lord knows I dont ask for much...

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LVent*

LVent*

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A buddy of mine since we were in Kindergarten, found his dad dead yesterday(passed away from a heart attack). While he is being cool and collective thus far, I know he is near his breaking point and tomorrows viewing is likely going to be the last straw for him before he hits the wall. SO please just keep him in your thoughts, his dad was 54 and he is 26. For those of you that have see/went through an experiance you especially can understand how difficult it is, maybe your thoughts and what not can help him. :sulk:
 
Wow, that's terrible. Sadly, I'm not really good at consoling people, so I can't really help in that regard, but I'll pray for him.
 
That's a really tough situation, my sympathies for your friend. He and his family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
 
I'm so sorry for your friend. I wish him peace and strength in this difficult time. He will be in my thoughts.
 
My thoughts and prayers are with your friend. I can not imagine loosing my dad when I was 26...
 
54!? :(

He's lucky to have a friend like you who's thinking about him and will be there for him.
 
54 is pretty damn young these days. Best wishes and thoughts go out to you and your friend.
 
thanks guys, question for you all, me and a bunch of friends are going to pitch in money to do something for them, but the problem is we dont know what. Originally the plan was to pick up the check at the restaurant after the funeral, but his Mom's work is doing that so we have no idea what to do now. I am the oldest of the friends at 26(27 in dec) and none of us dealt with something like this before. Any suggestions?
 
LVent* on 10-05-2007 at 08:12 AM said:
thanks guys, question for you all, me and a bunch of friends are going to pitch in money to do something for them, but the problem is we dont know what. Originally the plan was to pick up the check at the restaurant after the funeral, but his Mom's work is doing that so we have no idea what to do now. I am the oldest of the friends at 26(27 in dec) and none of us dealt with something like this before. Any suggestions?
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I am truly sorry for your friend and his family.
Is the family Catholic? If so, mass cards are very consoling to the family. Having masses said for a loved one is very powerful and gives people a sense of peace with the situation.
 
Man..that's awful bro,my thoughts and prayers are with him.i went threw a similar thing with my friends mom,we walked in and she was dead,she died of an epalitic fit..my friend was cut up for months afterwards and is still a little messed up to this day...all you can do is just be there for him man,that's what i did, and still do for my mate now..look after him man
 
LVent* on 10-05-2007 at 08:12 AM said:
thanks guys, question for you all, me and a bunch of friends are going to pitch in money to do something for them, but the problem is we dont know what. Originally the plan was to pick up the check at the restaurant after the funeral, but his Mom's work is doing that so we have no idea what to do now. I am the oldest of the friends at 26(27 in dec) and none of us dealt with something like this before. Any suggestions?
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Is the family asking for donations to an organization? Many times, families don't want to deal with an enormous amount of flowers and will ask that the money go to a charity or research foundation instead. You can then send that organization a check in the loved one's memory. The organization will then notify the family that they received the donation on that person's memory.

On a more personal level, losing someone that young can be a financial hardship on the family. Sometimes a fund will be setup. Or simply offering to pay a funeral related bill or buying groceries for a couple of weeks. Don't be afraid to ask your friend what you can do to help.
 
Just two weeks ago I lost my best friend/brother-in-law to a sudden heart attack. Tomorrow I'm taking his 27 year old son out golfing.

All you can do is be there for him and allow him to grieve. He may not want anyone around at times and he may want people around him other times. Respect what he is going through with your friendship. Be there when he needs you and back away when you sense that he doesn't.

That's all you can really do.
 
DrewWho on 10-05-2007 at 08:16 AM said:
I am truly sorry for your friend and his family.
Is the family Catholic? If so, mass cards are very consoling to the family. Having masses said for a loved one is very powerful and gives people a sense of peace with the situation.
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Although Big Jim(as we called him) was catholic, he probably hasnt been to church in 10 years. I think we are leaning towards just giving his mom the money, I mean its not alot if there are 10 of us it will probably be around 1000. As Bid said that might be the best the help them relieve short term. I know it probably sounds cheesy but we wanted just something different to do for them and my creative mojo is just not there
 
I was 20 when my dad died (he was 47). Having your friends around is a great help. You personally might feel like you're not doing anything but you are - your friend might feel he has to support his mom and other family members, so you be there for him.
Don't be afraid to ask if he wants you around, and be sure to check up on him in the coming days, once the wake/funeral stuff is done. There's a lot of activity going on, then it is over and the majority of people are gone.
Bid's idea about chipping in for a charity is a good one - if the family doesn't specify anything, maybe something heart/pulmonary related.

edit: giving his mom the money is a nice idea also.
 
LVent - sorry to hear about your friend and his dad.

If you and your friends were close to the family, try to stop by over the next weeks and bring some home cooking for the family.

If it seems like your friend needs to get away, be there for him and go out and watch a game or something.

As hard as it may sound, try to keep upbeat and positive.
 
just be there for him, let him vent at you if he wants

and see if there is anything the group can do around the house to help out, was there something the dad was doing that you guys could help finish up. A group can knock out a project quickly if you guys have the skills
 
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