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HSanders said:
With life experience, I have come to the conclusion that for me, a relationship is like an economic system: best if it is always a voluntary and mutually beneficial 2 way exchange. When I am in a "have to" to do something situation due to a committment even though I am not getting "in kind" from the other party, I just get too resentful.
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My philosophy is that each half of a committed relationship has to be willing to do more than 50% of the actual work, i.e, the stuff that is neither easy or fun.

Ideally it should be no more than around 55%, either, or the resentment does tend to build up and somebody starts feeling used and shit starts going sideways or backwards. The point it it has to be close to equal effort.

If both oars are in the water and you take the time to appreciate the efforts of your partner, then that tends to work out in my experience.

No magic formula exists and I know people that seem happy enough even though they are doing way more than 55%, but I see people who are in trouble and they don't even know it yet. They are get out of balance and eventually get an attitude.

Romance and attraction might get the ball rolling, but sweat equity goes a long way towards keeping it that way.
 
My mom is not OK today. So any prayers or energy to the universe would be appreciated.

Something going on in her beautiful mind recently and it's heartbreaking.
 
johnlocke said:
My mom is not OK today. So any prayers or energy to the universe would be appreciated.

Something going on in her beautiful mind recently and it's heartbreaking.
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I'm sorry to hear that, JL.

There isn't much worse than mental issues whether you call it dementia or alzheimers. It's all horrible for all concerned.

I have a cousin who used to post here a long time back as DropKickMurphy and we've always been close. Some years back we were heading back from Cape Cod and he was driving. I noticed he kept hitting the brakes for no apparent reason and I asked him WTF was wrong. I knew he wasn't drunk.

He eventually revealed that he's been diagnosed with a rare form of early onset Alzheimers known as Posterior Cortical Atrophy or PCA. The difference is that the plaques and tau proteins which fuck up the connections begin in the back of the brain where visual processing takes place instead of the more common memory issues.

This was about 6 years ago and he's been battling it ever since and it's been brutal. He has always been incredibly smart and articulate and still is but he can't work, drive or read. He can't dress himself without help, yet when I get together with him he remembers everything that we ever did. His speech is starting to be a struggle.

He has walked between 4 and 8 miles a day every single day without fail since January of 2018. He has family members download audiobooks for him and just finished War and Peace. He had to listen to it a couple of times, but he understood it. The fucking balls on this guy are amazing because unlike many alzheimers victims he knows exactly what is happening to him and he doesn't let it beat him even as his world grows smaller. I don't really have words for his kind of courage.

They are currently working on a human clinical trial at Mass General that involves sending 40MHZ light and sound pulses into the patient's brains by using special goggles and headphones. The animal phase of this method had results which were reputed to be somewhere between surprising and incredible. Some MIT scientists came up with the concept which mimics the gamma waves that our brains uses to fire neurons or something like that. I'm not a brain surgeon.

I'm not saying this will definitely work, but it sure would be a huge benefit to mankind if they can figure this thing out and provide a non-invasive treatment for a condition that causes so many so much pain.

Hopefully, soon.
 
johnlocke said:
My mom is not OK today. So any prayers or energy to the universe would be appreciated.

Something going on in her beautiful mind recently and it's heartbreaking.
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I just prayed for you and your mom.

I also believe I know what you're going through.

A little over ten ears ago, my mother started exhibiting signs of dementia before the age of 60. Four years ago she was diagnosed with alzheimers.

My dad held on far longer than he should have, but we finally moved my mom into an alzheimers facility last month.

None of this easy, especially watching a loved one, a mother, deteriorate into someone they are not.
 
OMG Hawg. All the best to him and thank you.

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk
 
Hawg73 said:
I'm sorry to hear that, JL.

There isn't much worse than mental issues whether you call it dementia or alzheimers. It's all horrible for all concerned.

I have a cousin who used to post here a long time back as DropKickMurphy and we've always been close. Some years back we were heading back from Cape Cod and he was driving. I noticed he kept hitting the brakes for no apparent reason and I asked him WTF was wrong. I knew he wasn't drunk.

He eventually revealed that he's been diagnosed with a rare form of early onset Alzheimers known as Posterior Cortical Atrophy or PCA. The difference is that the plaques and tau proteins which fuck up the connections begin in the back of the brain where visual processing takes place instead of the more common memory issues.

This was about 6 years ago and he's been battling it ever since and it's been brutal. He has always been incredibly smart and articulate and still is but he can't work, drive or read. He can't dress himself without help, yet when I get together with him he remembers everything that we ever did. His speech is starting to be a struggle.

He has walked between 4 and 8 miles a day every single day without fail since January of 2018. He has family members download audiobooks for him and just finished War and Peace. He had to listen to it a couple of times, but he understood it. The fucking balls on this guy are amazing because unlike many alzheimers victims he knows exactly what is happening to him and he doesn't let it beat him even as his world grows smaller. I don't really have words for his kind of courage.

They are currently working on a human clinical trial at Mass General that involves sending 40MHZ light and sound pulses into the patient's brains by using special goggles and headphones. The animal phase of this method had results which were reputed to be somewhere between surprising and incredible. Some MIT scientists came up with the concept which mimics the gamma waves that our brains uses to fire neurons or something like that. I'm not a brain surgeon.

I'm not saying this will definitely work, but it sure would be a huge benefit to mankind if they can figure this thing out and provide a non-invasive treatment for a condition that causes so many so much pain.

Hopefully, soon.
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There's your brave and truly heroic cousin, DKM whom many of us remember, and then there are all those stinking cowards out there busy tearing down our country, hell bent on destroying all we hold dear. Prayers, and give him our love.
 
Sorry to hear Hawg.

Had the pleasure of meeting and socializing with DKM a couple of times. I can attest to Hawgs description. A great guy.

My dad is in early demsntia/Alzheimer’s now. Not terrible. But you can see his struggles to converse, and then the repetition when he does.

It’s a truly saddening affliction for everyone involved.
 
Hawg73 said:
I'm sorry to hear that, JL.

There isn't much worse than mental issues whether you call it dementia or alzheimers. It's all horrible for all concerned.

I have a cousin who used to post here a long time back as DropKickMurphy and we've always been close. Some years back we were heading back from Cape Cod and he was driving. I noticed he kept hitting the brakes for no apparent reason and I asked him WTF was wrong. I knew he wasn't drunk.

He eventually revealed that he's been diagnosed with a rare form of early onset Alzheimers known as Posterior Cortical Atrophy or PCA. The difference is that the plaques and tau proteins which fuck up the connections begin in the back of the brain where visual processing takes place instead of the more common memory issues.

This was about 6 years ago and he's been battling it ever since and it's been brutal. He has always been incredibly smart and articulate and still is but he can't work, drive or read. He can't dress himself without help, yet when I get together with him he remembers everything that we ever did. His speech is starting to be a struggle.

He has walked between 4 and 8 miles a day every single day without fail since January of 2018. He has family members download audiobooks for him and just finished War and Peace. He had to listen to it a couple of times, but he understood it. The fucking balls on this guy are amazing because unlike many alzheimers victims he knows exactly what is happening to him and he doesn't let it beat him even as his world grows smaller. I don't really have words for his kind of courage.

They are currently working on a human clinical trial at Mass General that involves sending 40MHZ light and sound pulses into the patient's brains by using special goggles and headphones. The animal phase of this method had results which were reputed to be somewhere between surprising and incredible. Some MIT scientists came up with the concept which mimics the gamma waves that our brains uses to fire neurons or something like that. I'm not a brain surgeon.

I'm not saying this will definitely work, but it sure would be a huge benefit to mankind if they can figure this thing out and provide a non-invasive treatment for a condition that causes so many so much pain.

Hopefully, soon.
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I remember your cousin well.

As impressive to me as the human body is, some of our ailments really piss me off. Alzheimers is one of them.

Thoughts and prayers for your cousin.

And for your mom JL.
 
Ok, I just spoke to my mom and she sounded so much better. She's still got a bit to go but just oh, so much better.

I'm calling her PC tomorrow to make sure he knows what's going on but she really is so much better this evening.

Thank you guys so much for the support, prayers and energy to the universe. This has been difficult. But she seems pretty good.
 
johnlocke said:
Ok, I just spoke to my mom and she sounded so much better. She's still got a bit to go but just oh, so much better.

I'm calling her PC tomorrow to make sure he knows what's going on but she really is so much better this evening.

Thank you guys so much for the support, prayers and energy to the universe. This has been difficult. But she seems pretty good.
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Terrific. Prayers continue,
 
Random thought: I am realizing I have way better dance moves when I am moving to the blues and I wonder what that says about me.

PS. For everyone that's posted above please know whenever I read the post I say orayer for your situation. Dealing with dimentia and alzhemer's with both folks, Had a nice visit with them yesterday with my wife and daughter. Sucks to see the progression and especially now with Covid and not being able to hug them.
 
AnOldTroll said:
Random thought: I am realizing I have way better dance moves when I am moving to the blues and I wonder what that says about me.

PS. For everyone that's posted above please know whenever I read the post I say orayer for your situation. Dealing with dimentia and alzhemer's with both folks, Had a nice visit with them yesterday with my wife and daughter. Sucks to see the progression and especially now with Covid and not being able to hug them.
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Huge hugz my friend.

Didn't mean this to turn into a kinda downer thread a some points. Just that life has gotten in the way for some of us.

But like I think I posted previously, Robert Frost when in his 80's was asked what he had learned about life in all his years he just in 3 words summed it all up for him, "It goes on". Brilliance.
 
For all those affected by Alzheimer's I recommend they read a book called "On Pluto: Inside the Mind of Alzheimers" by Greg O'Brien.

O'Brien is a Cape Cod guy and an award-winning journalist who discovered, quite by accident, that he was in the early stages of Alzheimer's and he decided to write about it while he still could.

I went to see him speak at Harvard not long after learning of my cousin's diagnosis and it was a powerful experience even though O'Brien was then well in the grip of the disease. His whole family was there and it was clear that they were devastated and wished he'd just stay home, but he was determined to try to make something positive out of a negative, no matter who hard it was, and I believe he did just that. It was quite a courageous thing to witness.

The basic reason I recommend the book is that he actually explains what it is like from the victim's perspective and provides insight (at times heartbreaking) into what these folks are actually feeling and experiencing. I believe it greatly added to my own understanding of the topic which had been close to zero.

I can't speak for everybody who read it, but it made me feel somewhat calmer and better prepared at a time when I needed something/anything that could do so.

It won't change what's coming for anybody, but reading this book might help folks cope a little bit better, so I recommend it and sincerely hope it can provide some measure of comfort, knowledge and practical understanding for somebody out there.

I'm sincerely sorry for everybody here affected by Alzheimer's/dementia and wish peace and strength to all. It is definitely one of the hardest things this life can throw at us.
 
How is it that I keep blowing out the crotch in all my Walmart bought shorts? :shrug:

I'm guessing there is an Chinese joke in there somewhere. ROFL
 
Hawg73 said:
For all those affected by Alzheimer's I recommend they read a book called "On Pluto: Inside the Mind of Alzheimers" by Greg O'Brien.

O'Brien is a Cape Cod guy and an award-winning journalist who discovered, quite by accident, that he was in the early stages of Alzheimer's and he decided to write about it while he still could.

I went to see him speak at Harvard not long after learning of my cousin's diagnosis and it was a powerful experience even though O'Brien was then well in the grip of the disease. His whole family was there and it was clear that they were devastated and wished he'd just stay home, but he was determined to try to make something positive out of a negative, no matter who hard it was, and I believe he did just that. It was quite a courageous thing to witness.

The basic reason I recommend the book is that he actually explains what it is like from the victim's perspective and provides insight (at times heartbreaking) into what these folks are actually feeling and experiencing. I believe it greatly added to my own understanding of the topic which had been close to zero.

I can't speak for everybody who read it, but it made me feel somewhat calmer and better prepared at a time when I needed something/anything that could do so.

It won't change what's coming for anybody, but reading this book might help folks cope a little bit better, so I recommend it and sincerely hope it can provide some measure of comfort, knowledge and practical understanding for somebody out there.

I'm sincerely sorry for everybody here affected by Alzheimer's/dementia and wish peace and strength to all. It is definitely one of the hardest things this life can throw at us.
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Thank you for this, Hawg. My BFF's Grammy, 102 years old today, just wow, has dementia and my BFF's dad is developing a cognitive issue, may be Alzheimers.

She took classes when her gram started going down hill and she told me about this guys work so I read a bit. Just incredible and heartbreaking like you described.

Grammy, almost thankfully is just mostly nonverbal, does need help with some essentials but can still eat and stuff on her own.

She smiles a lot so I often wonder if she is living out her beautiful life in her mind. 10 children and just a wonderful human and country life.

At least I hope that's the case and what keeps her going.
 
Can't find the clip on YouTube so I'll just use Muse's emoji here.

I gotta :muse:, I gotta :muse:, hey, hey hey I gotta :muse:.

It's actually an apple but I'm kinda loving it.

Can't lie, it felt a little weird typing my dear married friend Muse's name on the I gotta's. ROFL

Buckwheat-.jpg
 
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