gomezcat
Sniffing Ms Cat's knickers
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2004
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- 9,007
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- Under the crack of Miss Cat's whip
- Website
- gomezcat.blogspot.com
It's abundantly clear that the Pats are tanking. It's not a winning strategy because that would imply Football competence on the part of the world's worst and cheatingest "coach".
Belicheet brings in Tank Williams, Richard "Tank" Sherman, a fish tank and an Abrams tank. He also brings in some ta*tank*a from some prairie somewhere. He also brings in Hank Williams for musical entertainment, because it sounds like Tank.
He lines the fish tank next to the Abrams on the interior O line. They turn out to be better than the current incumbents at both realising that the guys in different coloured uniforms might want to hurt their quarterback and at realising that the rules of Football allow you to F***ING BLOCK SOMEONE. HOW F***ING DIFFICULT CAN IT BE????
This is brought to the attention of Neutral Commissioner F*** The Cheating Pat Assmasters, previously known as Roger Goodell. He notes, not at all smugly, that this is an equipment violation. He rules during one of the F***ING AD BREAKS THAT ARE DRIVING ME F***ING MAD that the Pats will have to play the fish tank at signal caller and Brady is forced to play at corner. The Abrams is forced to be a punt returner, and the Buffalo/Bison/Tatanka are told to line up as the other DBs. Richard Sherman is given to the Texans.
The fish tank doesn't do a great job at QB, although it's still better than Tim Tebow and throws fewer brainfart passes than Cutler. Unfortunately, the Pats are obliged to play an O Line of Max Lane, Jordan Devey, Josh Kline, Billy Yates and AAAAAAAGGGGHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!! STOP PLEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSEEEEE!!!!!!
After one series, the fish tank is therefore in pieces. JJ Watt gets loads of sacks, forced fumbles, pass break-ups, snot bubbling tackles, blah blah blah F****ing blah. This means that Richard Sherman is left with nothing to do but say, "you mad, bro?" to anyone in earshot.
Meanwhile, Brian Hoyer shows that he is the best QB in history by tearing apart the Pats' secondary who constantly wander offside, try to eat the turf and aren't the best backpedallers in history.
So, there we go. This utter shower of shit of a team will go 10 and 6 and into oblivion. The Texans are headed for greatness.
Final score. Pats 0, Texans 8,292,535.
Belicheet brings in Tank Williams, Richard "Tank" Sherman, a fish tank and an Abrams tank. He also brings in some ta*tank*a from some prairie somewhere. He also brings in Hank Williams for musical entertainment, because it sounds like Tank.
He lines the fish tank next to the Abrams on the interior O line. They turn out to be better than the current incumbents at both realising that the guys in different coloured uniforms might want to hurt their quarterback and at realising that the rules of Football allow you to F***ING BLOCK SOMEONE. HOW F***ING DIFFICULT CAN IT BE????
This is brought to the attention of Neutral Commissioner F*** The Cheating Pat Assmasters, previously known as Roger Goodell. He notes, not at all smugly, that this is an equipment violation. He rules during one of the F***ING AD BREAKS THAT ARE DRIVING ME F***ING MAD that the Pats will have to play the fish tank at signal caller and Brady is forced to play at corner. The Abrams is forced to be a punt returner, and the Buffalo/Bison/Tatanka are told to line up as the other DBs. Richard Sherman is given to the Texans.
The fish tank doesn't do a great job at QB, although it's still better than Tim Tebow and throws fewer brainfart passes than Cutler. Unfortunately, the Pats are obliged to play an O Line of Max Lane, Jordan Devey, Josh Kline, Billy Yates and AAAAAAAGGGGHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!! STOP PLEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSEEEEE!!!!!!
After one series, the fish tank is therefore in pieces. JJ Watt gets loads of sacks, forced fumbles, pass break-ups, snot bubbling tackles, blah blah blah F****ing blah. This means that Richard Sherman is left with nothing to do but say, "you mad, bro?" to anyone in earshot.
Meanwhile, Brian Hoyer shows that he is the best QB in history by tearing apart the Pats' secondary who constantly wander offside, try to eat the turf and aren't the best backpedallers in history.
So, there we go. This utter shower of shit of a team will go 10 and 6 and into oblivion. The Texans are headed for greatness.
Final score. Pats 0, Texans 8,292,535.
