ladies of the planet

[TBrownslady]

Just a question but is it a big deal to get a diamond ring for an engagement ring? I feel in love with the most gorgeous amethyst ring and would rather have that. Just wanted to see different opinions. I don't want anything expensive on my hand to be honest nor do I wear any flashy things. My daily jewelry consists of my grandmothers wedding band which is just a plain skinny band lol what are your thoughts

 

[sammi71]

It's wahtever YOU like and want on your finger, and if the fiance agress why not? Just my 2 cents

 

[Muse]

It's wahtever YOU like and want on your finger, and if the fiance agress why not? Just my 2 cents

Yes ditto on this lady

You will be wearing it for a long time be happy with it

 

[TBrownslady]

That's what I'm saying and anyone that knows me and my obsession with purple will know how perfect this ring is lol I'd rather put the money towards the down payment of a house

 

[tehrick67]

That's what I'm saying and anyone that knows me and my obsession with purple will know how perfect this ring is lol I'd rather put the money towards the down payment of a house

People get wrapped up in things that IMO aren't that important. A home to live
in is more important than an expensive ring on your finger, especially if thats not going to make you happy anyway.

 

[TBrownslady]

People get wrapped up in things that IMO aren't that important. A home to live
in is more important than an expensive ring on your finger, especially if thats not going to make you happy anyway.

I agree completely. I just have to try on this bad boy and make sure the band doesn't annoy me as do most rings lol then I wait for him to give it to me lol

 

[Hawg73]

Just a question but is it a big deal to get a diamond ring for an engagement ring? I feel in love with the most gorgeous amethyst ring and would rather have that. Just wanted to see different opinions. I don't want anything expensive on my hand to be honest nor do I wear any flashy things. My daily jewelry consists of my grandmothers wedding band which is just a plain skinny band lol what are your thoughts

First off, it sounds like congratulations are in order. I'm happy for you.

However, one thing I've learned along the way is that if you think outside of the box on things like this then you will have to be prepared for many, many explanations of why you didn't get a diamond. It is such a traditional thing that many people, mostly women, will ask the question and there will be a certain politeness and even a hint of pity in their voices. The unspoken insinuation will be that your BF cheaped out on you by not going with the diamond, regardless of the value of the ring you like. The less tactful might come right out and say it.

I've come to understand that an diamond engagement ring is supposed to be a symbol of a lifetime commitment because it IS so expensive and an amethyst ring will suggest to some that his level of commitment is questionable.

I'm not trying to get you to change your mind, but you (and he) should be prepared for some strange reactions from people over the years to come and that could get very annoying over time.

Just make sure that the amethyst is really what you want in your heart and you aren't trying to make it easier on him financially and therefore looking at the pretty amethyst as a sort of compromise. If it's truly what you want and you are prepared to be questioned then you should go for it.

 

[tehrick67]

First off, it sounds like congratulations are in order. I'm happy for you.

However, one thing I've learned along the way is that if you think outside of the box on things like this then you will have to be prepared for many, many explanations of why you didn't get a diamond. It is such a traditional thing that many people, mostly women, will ask the question and there will be a certain politeness and even a hint of pity in their voices. The unspoken insinuation will be that your BF cheaped out on you by not going with the diamond, regardless of the value of the ring you like. The less tactful might come right out and say it.

I've come to understand that an diamond engagement ring is supposed to be a symbol of a lifetime commitment because it IS so expensive and an amethyst ring will suggest to some that his level of commitment is questionable.

I'm not trying to get you to change your mind, but you (and he) should be prepared for some strange reactions from people over the years to come and that could get very annoying over time.

Just make sure that the amethyst is really what you want in your heart and you aren't trying to make it easier on him financially and therefore looking at the pretty amethyst as a sort of compromise. If it's truly what you want and you are prepared to be questioned then you should go for it.

Also, god forbid if that diamond isn't big enough. I was working a crappy job, had no money. I had to take a loan on my 401K to get my wife a modest ring. I did go for quality over size (as did my wife) Some women will actually put it down while showing off some big rock.

petty.mother.phuckers.

 

[tommysgirl]

I have a 3 carat minimum

I would agree with Hawg on the questions you will get. My Mom never got a diamond, she wanted a stereo for the new house instead (one of those old ong wooden ones and it barely worked lol) Her teenage daughter spilled nail polish remover all over it.

My opinion? Get whatver the hell you want. Its your life

 

[TBrownslady]

First off, it sounds like congratulations are in order. I'm happy for you.

However, one thing I've learned along the way is that if you think outside of the box on things like this then you will have to be prepared for many, many explanations of why you didn't get a diamond. It is such a traditional thing that many people, mostly women, will ask the question and there will be a certain politeness and even a hint of pity in their voices. The unspoken insinuation will be that your BF cheaped out on you by not going with the diamond, regardless of the value of the ring you like. The less tactful might come right out and say it.

I've come to understand that an diamond engagement ring is supposed to be a symbol of a lifetime commitment because it IS so expensive and an amethyst ring will suggest to some that his level of commitment is questionable.

I'm not trying to get you to change your mind, but you (and he) should be prepared for some strange reactions from people over the years to come and that could get very annoying over time.

Just make sure that the amethyst is really what you want in your heart and you aren't trying to make it easier on him financially and therefore looking at the pretty amethyst as a sort of compromise. If it's truly what you want and you are prepared to be questioned then you should go for it.

Well thank you we haven't made it there but it's coming lol I was the one who actually asked him if he was committed to getting me a diamond our would he consider something else. He is hesitant on getting anything but a diamond and I know people will be materialistic about it and judgmental because that's how they are but either way they will judge the size anyway. The only thing is with an amethyst people might not realize I'm engaged. But what's the difference between that or getting a sapphire ring which happens often these days. honestly the amethyst would make me happy and I think it's silly to break the bank on a ring. Like I said I'd rather have a house. Maybe I'll let him decide lol talk about pressure lol

 

[cka203]

Get what you want and be happy with it. Diamonds are way over-rated, IMO. I know some women are so materialistic, they will compare the sizes of the rocks, as if a bigger rock means more love, or something.

I know some women who never had an engagement ring at all, just a wedding band.

To each his/her own.

FWIW, I always found my engagement ring to be annoying. It wasn't large by any means, but it still managed to get caught on stuff (like laundry), or would scratch the kids when I was changing them, etc.

 

[Muse]

Get what you want and be happy with it. Diamonds are way over-rated, IMO. I know some women are so materialistic, they will compare the sizes of the rocks, as if a bigger rock means more love, or something.

I know some women who never had an engagement ring at all, just a wedding band.

To each his/her own.

FWIW, I always found my engagement ring to be annoying. It wasn't large by any means, but it still managed to get caught on stuff (like laundry), or would scratch the kids when I was changing them, etc.

There's your sign

 

[TBrownslady]

Get what you want and be happy with it. Diamonds are way over-rated, IMO. I know some women are so materialistic, they will compare the sizes of the rocks, as if a bigger rock means more love, or something.

I know some women who never had an engagement ring at all, just a wedding band.

To each his/her own.

FWIW, I always found my engagement ring to be annoying. It wasn't large by any means, but it still managed to get caught on stuff (like laundry), or would scratch the kids when I was changing them, etc.

Yeah I hated my ring the first time I was engaged. I also managed to knock the diamond out of it lol rings in general are annoying to me. If they're to thick of a band it annoys the crap out of me. This ring has the purple drone with diamonds around it and a nice thin band with diamonds on it. I love it but I have loved rings before and then tried them on and said forget it lol

Just wait till people come to the wedding and see a family style thanksgiving dinner lol

 

[sammi71]

As long as you are happy that is ALL that matters!!!

 

[HSanders]

Wow TBL congrats! I'm really happy for you and that is one lucky dude!


I will echo the majority. Whatever you two are happy with is awesome.
As far as questions about it vs. diamond, I consider those rude to the max, just like other personal questions from those who don't know you well. Hence they should be answered with raised eyebrows or a smile if you prefer, and a pleasant voice saying, "Why do you ask?" To soften it you could say before that, "we searched and searched and found the perfect ring to represent our bond (or something like that)...why do you ask?" A lot of times people don't MEAN to be rude, they are just making casual conversation. Hence, why I wouldn't go on attack when virtual strangers asked me why no kids/when are you going to HAVE kids etc.

 

[PumpDee]

Trying for a ring, huh. This explains why you started a Steak & BJ thread. ROFL







He's very lucky.

 

[tehrick67]

Trying for a ring, huh. This explains why you started a Steak & BJ thread. ROFL







He's very lucky.

She's not getting a diamond, so we don't know how lucky he is

 

[Hawg73]

honestly the amethyst would make me happy and I think it's silly to break the bank on a ring. Like I said I'd rather have a house. Maybe I'll let him decide lol talk about pressure lol

It is pretty silly, but also amazing that just about everybody that gets hitched arrives at the conclusion that it is a symbol, but a necessary one.

I can recall picking out my wife's engagement ring and I was terrified at the concept of spending two month's pay on one (that's the rule of thumb).

Fortunately for me, they didn't say which two months, so I went with two from the paper route I had in Jr. High.



Seriously, I looked at a bunch that left me uninspired and then found an emerald-cut diamond that seemed more dazzling than the others. I blew my neutrality when the guy said the price and I blurted out something like "You mean I can actually afford THIS ring?". So much for leverage.

Before I gave it to her I used to take it out of hiding and catch the sun with it and it would send disco-ball lights all around the room. I was really proud of it and she sincerely loved it.

I've since seen bigger rocks and smaller rocks and learned the status game a lot of people play with this particular milestone purchase. There have been a few times when I wondered whether I should have bit the bullet, spent more and got a bigger one, but I suppose that's not uncommon, but the point is, that was 24 years ago and the money is long gone and forgotten, but the ring is still here. It might be the only thing we still have from those days other than photos.

You'll get a house and whatever else you need eventually, but those things are all transitory. The ring always will be. It's somehow different than anything else I ever bought. It's a bigger deal than I realized. If I had bought her a crummy diamond then I would have hated to watch her show it to other people-- something I have seen a hundred times since. Instead, I got to enjoy the ritual every time it happened. An unexpected benefit.

I hope you and he both enjoy it the same way regardless of what you decide, but if I have one piece of advice to impart it is this-- don't let that stack of bills determine what ring you end up with. I've seen people do that and regret it.

That ring will be with you for the rest of your life. That's a long time.

:rockon:

 

[cka203]

It is pretty silly, but also amazing that just about everybody that gets hitched arrives at the conclusion that it is a symbol, but a necessary one.

I can recall picking out my wife's engagement ring and I was terrified at the concept of spending two month's pay on one (that's the rule of thumb).

Fortunately for me, they didn't say which two months, so I went with two from the paper route I had in Jr. High.



Seriously, I looked at a bunch that left me uninspired and then found an emerald-cut diamond that seemed more dazzling than the others. I blew my neutrality when the guy said the price and I blurted out something like "You mean I can actually afford THIS ring?". So much for leverage.

Before I gave it to her I used to take it out of hiding and catch the sun with it and it would send disco-ball lights all around the room. I was really proud of it and she sincerely loved it.

I've since seen bigger rocks and smaller rocks and learned the status game a lot of people play with this particular milestone purchase. There have been a few times when I wondered whether I should have bit the bullet, spent more and got a bigger one, but I suppose that's not uncommon, but the point is, that was 24 years ago and the money is long gone and forgotten, but the ring is still here. It might be the only thing we still have from those days other than photos.

You'll get a house and whatever else you need eventually, but those things are all transitory. The ring always will be. It's somehow different than anything else I ever bought. It's a bigger deal than I realized. If I had bought her a crummy diamond then I would have hated to watch her show it to other people-- something I have seen a hundred times since. Instead, I got to enjoy the ritual every time it happened. An unexpected benefit.

I hope you and he both enjoy it the same way regardless of what you decide, but if I have one piece of advice to impart it is this-- don't let that stack of bills determine what ring you end up with. I've seen people do that and regret it.

That ring will be with you for the rest of your life. That's a long time.

:rockon:

Wow, Hawg... That was beautiful! wuv

You make a very good point, too. Honestly, I never really thought about it that way. And the fact that this is a man's POV is enlightening.

 

[TBrownslady]

Interesting points here. I've taken it all in lol I'm actually thinking that the amethyst might be too big for me for an everyday ring. I have to try it on. I did pick out the perfect little princess cut diamond ring for me when we were looking about a month ago. 2 months pay would really be too much ring for me nor would I want to wear anything worth that much. I don't trust myself lol
He had suggested getting a diamond and putting purple stones with it if I want purple in it but I'm not sure how that would look.

Thank you for all your input I'm now more confused lol