So Kraft walks into the owners meeting next week...
"Gentlemen, this is Jeffery Kessler. Call him Jeff. More on him in a minute.
Now as many of you know, I've always been a "league first" guy. I am a true football fan, going back to my days sitting on cold metal benches at the old Sullivan Stadium. Named after Billy Sullivan. Some of you may remember him. If not, feel free to google him. It's an, shall I say, entertaining story. Anyway, I grew up dreaming of being a part of this wonderful league, working with the greatest athletes on earth, helping to steward the greatest game on earth. The day I acquired the New England Patriots ranks up there with the happiest days of my life, when my beloved Myra said "I do" and when my children were born. I love this league and I love this game.
Anyway, as I was saying, I've always put the league before my own personal interests. Remember that ridiculous situation called "Spygate" where my head coach put his toe across the line of the rule book, basically doing a rolling stop through a stop sign in the grand scheme. Remember how I allowed the new commissioner, one who I helped put in that job, come down overly harsh on us, because I thought it was for the good of the league to send a message that there was indeed a "new sheriff" in town. I knew my Patriots and my brand would take a hit, but I allowed it, for the good of our enterprise here. And remember when some of you bumbled your way into a labor dispute with the players union, in part due to the ridiculously bad collectively bargained agreement you had put yourselves in just a few years prior. Do you remember who left his dying wife's bedside to come here and as Jeff Saturday so eloquently put it, "save football". Does anyone remember that?
Well, gentlemen, I am here today with a different purpose. I'm sure we've all read about the insanely ridiculous investigation and punishment just handed down by a renegade commissioner, that same commissioner that I supported when he fumbled all over himself during the Ray Rice investigation. Remember how he said they couldn't get the elevator tape, until they saw it broadcast on TMZ and how he never saw it only to find out it was e-mailed to the league office by the authorities in Atlantic City. Does anyone recall any of that?
Well gentlemen, changes are going to be made here today. I am no longer putting "The Shield" ahead of my team. Not when the reputation of the greatest player this game has ever seen is being smeared like no other. Today, I am putting my team, the team that I built from scratch, first.
Today, we have a decision to make. A or B.
A) We are going to unanimously vote to terminate the employment of Roger Goodell, with cause, and I am going to walk out to that podium and announce said firing the world. There will be no announcements about "spending more time with family". And we are going to go back to our respective media outlets and talk about how our review of the facts of the report, and items not included in that report, show the conclusions of the report to be without foundation and the conclusions made by the league office had no merit in fact and furthermore, that for the good of the league, we are going to remove this commissioner and consider this matter closed.
or
B) Mr. Jeffery Kessler here is going to make it his life's mission to remove the anti-trust provisions the league currently enjoys and create a situation where we remove Mr. Goodell anyway, along with the anti-trust protections we operate under, and we will begin not only competing on the field of play, but in the front offices as well.
And make no mistake about it, with my business acumen, I am going to rip your hearts out and eat them in front of you.
I'll give you gentlemen a minute to discuss this between yourselves.
