The Official Real Life Happens PP Member Support Thread

Share this page

AnOldTroll said:
I think my mom is going to pass over in the next few days. I hope not. I know what a fighter she is. But maybe she's had enough.I said my stuff. I hope she heard it.
Click to expand...
I feel and fear my mom is close also. My last two calls she was not responsive. I tried yesterday and the staff had to hold the phone for her like last week. She has Alzheimer's, the whole family is afflicted with it. Just got a sinking feeling. But I still talk so she can hear me and tell her I love her. I am not living back home. I visit yearly and stay 4-6 weeks. Otherwise I call often. It's my only contact apart from sending her cards. I feel helpless.
 
Last edited:
Muse said:
I feel and fear my mom is close also. My last two calls she was not responsive. I tried yesterday and the staff had to hold the phone for her like last week. She has Alzheimer's, the whole family is afflicted with it. Just got a sinking feeling. But I still talk so she can hear me and tell her I love her. I am not living back home. I visit yearly and stay 4-6 weeks. Otherwise I call often. It's my only contact apart from sending her cards. I feel helpless.
Click to expand...
It has to be so hard for you being so far away. Let me know if there's anything you need
 
Muse said:
I feel and fear my mom is close also. My last two calls she was not responsive. I tried yesterday and the staff had to hold the phone for her like last week. She has Alzheimer's, the whole family is afflicted with it. Just got a sinking feeling. But I still talk so she can hear me and tell her I love her. I am not living back home. I visit yearly and stay 4-6 weeks. Otherwise I call often. It's my only contact apart from sending her cards. I feel helpless.
Click to expand...
So sorry to hear, Muse, I’ll keep you in my thoughts as well. (((((Hugs)))))

~Dee~
 
Muse said:
I feel and fear my mom is close also. My last two calls she was not responsive. I tried yesterday and the staff had to hold the phone for her like last week. She has Alzheimer's, the whole family is afflicted with it. Just got a sinking feeling. But I still talk so she can hear me and tell her I love her. I am not living back home. I visit yearly and stay 4-6 weeks. Otherwise I call often. It's my only contact apart from sending her cards. I feel helpless.
Click to expand...
Muse this is for you and OldTroll
We often find ourselves reaching out to find the words to tell a family member or friend how we feel as we watch them pass on.
The words never seem like enough and often we don't know if they understood what we tried to say.
As a person on the other end I can tell you we do hear you and phone calls when you can not be there are wonderful.
Yes sometime we will not remember your name or how you are connected to us. but each time you try is important to us.
We might seem like we don't want you there at times but in truth we are just to confused to put the puzzle together at that moment. Don't stop trying.
We do love you all and we will carry that love forever as should you.
Be at peace that you have been what you are able to be. We may not understand why you are not there more. But we have seen our share of friends and family go this road also.
Don't be angry at yourselves or at us. We are all trying our best. For me my faith has helped be prepare for what will come. We always hope that you will find the peace and comfort you will need in the times to come.
For myself you folks have all become a part of my extended family. I love you all for it. I have someone who will post of my passing when it comes so you will all know I thought of you.
 
Patriots-Lifer said:
Muse this is for you and OldTroll
We often find ourselves reaching out to find the words to tell a family member or friend how we feel as we watch them pass on.
The words never seem like enough and often we don't know if they understood what we tried to say.
As a person on the other end I can tell you we do hear you and phone calls when you can not be there are wonderful.
Yes sometime we will not remember your name or how you are connected to us. but each time you try is important to us.
We might seem like we don't want you there at times but in truth we are just to confused to put the puzzle together at that moment. Don't stop trying.
We do love you all and we will carry that love forever as should you.
Be at peace that you have been what you are able to be. We may not understand why you are not there more. But we have seen our share of friends and family go this road also.
Don't be angry at yourselves or at us. We are all trying our best. For me my faith has helped be prepare for what will come. We always hope that you will find the peace and comfort you will need in the times to come.
For myself you folks have all become a part of my extended family. I love you all for it. I have someone who will post of my passing when it comes so you will all know I thought of you.
Click to expand...
this is lovely, thank you🙂 as someone with experience watching from this side of things, i would get upset with myself for impatience, and also later wonder if i did enough to make sure my dad knew i loved him.
 
my father loved getting together and celebrating every holiday, but he loved it because he loved giving gifts, taking people to dinner, etc. , not for attention for himself.
the last day i ever saw my father, i had brought him a father's day card, even though he was at the point i thought he wouldn't be able to understand. he was pretty non-verbal by then, and i'm not sure he knew me. he would usually open any card i gave him quickly, tearing the top of the envelope jaggedly to get to what was inside. he used to joke that it was obvious we were related because i open envelopes that way too. he wasn't interested in the card this time, and didn't open it. i wasn't surprised. so i left him the card, visited as much as i could, and left. after he died, i went to sort through his things at the retirement place. i found that father's day card with the envelope ripped jaggedly apart. i believe he knew somehow within him i was there, and opened that card and knew i loved him.❤
 
My Dad passed 6 months ago. He was in the later stages of dementia. Luckily he was close so I got to see him a lot and he still recognized us (his daughters) but not so much his grandkids or anyone else.

He had a nasty fall and broke his hip. He was in the hospital for a few weeks (had surgery to try and give him a chance) and one day, I went to sit with him for his dinner like I usually did and I decided to go earlier and spend more time with him. He was completely lucid - asking me questions that he hadn't asked in recent years. It was probably one of my most favorite times with him. He unfortunately developed a massive infection 2 days later and with his other health issues, we decided to let him go - he was gone within 24 hours. As hard as it was, we (my sisters, my Mom, and I) were by his side the whole time knowing the end was near. He waited until all the grandkids stepped out of the room leaving just us and Mom, took one last deep breath and was gone. As painful as it was to watch him leave this world, I will be forever grateful for that we were all together with him. I know in my heart of hearts he knew we were there with him even if we thought he wasn't.
 
MaineMimi said:
My Dad passed 6 months ago. He was in the later stages of dementia. Luckily he was close so I got to see him a lot and he still recognized us (his daughters) but not so much his grandkids or anyone else.

He had a nasty fall and broke his hip. He was in the hospital for a few weeks (had surgery to try and give him a chance) and one day, I went to sit with him for his dinner like I usually did and I decided to go earlier and spend more time with him. He was completely lucid - asking me questions that he hadn't asked in recent years. It was probably one of my most favorite times with him. He unfortunately developed a massive infection 2 days later and with his other health issues, we decided to let him go - he was gone within 24 hours. As hard as it was, we (my sisters, my Mom, and I) were by his side the whole time knowing the end was near. He waited until all the grandkids stepped out of the room leaving just us and Mom, took one last deep breath and was gone. As painful as it was to watch him leave this world, I will be forever grateful for that we were all together with him. I know in my heart of hearts he knew we were there with him even if we thought he wasn't.
Click to expand...
I love this.
 
MaineMimi said:
My Dad passed 6 months ago. He was in the later stages of dementia. Luckily he was close so I got to see him a lot and he still recognized us (his daughters) but not so much his grandkids or anyone else.

He had a nasty fall and broke his hip. He was in the hospital for a few weeks (had surgery to try and give him a chance) and one day, I went to sit with him for his dinner like I usually did and I decided to go earlier and spend more time with him. He was completely lucid - asking me questions that he hadn't asked in recent years. It was probably one of my most favorite times with him. He unfortunately developed a massive infection 2 days later and with his other health issues, we decided to let him go - he was gone within 24 hours. As hard as it was, we (my sisters, my Mom, and I) were by his side the whole time knowing the end was near. He waited until all the grandkids stepped out of the room leaving just us and Mom, took one last deep breath and was gone. As painful as it was to watch him leave this world, I will be forever grateful for that we were all together with him. I know in my heart of hearts he knew we were there with him even if we thought he wasn't.
Click to expand...
You were flat out blessed. I had an in depth farewell chat with mom, but missed it with Dad. Old ssad story, never got to tell dad. . .

Cheers, BostonTim
 
AnOldTroll said:
IF my mom goes, my dad will follow soon. Both almost part of the greatest generation. Neither know what is going on these days, and I am relieved about that. Anyway mom's still fighting.
Click to expand...
I’m sorry AOT my dad passed first we all got to say good bye. My mom survived for 7 years but not because she wasn’t giving up but because she had ALS unknown to us.... she passed earlier then thought, we never really got to say goodbye. She was diagnosed 7 months before she passed.

~Dee~
 
I know mom doesn't know me.
deec77 said:
I’m sorry AOT my dad passed first we all got to say good bye. My mom survived for 7 years but not because she wasn’t giving up but because she had ALS unknown to us.... she passed earlier then thought, we never really got to say goodbye. She was diagnosed 7 months before she passed.

~Dee~
Click to expand...
When my father died I was five. I wasn't allowed to visit him due to hospital rules. I didn't get to say goodbye. I thought he was coming home, didn't understand he had passed. To me that is just plain out cruel. It is something that I carried for a while.Sorry you didn't get to say goodbye,sis.
 
Muse said:
I know mom doesn't know me.

When my father died I was five. I wasn't allowed to visit him due to hospital rules. I didn't get to say goodbye. I thought he was coming home, didn't understand he had passed. To me that is just plain out cruel. It is something that I carried for a while.Sorry you didn't get to say goodbye,sis.
Click to expand...
So so sorry when my granddad my second dad he and I had a very special relationship there were 40 of us grandchildren I was the only one that had a nick name Daisy, he had a stroke ... they wanted to move him to a convalescent home he didn’t want anything to do with that he passed away in the ambulance on his way to a convalescent home .... I remember the day like it was yesterday I was in the 8th grade I still miss him until this day. Letting go is hard...sorry about your dad I can’t imagine... I was very close to him my dad. He broke my heart once but he made up for it ten fold. My mom and I weren’t always close but we came to understand each other after I had my first child. You are in my thoughts my friend always.

~Dee~
 
Just praying bringing my dilemma here in this thread is helpful.
I am old enough now to understand the process.
Still sucks.

They have had her cooled down. Gonna warm her up now and see.
My brothers are here. A blessing.

Also just want to say, she's 90 and has no wrinkles. nada.
 
Last edited:
We're finally biting the bullet and going to our son's house tomorrow to bring all of his stuff home. Really. Really fucking dreading this. The wife and I decided that this is something that we just want to do ourselves. All of his roommates will be there to help with any heavy lifting and we're going to go through everything with them to see if there's any really meaningful stuff that they would like to keep around since they will all be staying in the house for another year and a half.
 
Alk said:
We're finally biting the bullet and going to our son's house tomorrow to bring all of his stuff home. Really. Really fucking dreading this. The wife and I decided that this is something that we just want to do ourselves. All of his roommates will be there to help with any heavy lifting and we're going to go through everything with them to see if there's any really meaningful stuff that they would like to keep around since they will all be staying in the house for another year and a half.
Click to expand...
The hardest thing I have had to do was clean my parents house after my brother passed away. But the most amazing part was the memories that made us smile, good luck and I can’t image.

~Dee~
 
deec77 said:
The hardest thing I have had to do was clean my parents house after my brother passed away. But the most amazing part was the memories that made us smile, good luck and I can’t image.

~Dee~
Click to expand...
Yep, there is a small part of me that thinks there will be some good laughs to be had but the rest of me just doesn't wanna.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top