Anybody Know Any Good Jokes?

[Baron Samedi]

A Scottish shepherd was walking his fields when to his horror he noticed his neighbor mount
one of his sheep from behind and start pounding away, so he screams"

HEY! McCloud!!!! Get offa my ewe!!!!!

This is like a subtle seniority test....

 

[INPatFan]

A Maine sheep farmer and a NH sheep farmer were walking their common fence along the state border. They come upon a ewe with its head stuck in the fence. The NH farmer quickly unzips and has his way with the ewe. The NH farmer turns to the Maine farmer and says, "Don't just stand there, it's your turn now." The Maine farmer is reluctant. The NH farmer says, "Come on, give it a try!" The Maine farmer says, "OK, but promise you'll pull my head out of the fence after."

 

[BostonTim]

This is like a subtle seniority test....

So if you know the answer, does that mean you pass or you fail?

Cheers

 

[imapig]

.

 

[paperhanger]

The senile old goat in the white house! LOL!

 

[BostonTim]

By the sewer he lived;
By the sewer he died.
They said it was murder,
but it was sewercide.

Cheers

 

[imapig]

A good reminder for those days without your woman.

 

[Big/Sky/Fly]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUslK7_4JJQ

 

[imapig]

 

[Big/Sky/Fly]

An Indian chief fell into an outhouse.

Several days later a man went into the outhouse and noticed the chief. Startled the man asked, "How long have you been in there?"

"Many moons my son, many moons!"

 

[Big/Sky/Fly]

What does sex and the U.S. Military have in common?​

When you pull out at the wrong time you end up wasting 20 years and a lot of money

 

[Big/Sky/Fly]

OnlyFans just announced that they will be getting rid of all porn on their platform on October 1st…​

On October 2nd they will announce that they’ll be changing their name to “NoMore Fans”

 

[Big/Sky/Fly]

One Christmas morning, a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light and next to him is a little girl on her brand-new bike.​

The cop says to the young girl, "Nice bike you got there sweetheart. Did Santa bring that to you?"
“Yes, he did,” she replied sweetly.
With a smile on his face, the cop says "Well, next year, tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike,” and he proceeds to hand the girl a $20 ticket.
Before the cop rides off she says "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Playing along the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did.”
“Well, next year, tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.”

 

[Big/Sky/Fly]

4 tips for guys for successful relationships​

It’s really important to find a woman that you love and who loves you the same.
It’s really important to find a woman that sexually excites you and that she feels the same about you.
It’s really important to find a woman who will care for you and that you will care for her, in sickness and in health.
It’s absolutely fucking vital that these three women do not know each other.

 

[Big/Sky/Fly]

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.​

"Why"? Putin asks
" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor stuff, remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet!!"

 

[OSUBuckeye]

 

[OSUBuckeye]

 

[OSUBuckeye]

 

[BostonTim]

Way back, shortly after Lori and I were married, I had to tell her, Lori, Your underware is really too tight and too revealing.

Then wear your own, she said.

 

[No.1jag]

What’s the most common allergy among lesbians






Nuts