Karma Shows no Mercy - Philly Flys By Pats

grog

Chief Instigation Officer
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The Eagles have figured it all out just in time to play the Patriots. Vick is starting to feel much better, the Philly defense is coming around, and the Patriots are due for a stinker. Ocho hurt his hammy playing xBox and BB his staff know they can't match minds with Reid and the Eagles coaching staff. Worst of all, the Philly Santa's will be out in force to taunt the Patriots. It will be ugly.

Philly 44
Pats 2
 
Eagle fans boo Santa and Wonderlic after a horrific display forever to be known as the Stink at the Linc Dream Team 2011 edition. Pats 49 Eggles 3
 
As is their current MO, the Patriots start slowly against Philly. Thankfully, they pick things up just in time to avoid a shutout.

Eagles 56
Patriots 7
 
I purchased Madden last night and played the against the Eagles. The guy would keep throwing bombs and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop the run, Brady's release was slow, and Gronk dropped like 5 passes. That's more or less how it's gonna happen in real life me thinks.

Pats 9
Mighty Dream Team 45
Posted via Mobile Device
 
I purchased Madden last night and played the against the Eagles. The guy would keep throwing bombs and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop the run, Brady's release was slow, and Gronk dropped like 5 passes. That's more or less how it's gonna happen in real life me thinks.

Pats 9
Mighty Dream Team 45
Posted via Mobile Device

Madden is never wrong.. I played just now and had the same exact results.
 
Iron Maiden's "Flight of Icarus" sums this game up perfectly: "Fly on your way like an Eagle, fly so high, touch the sun". We are going to be subject to the most furious aerial bombardment since Dresden, Operation Desert Storm and Air Coryell combined. The Defensive Backs will be as much use as, well, a piece of paper in holding back the Atlantic.

Pats -1,000,000
Eagles- 999,999,999,999
 
Brady doesn't bend his front knee and keeps his shoulder open.

Iggles 38
Pastries 6


Let the texting begin....
 
It turns out the Eagles aren't the "dream team", but the "Dreamtime team" and get creationary on our butt.

dreamtimestilts.jpg


New Eagles Universe 1
Pats -∞
 
Eagles unveil their new double double option, "The Dogbone", with Vick and Young both in a double shotgun formation.

Philly Receiver's routes are lengthened to 20+ seconds.

Each quarterback throws for over 300 yards and rushes for 150, not counting the record 1200 yards of laterals.

"Vick rolls to his right, surveys the field, no one open, laterals to Young. Young rolls to his left surveys the field...."

Gostkowski is playing safety by the end of the first quarter.
 
Once again it comes down to redemption-- this bourne on the broad shoulders of Vince Young who has known the heights of triumph in the college game only to be mistreated, misunderstood and derided in the professional game-- a proud, young man for whom those affronts have kindled in him a fury and rage the likes of which have seldom been seen in the world of sport.

Imagine the pure anger and hatred of Mike Tyson in his prime, of Butkus, of Jim Brown-- a burning need to use that explosive fuel of toxic criticism to silence his detractors, to once again drink the sweet nectar of victory and find his place in the sun. Now imagine the only thing standing between this talented juggernaut and his self-actualization is the much-maligned and tattered backfield of the Patriots who are naught but a collection of castoffs and terrified, inexperienced JAGs.

Imagine again young Young finally mastering his immense talent and unleashing the total devestation of a two-headed monster known as DeLeSean on this sorry, overmatched crew. Blazing speed. Helpless defenders. Spinning, whirling, dazzling moves towards wide-open green pastures leading directly to a welcoming endzone which each will visit often.

This will be remembered, years hence, as the day when Vince solidifies his hold on the starters job over Vick in a weird echo of Brady-Bledsoe and he begins to take his rightful place amongst the immortals of his sport.

We are going to get utterly destroyed. Bank on it.

High Flyin' Soaring Eagles 66
Position Assumin' Pats 6
 
Hopefully Young (or Vick) doesn't throw up on his own shoes like McNabb.

I'll never forget that Super Bowl week in Jacksonville. I've been to all six Patriot's Super Bowls, but I've never encountered a bigger bunch of buttholes, or anything even close to those Philly fans. Don't they teach manners down in that armpit of a city?
 
Hopefully Young (or Vick) doesn't throw up on his own shoes like McNabb.

I'll never forget that Super Bowl week in Jacksonville. I've been to all six Patriot's Super Bowls, but I've never encountered a bigger bunch of buttholes, or anything even close to those Philly fans. Don't they teach manners down in that armpit of a city?
That's what makes their lifetime Superbowl curse so sweet. Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of jagoffs.
 
Teh Elbow. Teh Amputae.

Eagles 69
Pats 0

In memorium of Ballbustah.
 
Pats suck. No chance of beating this clearly superior Eagles team.

Eagles 72
Pats 6
 
Your New England Patriots travel to the place where not only was Santa Clause booed, he was pelted by Eagles fans with snow balls. No big deal you say? The snow balls were formed around rocks and Donner and Dancer died in the assault. Blitzen, while only stunned and twitching succumbs to zombie fans as they fall on the raw meat and rip his flesh off to the bone because he was still "fresh". This is a tough crowd.
Asante Samuel thirsts for revenge and is joined by a host of Philly greats. Norm Van Brocklin , Reggy White, Vince Pompale and the unkindest cut of all-a lotion-less Sonny Jurgensen prepare for revenge. Dick Vermeil is spotted sobbing on the sideline for no disconcertable reason. All things considered,
We have no chance. None.

To the entrails goes the spoils Eagles 56
Eviscerated Bambi's 3

We are DOOOMED!!!
Doomed I tell you!!
 
Vince Young will unleash an aerial assault on the Patriots, the likes of which the NFL has never seen before. The Patriots will be gashed on the ground by LeSean McCoy. Asante will surely return at least one Brady INT for a TD. We're doomed I tell ya, doomed!

Patriots 3
Eagles 99
 
Vince Young!? He was like a top 5 overall draft pick! Didn't he win like a National Championship in college or something? Against our secondary full of UDFAs and castoffs! Oh crap! ;)

We're DOOOOOOMED!
 
Vince Young took his Feel Good About Me pills, and instead of directing his anger inwardly at himself for his past failings, he directs his fury against a weakened pathetic New England secondary, causing each of them to in turn wander off and disappear for days contemplating suicide, leaving only our defensive line to stop his aerial assault...

Smelling blood in the water, the Eagles Defense turns into the 85 Bears Meets the 2000 Ravens, holding the Patriots scoreless, while the Eagles score on every drive. Between that and turnovers, Eagles win 80-0, setting a new all-time record.
 
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