HELP! My Waitress Is On Drugs & She's Hitting On Me

What to do?

  • Be polite, respectful, and kind

    Votes: 2 8.3%

  • Tell the manager

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Google the nearest NA meeting and go with her

    Votes: 1 4.2%

  • Parking lot BJ

    Votes: 10 41.7%

  • Bathrooms are for boinking

    Votes: 7 29.2%

  • What would MichiganDave do?

    Votes: 1 4.2%

  • TTIUWP

    Votes: 3 12.5%

  • Explain to her in detail why BB is the greatest coach in the history of football

    Votes: 5 20.8%

  • It depends on how much you're willing to drink

    Votes: 3 12.5%

  • Release Jaric from my basement

    Votes: 2 8.3%

  • This thread is offensive to memberless members

    Votes: 1 4.2%

  • This thread is offensive to ALL members

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    24

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johnlocke said:
Got a parking lot bj last night. Not from a drug addled waitress but by an a great chick. Living my best life. :party:
Click to expand...

Reaching into my far far distant pass, the only thing better might be the Harley Tug.


Cheers
 
Hawg73 said:
I realize you couldn't just snap a photo of her and post it here, but some detail might've been helpful.
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Eh, I was posting on my phone while sitting at a table on the patio. That doesn't lend to very detailed posts, but your comment is noted.

Hawg73 said:
No offense, but how do we really know you weren't imagining/exaggerating?
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I suppose you'll have to take me at my word relative to the lack of any history supporting the notion I would do so.
 
tehmackdaddy said:
I suppose you'll have to take me at my word relative to the lack of any history supporting the notion I would do so.
Click to expand...

True, you don't seem like a bullshit artist, but sometimes shit happens.

For instance, I was at a restaraunt/cigar bar in Florida a few years back with my wife and another couple. We were enjoying a post-meal smoke and a college-age nice-looking girl who was quite drunk approaches me.

She explains that she wanted to know if it was OK to give me a kiss and her friends had dared her to go for it. Right in front of my wife who was rolling her eyes as in "oh, really?"

I, of course, assumed that my mature pheremones had simply overwhelmed her from across the bar even though I was old enough to be her Father (at least) and the girl was helpless to resist my charms. So, we kissed.

Feeling pretty studly about myself, she thanked me and went on to say that the aroma of my cigar had reminded her very much of her late Grandpa and she missed him terribly.

(cue erection quickly disappearing sound effect)

Everybody laughed like hell, but I'm sure your circumstance was quite different. Probably.
 
Hawg73 said:
True, you don't seem like a bullshit artist, but sometimes shit happens.

For instance, I was at a restaraunt/cigar bar in Florida a few years back with my wife and another couple. We were enjoying a post-meal smoke and a college-age nice-looking girl who was quite drunk approaches me.

She explains that she wanted to know if it was OK to give me a kiss and her friends had dared her to go for it. Right in front of my wife who was rolling her eyes as in "oh, really?"

I, of course, assumed that my mature pheremones had simply overwhelmed her from across the bar even though I was old enough to be her Father (at least) and the girl was helpless to resist my charms. So, we kissed.

Feeling pretty studly about myself, she thanked me and went on to say that the aroma of my cigar had reminded her very much of her late Grandpa and she missed him terribly.

(cue erection quickly disappearing sound effect)

Everybody laughed like hell, but I'm sure your circumstance was quite different. Probably.
Click to expand...

ROFL

All-time, all-time story. :party:

Cheers
 
Hawg73 said:
True, you don't seem like a bullshit artist, but sometimes shit happens.

For instance, I was at a restaraunt/cigar bar in Florida a few years back with my wife and another couple. We were enjoying a post-meal smoke and a college-age nice-looking girl who was quite drunk approaches me.

She explains that she wanted to know if it was OK to give me a kiss and her friends had dared her to go for it. Right in front of my wife who was rolling her eyes as in "oh, really?"

I, of course, assumed that my mature pheremones had simply overwhelmed her from across the bar even though I was old enough to be her Father (at least) and the girl was helpless to resist my charms. So, we kissed.

Feeling pretty studly about myself, she thanked me and went on to say that the aroma of my cigar had reminded her very much of her late Grandpa and she missed him terribly.

(cue erection quickly disappearing sound effect)

Everybody laughed like hell, but I'm sure your circumstance was quite different. Probably.
Click to expand...

Great story, but take solace, at least it wasn't the smell of Ben-Gay,
 
Hawg73 said:
True, you don't seem like a bullshit artist, but sometimes shit happens.

For instance, I was at a restaraunt/cigar bar in Florida a few years back with my wife and another couple. We were enjoying a post-meal smoke and a college-age nice-looking girl who was quite drunk approaches me.

She explains that she wanted to know if it was OK to give me a kiss and her friends had dared her to go for it. Right in front of my wife who was rolling her eyes as in "oh, really?"

I, of course, assumed that my mature pheremones had simply overwhelmed her from across the bar even though I was old enough to be her Father (at least) and the girl was helpless to resist my charms. So, we kissed.

Feeling pretty studly about myself, she thanked me and went on to say that the aroma of my cigar had reminded her very much of her late Grandpa and she missed him terribly.

(cue erection quickly disappearing sound effect)

Everybody laughed like hell, but I'm sure your circumstance was quite different. Probably.
Click to expand...
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_asNhzXq72w" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
 
I went home with a waitress the way I always do
How was I to know she was with the russians, too?
I was gambling in havana, I took a little risk
Send lawyers, guns, and money
Dad, get me out of this, hiyah!
An innocent bystander
Somehow I got stuck between a rock and a hard place
And I'm down on my luck
Yes, I'm down on my luck
Well, I'm down on my luck
I'm hiding in honduras, I'm a desperate man
Send lawyers, guns, and money
The shit has hit the fan
Send lawyers, guns, and money
Send lawyers, guns, and money
Send lawyers, guns, and money, hiyah!
Send lawyers, guns, and money, ow
 
I don't know why this is such a big deal. It happens to me all the time.
 
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