Apple Butter Horrors

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John Locke

John Locke

Bringing Light and Justice to the World
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I have a jar of what appears to be home made apple butter that mysteriously appeared on my counter this morning. One question, what the fvck is apple butter? I know it's apple butter cause it says apple butter on the goddamn jar, but what the hell is it's purpose.

It's not the right color to be apple jelly and it sure the hell isn't the color of any part of any apple I've ever seen. WTF?

What the fvck is apple butter and why is it near my goddamn ramen noodles. This is just messed up and making my head hurt. I mean what the hell do you do with this shit. :shrug_n:

My day is ruined. :banghead:
 
One of the best thread starters ever.

I give it a 7 out of 5.

Sent from my Enigma Device
 
Whoever gave it to ya, their feelings will be hurt if the read the thread.

Try that stuff on an English muffin.
 
Submitted for your approval.

A strange jarred substance mysteriously appears in a common American cupboard. No one really notices it, and when they do no one gives it much thought until just as mysteriously, it disappears, seemingly back into the nothingness from which it sprang.

You have taken a left turn into the Twilight Zone.
 
So, you can really eat this stuff? It's not like a natural alternative to WD-40 or something? Huh.
 
Did the apples come from North Carolina?

:suicide:
 
PatsFanLisa said:
You really didn't know this was a product that you eat????????

:eek:
Click to expand...

I didn't know what the hell it was. I was thinking of using it to fix the squeak on my car door. :banghead:
 
After having done considerable research into the dark and mysterious world of apple butter and it's various uses, I have come the the conclusion that it may be very useful but I'm still not eating it.

Uses:

Applebutter sandwiches! (A little peanut butter and you're good to go!)

A dollop of applebutter with pork loin or pork chops.

Or a cup of applebutter as dessert.

swirl it into some cottage cheese, sprinkle with grapenuts, add raisins if you like them

Add it to your morning oatmeal.

A grilled turkey,brie and apple butter sandwich.

A grilled ham (very thinly sliced), cheddar and apple butter sandwich.

Slathered on biscuits or muffins.

And the most important use I've found is that yes, it is , in fact a natural alternative to WD-40.

There are many more uses for this miracle substances as it may be the most versatile product this side of cream cheese.
 
If it's NC apple butter it's good shit. I get it when ever we visit the mountains up there. Normally just eat ot on toast.
 
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