Back, with a current story

[BionicPatriot]

Well, what can I say? Hows everyone been? Its been awhile since I've psoted here, so do forgive. For any new people to the board, I used to be a postaholic here. The summer has certainly kept me busy, as have other things, but I have a horrible experience today I wanna get off my chest..I want your thoughts on this one too.

My parents are dog lovers, we've had many golden retrievers. Before I was born, they had 3 of them. One died of old age, one was put down due to bad hips, the other had to be put down because she was half dead when she got hit by a Ford Ranger. Anyway, needless to say, we got two other golden retrievers. I was still a young pup the time we got these guys. Their names are Shadow and Dolly.

Dolly was the eldest, and Shadow the youngest. Eventually, that dark time came. Father time ran his hands along Dolly. Her hips, as typical in golden retrievers were wearing out. So today I helped my parents get the dog to the vet because they knew in the back of their heads they'd have to put her down, so they couldn't take it. The doctor examined the dog, and found out it wasn't even her hips. She had a tumor, and this thing was HUGE. They were thinking along the spleen. My mom was telling me she wasn't eating much for the last week. She would sit down, and shit and piss herself. She was like a criple.

However, the dog was walking with a limp today. It was the first time I've seen her walking in awhile. Anyway, after the doc examined her, he laid out the rules for us. It was either get her to a special examiner, spend 2500 (money we don't have) on surgery at her age she could possibly die. Or, let her come home and die. Or, lay her down. My dad said no way and wanted to bring her home. But my mom and I talked to my dad. I told him there's no way we have the 2500 to spend on it right now, for something that will do no good in the end. So, in the end, we laid her down. My dad walked out of the room because he couldn't stand it. My mom was holding her head as I watched, and Is wear to you, I have been thru many hard times in my life without shedding a tear, and the second we decided to lay her down I musta teared up more than I have in years.

Anyway, I'm wondering..Should we have let it come home and die with the other dog? I saw the other dog, and I can tell he's wondering where the hell is Dolly at. Should we have brought her home? Or did we make the right choice taking her out of her misery quickly?

 

[Alcoholic9*]

Sounds like she was in a lot of pain so you did the right thing I think. $2500 is a lot of money and at her age it probably wasn't worth it especially when you don't have it. I think she'd understand.

Coincidently I have some kind of lab mix I picked up from the pound when I moved here also named Shadow.

 

[OSUBuckeye]

I truly feel you made the right call. I have been down this road with one of my dogs. She (German Shepherd ) was 14 and her hips were pretty much shot. She was in a lot of pain & the vet told me she may live a couple more months but the discomfort would be tough to watch plus the care ( like your dog " potty" problems) she would need could become difficult. So I decided to put her down & end her agony. It was very tough because dogs do become part of your family. But there comes a time my friend when they are just existing & not living. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[OSUBuckeye]

Sounds like she was in a lot of pain so you did the right thing I think. $2500 is a lot of money and at her age it probably wasn't worth it especially when you don't have it. I think she'd understand.

Coincidently I have some kind of lab mix I picked up from the pound when I moved here also named Shadow.

Good for you A9! Always glad to hear that someone saved a pound dog. I hear they don't care too much for Mormons.

 

[Alcoholic9*]

Good for you A9! Always glad to hear that someone saved a pound dog. I hear they don't care much too for Mormons.

That's how I picked her out. Walked up and down the aisle of cages holding the Book of Mormon. She started barking and growling like a mofo. Right then and there I knew she was the dog for me.

 

[B A Rabbit]

Anyway, I'm wondering..Should we have let it come home and die with the other dog? I saw the other dog, and I can tell he's wondering where the hell is Dolly at. Should we have brought her home? Or did we make the right choice taking her out of her misery quickly?

There is no wrong answer I'm afaraid. You did nothing cruel and your actions where born out of your love for your family member who was, despite whatever aligement she had, was in pain.

Weighing the options, as a family, You came to a conclusion as to what course of action to take, And your family followed through with it.

Don't beat yourself up by second guessing your actions. Losing a loved one is not an easy thing to do, So don't let her precious life come to a close with doubt.

And as for Dolly, He too will suffer depression. And so another choice quickly confronts you. Do you try and replace Shadow so Dolly's depression will pass quicker or do you honor Shadows life by leaving the sapce created with his depature open?

Again, neither option is wrong. But it is a decission you must make as a family. And have the courage to accept your actions as proper.


And never forget the Rainbow Bridge.

I know Denver will be there when I pass. Bigwig also. Both hopefully playing with each other.

 

[bideau]

BP, you just hit a still raw nerve for me. I had to put down our "baby" this past December as a result of spleen cancer. There's still a very empty feeling in our house.

When our Angel was diagnosed, we were told that there was very little that could be done other than extending her time with us by a few months. The doctor detected this during a routine examination. The vet wasn't 100% positive, but only an expensive ultrasound would verify it. But the result wouldn't change the prognosis. Although surgery was an option, it would only give her a little more time and was very risky. Just as your vet said, ours told us that it's common for dogs to bleed out during spleen surgery.

So we opted to just monitor her condition. The vet felt that it was in an early stage, so she estimated that she may have 4-6 months max. We were also informed that when it was her time, it would happen very quickly. She did well for a couple of months. That gave me false hope that maybe she didn't have cancer after all. But one night, she just got sick. The next morning, she woke up in alot of pain. At that point, the doctor told me she wouldn't make it through the day and there was no way I could let her stay in pain for even a few more minutes.

It sounds like your dog was in a more advance stage since she was already in pain. I doubt that you would have had more than a few more days with her. By not allowing her to suffer any longer, you and your parents gave her a final gift. As difficult as it was to make that decision, you would have regretted your decision if she had lived her last few days in pain.

The next few months will be tough and you'll never truly get over it. It amazing how these four legged fur balls just grab your heart and don't let go.

 

[harrisonhits]

So sorry BP. I don't know that having her pass at home would have helped the other dog. They would know the first was in bad condition because Shadow could smell the tumor and the general state of the other dog.

What I would do is sit and talk wtih Shadow, tell her that Dolly has passed away and that you are sorry his packmate is gone. Just explain it to him, he'll understand. He will mourn her like you will, and it will help him. I know it sounds a little strange, but Shadow will understand.

My chocolate lab is going to be 14 in August and her time is approaching so I feel so much what you have gone through.

By the way for everyone with dogs. One of the reasons my lab has made it this old in decent shape is called Glycoflex. It is a treatment for the joints and arthritis, essentially replacing cartilidge, and it is a not very expensive pill. Maybe $60 for two months worth. Even though she can't see or hear very well anymore, she can still jump around and the arthritis that set in a few years ago was held off and reversed with this stuff. Ask your vet they have to prescribe it.

 

[HelenaHandbsket]

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Our pets really do become like our children. (Though if you ask my kids they think our dog is my favorite.)

I haven't yet had to make that decision by myself and can only imagine how difficult it is.

If it is any consolation, I agree that you made the best decision for Dolly & your family.

Give Shadow some extra love & understanding, you two can help each other to heal.

 

[Darth Despot]

These are always difficult desisions but I always ask myself what is in the best interests of the family. I think your choice was correct.

 

[JD10367]

Our pets really do become like our children. (Though if you ask my kids they think our dog is my favorite.)

I don't have any kids, but from what I've seen and heard I think pets are better. Pets don't dent the car, swipe money from your pocketbook, get arrested, swear at you, drink or do drugs, get pregnant (okay, well they do that, but it's easier to deal with)...

Pets offer unconditional love. (On the condition that you feed them, of course.) You probably spend more time with your pet(s) than with people, even your spouse. So in a way they're better than them as well. (Think about it; when you're home, the pet's under your feet or on your lap. Your spouse? Probably off surfing the Web for porn, LOL...) Your pet just wants a pat or a hug (whereas your spouse wants your money, and to know what you're thinking all the time). Your pet would be the first to defend you from an intruder (except for my cat, which would probably just ask the intruder for a Pounce treat).

And don't even compare pets to extended family. The obnoxious brother-in-law who likes to drink your beer? The annoying mother-in-law who in her eyes you can do no good? The aunts and uncles who live to do nothing but squabble with family members? No comparison!

Of course we grow attached to our pets. How could we not?

 

[Hawg73]

There was no need of bringing a terribly sick dog home because of worrying about how the other dog would feel.

There were no happy outcomes no matter what was done and I believe you chose the most humane course of action -- painful as it was.

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and believe it was right.

Nice to hear from you again, Bio. Don't be a stranger.

 

[Moebius]

Life's little coincidences....

We just had to put our 14 year old Cocker Spaniel down Tuesday. She was in hear very very golden years, a little past the average age, but it's still the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I've had pets many times, some died naturally or unnaturally (hit by car), but had never had one this length of time.

Add to that my wife (then girlfriend, well, not even that yet, but you get the idea) had only just gotten her as a puppy shortly before I met her, so the dog has been part of our entire relationship together.

Like BP, though for different reasons, we're filled with second thoughts. In our case, Rafferty (the pooch), who was certainly showing some age, but for the most part still acted like a puppy, started having occasional fainting spells and seizures about 2 months ago. Usually would come at a moment of over-excitement, she'd kind of flop over on her side and twitch. Usually lasted about 5-10 seconds, then she'd go on like nothing happened. We took her to the vet who could find no indicators of anything wrong (no tumors) except a high grade heart murmur. She recommended some neurological testing and the like (much like BP, much $$$ that we simply did not have), but admitted that there was a good chance it was just age catching up. So, we got some meds from the vet and went back home. For the most part, things quieted down, only the very occasional seizure or stuff, and things were pretty good. We even had to leave her in the kennel to travel back South to a friends wedding, and she was fine for that too, in fact quite playful when we got back.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. We got home one night, Raff's jumping and happy to see us, then a small seizure comes. Only this one was a little different. She started bending backwards to the point where it made her yelp in pain. Honestly, we thought her back was about to snap. But, it stopped, she sat still for a few moments, then was back to being a puppy. Still, we had a gut feeling on this one. We were surprised to see no problems for the next two weeks, and even Sunday she was her normal puppy self. Then Sunday night she started panting..ALOT. In fact non-stop. By the time I went to bed, she was just sitting in the corner or other odd places, sitting up and panting. After a few minutes, you could see her eyes roll into her head a bit and she'd start to faint, usually catching herself at the last second. Plus she hadn't eaten all day and wouldn't even eat a treat.

Monday evening I took her to the vet (wife was at work), and for the first time the vet actually saw the fainting spells we had been trying to describe to her. I could tell from her eyes that she thought it was bad. Still, she recommended waiting through Monday night to see if she'd eat. I grabbed a can of food on the way out, which Rafferty usually inhales within 30 seconds of it hitting her bowl, and she wouldn't touch it. We even tried some human food which she always snatched...nothing.

So, the wife and I, after some teary discussion decided it was time, made the appointment Tuesday morning and she was laid down at 1:22pm. Even to the last, she was kind of happy and puppy like (which is both good and heart wrenching at the same time).

Since then, we've been caught up in wondering what happened so suddenly to cause the down turn. Was it something we did? Could we have helped prevent it? Would she have gotten better and started eating again?

In my heart, I feel we did the right thing as opposed to letting her starve to death, or worse have a seizure bad enough to kill her. But my mind (and especially the wife's) keeps wondering the what if questions.

Add to this that I was supposed to leave town Tuesday evening (thanks to a cancellation didn't leave till Wednesday morning, which meant we were able to spend at least one night together consoling) and this has been one seriously crappy week.

Sorry for the long rant, but I've needed to let that out for a while now.

 

[BionicPatriot]

It's fine, that's what mine was...Somewhat of a rant. After sleeping on it I can think better than I could yesterday. Ya know, last sunday I remember walking into the house, my mom was asleep..I saw the dog in the corner and I could see shit on the floors, and seeing her like that all I could think in my head was that she was gone, period. This dog was huge man (115 pounds, goldens should only be in the mid 80's) so I picked her up and washed her doen..No lie, when I washed her off, piss went everywhere.


When I think about that, I think we made the right decision. While I don't know if the dog really was in THAT much pain (I'm sue a tumor that large and messing yourself was pain enough tho) I didn't wanna see the dog like that anymore. I've never seen a more pitiful animal in my life at that point. Maybe it's just because it was my own dog, but that was sad. I do think we made the right decision, but what broke me in half was just seeing the dog lie there motionless. Man I'll tell ya, I remmeber how young I was when my mom brought her home. We put her in a basket and rocked her when we first had her..She was so small back then.

I think it's the memories like that, they stick with you forever. I doubt they'll buy another dog, I don't see why. I wont be here much longer, my parents are getting old, and why go thru all the mess of a dog, then have to put it down again? At my parents age, it's just not worth it.

 

[bideau]

I think it's the memories like that, they stick with you forever. I doubt they'll buy another dog, I don't see why. I wont be here much longer, my parents are getting old, and why go thru all the mess of a dog, then have to put it down again? At my parents age, it's just not worth it.

The decision to get another dog is a very personal choice. Everyone feels differently. I have an aunt who has to have a dog in her life. I don't think she's ever gone more than a few weeks without one. For my wife and I, we will not be getting another one in the forseeable future. One reason is that we'd like to be able to go somewhere on a whim and not have to deal with dog care. But, more importantly, it just wouldn't feel right for us. It's hard to explain, but she held a very special place of our heart and I don't think there's room in there for another one.

 

[mikiemo83]

Lost Mozart, a shar pei, in 1993 - 11 years later I finally got Riley, a Golden, because I had kids and they wanted a dog. Both Wife and I were not sure if we would have if the kids didn't want one. Not that we didn't want one but we both had lost dogs prior to meeting, we are extremely happy we did though.

I do suggest getting a dog from a shelter, Mine was 10 months old, had completed obediance school and crate trained - I however think the crate was punishment by her actions when she saw it and we no longer have one.

 

[The*Big*Lebowski]

I think you did all that you could have done and I am sorry for your loss.

My family was in a similar situation recently. The dog my family had since I was a teen grew old and things started to deteriorate. She was a 16 year old Lab/Cocker Spaniel mix. She weighed about 20 lbs in her prime. Anyways, she started pissing and crapping in the house on occasion, which she had never done since she was a pup. Her eyesight was failing and she would randomly bump into things while walking around. Her hearing was also failing. Things were getting progressively worse and my Dad was having a real hard time with the thought of putting her down.

Her vet told us it simply needed to be done, which we all knew. The hard decision, unfortunately, came to finances. I can't remember the exact numbers, but I do know that they aren't allowed to give you a body back for fear that you'll bury the animal in your backyard. They wuld give you back some ashes if you wanted, for a fee of course. The sad thing about that is it would have been some random ashes from a group cremation. OR, you could pay another 500-some-odd bucks for a private cremation. It all sounded a bit shady to me. I mean, who knwos what animals ashes you're getting back unless you eyewitness it?

Well, since she was a small dog, and she HATED the vet's office with all of her being, we decided that we'd like her to die at home, comfortable and unafraid. Remember, she was deteriorating and weighed maybe 11 pounds at this point. What we wound up doing was crushing up 10 vicodins and mixing them into a nice big bowl of cooked hamburger and bacon. She ate it all down and we took her to her little dog-bed and she just went to sleep peacefully. We dug a hole in the yard and buried her there, where she was always the most happy.

Sorry for the rambling, but your story of loss made me want to share mine as well. Again, I believe you did the right thing because watching a family member slowly deteriorate is the most painful thing you can go through. Sorry again for your families loss.

 

[The*Big*Lebowski]

btw, My wife and i currently have 2 rescue league dogs. Both Mutts and both AWESOME.

1 is a beagle/basset mix named Scooby-Doo (my then 2 year old named him)

The other is a German Sheppard/Lab/Golden mix named Coco.