hours away and are being fetched.

Cue theme song to My Three Sons.



Your turn. :)
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I'm not certain that I've ever been to a wedding other than when my dad got re-married and he didn't have a church wedding, so it was just a formality somewhere and then a pretty small dinner for the people closest to.

Maybe I should start wedding crashing
 
You people are no fun whatsoever. :shake:
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Ok my wedding was in 101 degrees weather,no air conditioning,no engagement ring involved,spoiled food,and the wedding rings were $229... The good news we recieved 300 in cash gifts to help off set the $60 food bill, $45 JP payment and we used the rest for our honeymoon at the old Riverside park,now named Six Flags New England.. I won my Bride a lot of stufies that night also...Not to bad for one weeks worth of planning...

Feel better now? :coffee:
 
Pyxis said:
You people are no fun whatsoever. :shake:
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Ok... Fine. When I was in the navy I went to a wedding that was fine, but the reception was at the Anerican Legion hall. I was 17, and on my first leave. The bartender at the legion hall saw I was in my dress blues and so I drank on the house. A lot. Then, I got bored and went down the tables drinking all of the unattended glasses of champagne, and was so drunk I don't remember what happened until I once again became self-aware hours later: up on the stage doing a very drunk and vomit-filled rendition of Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle" with a vomit-crusted 12-string that I dedicated to the bride & groom. I apparentky followed it up with a folk version of the Dead Kennedy's "Too Drunk To ****" before I was ushered out to the car to "sleep it off". I had also lost my pants at some point before that. Not sure where they ended up.

Anyway, I stopped getting wedding invites after that for some reason. Buncha puritans, you ask me.
 
Thank you, Clare. Exactly the sort of story I'm looking for.

Piggy. Your honeymoon at Six Flags? Did you yack booze on her during the rollercoaster?
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Pyxis said:
Thank you, Clare. Exactly the sort of story I'm looking for.

Piggy. Your honeymoon at Six Flags? Did you yack booze on her during the rollercoaster?
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Sober..And she yacked after dragging her on the Cyclone...ROFL
 
I went to one where The best man and maid of honor were married but his preggo girlfriend was his date?!?!?!

Or the bride was caught screwing the best man

I will not go into the brawls that seemed to follow me around weddings, I guess asking someone's girlfriend to dance is often frowned upon by jealous boyfriends. So I often asked repeatedly..

I also was a professional date, since I was so charming I often was asked to weddings to make ex-boyfriends jealous.... That goes back to the brawls issue..

I too stopped getting invites..
 
When I got married, I was in Kansas City, MO for the week before the wedding. I sent my dress blues to Regina via FedEx overnight so that they could be dry cleaned before the wedding. The wedding was on a Saturday and I got a call on Thursday from her asking where the blues were. I had sent them on Monday. Thank goodness for nice people at the uniform outlet at the Marine Corps records center. They fitted me and I had a set to get married in. FedEx did pay for the lost uniform which turned up a month later in Alaska. After the nervous crap there, our first 30 years have been a cake walk.
 
mikiemo83 said:
I went to one where The best man and maid of honor were married but his preggo girlfriend was his date?!?!?!

Or the bride was caught screwing the best man

I will not go into the brawls that seemed to follow me around weddings, I guess asking someone's girlfriend to dance is often frowned upon by jealous boyfriends. So I often asked repeatedly..

I also was a professional date, since I was so charming I often was asked to weddings to make ex-boyfriends jealous.... That goes back to the brawls issue..

I too stopped getting invites..
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Oh God Mikie. ROFL

This wedding was incident free. I got cock blocked but I can fix that tomorrow.
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I took jobs as a wedding photographer during my college years to make some $$. One B&G wanted the wedding party posed in front of the head table, which I knew would be a crappy pic since the table itself would be hidden by their bodies, dig? As they got posed and arranged for the pic, and as I was focusing and checking composition, I realized the bride's veil had caught fire from touching the flame of the candle directly behind her. The best pic of the day was captured in my mind for eternity...everyone in the wedding party smiling while the back of the bride's veil and hair went up in smoke. I yelled, "Your veil's on fire!!", and the groom turned to look at his missus, then began hitting her hard on the back of her head to put out the flames. What I remember most clearly about the rest of the reception is that I spent my time trying to avoid having her singed veil and her bald spot in any of the photos. Good times.
 
I was at a wedding in the 80s where all the women in the church had big hair with tons of hairspray on. The bride's sister's hair burst into flame as she walked down the aisle. We still see each other because a ton of us still live in town. Michelle will always be the Smoking Hot Bridesmaid.

ROFL
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I can remember back in the '80's my cousin got married.

Her parents lived about 10 minutes from Blue Hills and the reception was in their back yard.

There was a nasty storm that was raining about 5 inches an hour and moving about 40 mph in a NE direction.

Yeah, I got to drive the whole way from CT to the wedding under this downpour.

The groom's brother was a priest, so he presided at the ceremony.

Thankfully my Aunt and Uncle had a tent in the back yard, but there was a slight slope so all the water from the rain flowed into the reception area. It quickly became a mud filled quagmire.

Since everyone knew their good clothes were going to get wet and dirty, we did the only thing possible.

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The kicker was what the priest said.

"Don't worry about the mud. Jesus talked about mud....." I don't recall the rest because we were all laughing so hard.
 
Outdoor weddings are ok as long as you are properly attired for it. Knowing the rain was pretty much a 100% guarantee AND we were in the Hill Country, a bunch of us wore our cowboy boots. Guys in jeans. Girls in dresses. No way was I going to sink the high heels in the grass or walk through gravel. :shake: Managed to remain standing the entire time. A woman I'm not fond of got a heel stuck in the lawn. That was awesome.
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I also tended bar for a year at Ocean Edge Resort in Brewster, and worked many high-falutin' weddings.

One of these weddings was a clambake dinner, to be held under a huge tent by the pool, for well over 300 guests. There were weather reports of a threatening hurricane (Eduardo?), but despite the bar/waitstaff's concern, the geniuses that ran the place were adamant the storm would be no big deal.

So here we (the staff) were, carrying dozens of trays of expensive food 15 feet through a downpour (the plating area was left uncovered) to the waiting guests. We all grimaced as we set rain-filled plate after rain-filled plate in front of the guests, who were subjected also to the streams of rainwater sliding from our heads, to our faces, and onto their clothing and the tablecloths. Large puddles gathered, and the musicians were frantic to keep their cords and other electronic equipment from the water's path. As the wind increased, the tent sides came loose in areas, and began to whip like flags into the tent. Glasses stacked in high-tiered pyramids behind my makeshift bar were knocked onto the cement pad of the tent flooring by the dozen, and shattered. Then came huge claps of thunder and blinding flashes of lightning. The strings of lights around the perimeter of the tent began to fall, pulling down the immense, hanging centerpiece of dried flowers, which fell directly onto the dance floor. I pulled the main plug to the lights from its outlet, and attempted to sweep the broken glass away from the bar area.

The genius management arrived (ta-da!), and announced with 20/20 hindsight the wedding should be moved indoors, so we all packed up what was worth salvaging, and trucked it all (along with our dripping, pissed-off selves) to a room in the Carriage House, which normally, if cozily, accommodated up to 150 people.

After the wedding was over, I gave my notice. To have clients pay upwards of $65,000 (in 1998) for a wedding and be subjected to such a colossal planning failure and life-threatening circumstances made me beyond furious. The function manager asked me into his office to talk about why I was leaving, and while I told him, very clearly, my reasons, a huge row of books and the shelves they were on came crashing down behind me. The place is known to be haunted, and I'd like to think that the ghost of Addie Nickerson knocked those shelves down as a punctuation mark to my ripping the manager a new one for being in charge of such a fiasco.
 
There is no end to human stupidity.
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Beaglebay said:
I also tended bar for a year at Ocean Edge Resort in Brewster, and worked many high-falutin' weddings.

One of these weddings was a clambake dinner, to be held under a huge tent by the pool, for well over 300 guests. There were weather reports of a threatening hurricane (Eduardo?), but despite the bar/waitstaff's concern, the geniuses that ran the place were adamant the storm would be no big deal.

So here we (the staff) were, carrying dozens of trays of expensive food 15 feet through a downpour (the plating area was left uncovered) to the waiting guests. We all grimaced as we set rain-filled plate after rain-filled plate in front of the guests, who were subjected also to the streams of rainwater sliding from our heads, to our faces, and onto their clothing and the tablecloths. Large puddles gathered, and the musicians were frantic to keep their cords and other electronic equipment from the water's path. As the wind increased, the tent sides came loose in areas, and began to whip like flags into the tent. Glasses stacked in high-tiered pyramids behind my makeshift bar were knocked onto the cement pad of the tent flooring by the dozen, and shattered. Then came huge claps of thunder and blinding flashes of lightning. The strings of lights around the perimeter of the tent began to fall, pulling down the immense, hanging centerpiece of dried flowers, which fell directly onto the dance floor. I pulled the main plug to the lights from its outlet, and attempted to sweep the broken glass away from the bar area.

The genius management arrived (ta-da!), and announced with 20/20 hindsight the wedding should be moved indoors, so we all packed up what was worth salvaging, and trucked it all (along with our dripping, pissed-off selves) to a room in the Carriage House, which normally, if cozily, accommodated up to 150 people.

After the wedding was over, I gave my notice. To have clients pay upwards of $65,000 (in 1998) for a wedding and be subjected to such a colossal planning failure and life-threatening circumstances made me beyond furious. The function manager asked me into his office to talk about why I was leaving, and while I told him, very clearly, my reasons, a huge row of books and the shelves they were on came crashing down behind me. The place is known to be haunted, and I'd like to think that the ghost of Addie Nickerson knocked those shelves down as a punctuation mark to my ripping the manager a new one for being in charge of such a fiasco.
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I am relatively certain that IF they could afford to pay the 65k for the wedding, they were certainly able to find the right lawyer. I'm pretty sure the Ocean Edge lost both you and the case. :jester:


Cheers, BostonTim
 
You know what would be hilarious? If someone on this board was at that wedding.
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