Looks like if I just fill out a few forms, my money issues are solved!

Undertaker #59*

Car'a'carn
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Got this email this morning. On one side I get $4 million. On the other I go to jail for tax evasion and money laundering. Whatever shall l do?

Federal Bureau of Investigation
Field Intelligence Groups J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest, Washington, DC 20535



Attention: Beneficiary,

I am the Deputy Director, Federal Bureau of Investigation David Bowdich. We intercepted and seized a sealed envelope at the John F Kennedy International Airport, New York, NY 11430 coming from a foreign country. We scanned the content of the sealed envelope and found it contained a total sum of 4.1 million dollars value certified payment bond. Also, the sealed envelope had documents with your name on them as the receiver of the package. We question the diplomat that accompanied the sealed envelope into the United States, and we learned that he was to deliver this sealed envelope to your residence as payment of an inheritance / winning prize payment due and owed to you.

The envelope paperwork lacks the PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE AND LEGAL DELIVERY PERMIT CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE form. We confiscated the envelope and released the Diplomat. The sealed envelope according to section 229 subsection 31 of the International Commerce Regulators Code Enforcement Guidelines, lacks PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE AND LEGAL DELIVERY PERMIT CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE and since the content is valued financial material of such amount, from the joint team of the Federal Bureau Of Investigation and Homeland Security, you're to reply for direction on how to procure the envelope so you will be relieved of the charges of tax evasion which is a jail-able offense under section 12 subsection 441 of the tax code. We will also be asking the IRS to launch an investigation on money laundering if you do not follow our instructions.

You are required to reply within 72 hours at that point I will walk you through the process of clearing and claiming the money. Failure to comply may lead to your arrest, interrogation and,/or you being prosecuted in the Court of Law for tax evasion and/or money laundering. You are also advised not to contact any bank in Africa, Europe or banking institutions for security reasons.

Yours in service,

David Bowdich
Deputy Director
Federal Bureau of Investigation.
 
I like it when they say they are from the US Customs Service, which ceased to exist in 2003!

I'm sure this is 100% legitimate, Signed, a Nigerian Prince
 
Wow, that's a tough decision. Do you take the 4mil, or do you go to jail? Hmm... :huh:
 
You'd think they'd at least use proper grammar in these things.

so what wikipedia GIF by Futurithmic
 
When I become Overlord of the realm, I will track down anybody trying to delude poor souls and the gullible in this manner and arrest them. They can run, but will not be able to hide.

During day release from the dungeon, they will be forced to construct a kick-ass gallows. Any slackers will feel the lash of the quirt until they get some motivation. Once it is built, they'll all be able to experience the fruits of their labors.

Then, I'll leave them hanging in full public view until the wind whistles through their bones.

A bit dramatic? Sure it is, but.... problem solved.
 
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