crom!

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God, I hope it isn't someone we know who forgot to log off whatever game site.:coffee:
 
The Cimmerian said:
crom! many years ago, when i was a young king, the hinterlands of my new kingdom were being ravaged by a small, but strong band of stygian outlaws. with a small group of men at arms, i rode out to kill the invaders. they were little match for my steel! i was so maddened by blood lust, i barely remember the fighting. but when i came around, i was surrounded by death.

after setting the heads of my enemies on pikes facing stygia, i was struck with an overpowering thirst for ale! we rode hard back to aquilonia, not even taking the time to clean the stygian gore from our armor. indeed, my thirst was so great, it could only be sated by my lust for wenches!

i took a comely scullery wench to my chambers, and removed my loin cloth. the smell was so overpowering from days of riding and exertion, the poor lass vomited and fainted dead away.

later that week, a trusted wizard and adviser approached my throne apprehensively. he remarked that a rumor was circulating among my royal court that the wenches were calling me "king asiago nads" on account of my crotch smelling of moldy cheeses.

i flew into a rage, and axed my adviser from the top of his head to the center of his chest! i then had that wench, who vomited on me, flogged to death in front my entire court! a shame, as she was quite buxom. but nonetheless, a clear message was made, that no matter how pungent, never speak ill of my royal genitals!
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I have no idear what the crap any of ^^This shid means but if it means wimmin will rent their garments and turn loose them varmint bewbies to post pics here ofem then I'm all for it :clap:
 
crom! recently a young bard came to my royal court to entertain me with song on the celebration of my birth. it was a grand affair, all of my courtiers and warlords came to pay homage to me, and listen to the song of the traveling bard. after much grog and wine had been drank, the music began. he took up his lute and began to perform a tune where the phrase "urybody in tha club gettin' tipsy" was oft repeated. all in attendance enjoyed the song. indeed the melody was so infectious, even i, the great warrior king, began to tap my foot to the rhythm.

concerned that i may have looked foolish dancing, i immediately grabbed my trusty club, and bashed the young minstrel's head into an unrecognizable bloody pulp. i then had his remains tipped into a mass grave, where the many victims of my murderous mood swings lay. crom! bludgeoning that bard was almost as entertaining as his song! my house wenches are still cleaning bits of his musical brains from my tapestries!

it has been several moons since that night, and i still can not get that intoxicating melody out of my head! regrettably, no other bard in the land has the skill to recreate that song. against my better judgment, i am considering the hire of a necromancer to raise that cursed minstrel from the dead.

crom! a vexing situation indeed!
 
I just really, really like the avatar.

It has layers, man. Layers!

It's not just that it's King Destructo. It's the modern easy chair, the desolate/urban background...and the faded minivan! Add to that the defeated, lost, post-modern pose, just oozing ennui, and it's sheer brilliance, especially connected to the posts themselves. It screams: "I'm lost and misplaced in this crazy, mixed up world, and I long for a time when things were simpler and I could solve my problems with my blade and a song."

Brilliant.

I repeat - can we keep him? I'd love to see how football analysis comes across!
 
"later that week, a trusted wizard and adviser approached my throne apprehensively. he remarked that a rumor was circulating among my royal court that the wenches were calling me "king asiago nads" on account of my crotch smelling of moldy cheeses."

You're not related to Norwoodla are you?

If not, you guys have alot to talk about.....
 
I see that somebody has been playing waaay too much AOC.

oh yeah. Tempest FTMFW!

:arrr:
 
crom! no more chatting with strangers! from now on, i will just execute them!

Stranger: hi
You: crom! hello
Stranger: asi?
You: crom! 76, male, aquilonia
Stranger: aquilonia?
Stranger: where ?
You: crom! in hyboria, where do you hail from, stranger?
Stranger: china
Stranger: f
You: crom! chi -- na?
Stranger: yea
Stranger: yeaa
You: crom! it sounds like a mysterious place indeed? are there wizards in china?
Stranger: no
Stranger: wrong
You: crom! thank crom for that! who is your king?
Stranger: we have no king
Stranger: u?
You: crom! then who orders the beheadings when your people try instigate a revolt?
Stranger: have king?
You: crom! I AM KING!
Stranger: hahhaa
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: crom!
 
The Cimmerian said:
crom! many years ago, when i was a young king, the hinterlands of my new kingdom were being ravaged by a small, but strong band of stygian outlaws. with a small group of men at arms, i rode out to kill the invaders. they were little match for my steel! i was so maddened by blood lust, i barely remember the fighting. but when i came around, i was surrounded by death.

after setting the heads of my enemies on pikes facing stygia, i was struck with an overpowering thirst for ale! we rode hard back to aquilonia, not even taking the time to clean the stygian gore from our armor. indeed, my thirst was so great, it could only be sated by my lust for wenches!

i took a comely scullery wench to my chambers, and removed my loin cloth. the smell was so overpowering from days of riding and exertion, the poor lass vomited and fainted dead away.

later that week, a trusted wizard and adviser approached my throne apprehensively. he remarked that a rumor was circulating among my royal court that the wenches were calling me "king asiago nads" on account of my crotch smelling of moldy cheeses.

i flew into a rage, and axed my adviser from the top of his head to the center of his chest! i then had that wench, who vomited on me, flogged to death in front my entire court! a shame, as she was quite buxom. but nonetheless, a clear message was made, that no matter how pungent, never speak ill of my royal genitals!
Click to expand...

This post reeks of RG's genitals
 
The Cimmerian said:
crom! no more chatting with strangers! from now on, i will just execute them!

Stranger: hi
You: crom! hello
Stranger: asi?
You: crom! 76, male, aquilonia
Stranger: aquilonia?
Stranger: where ?
You: crom! in hyboria, where do you hail from, stranger?
Stranger: china
Stranger: f
You: crom! chi -- na?
Stranger: yea
Stranger: yeaa
You: crom! it sounds like a mysterious place indeed? are there wizards in china?
Stranger: no
Stranger: wrong
You: crom! thank crom for that! who is your king?
Stranger: we have no king
Stranger: u?
You: crom! then who orders the beheadings when your people try instigate a revolt?
Stranger: have king?
You: crom! I AM KING!
Stranger: hahhaa
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: crom!
Click to expand...

WTF?

No offense Cimmerian but are you aware that your posts are basically incoherent blabber to us common folk? At least your writing seems to match up with your personal hygeine. :shake:
 
The Cimmerian said:
i took a comely scullery wench to my chambers, and removed my loin cloth. the smell was so overpowering from days of riding and exertion, the poor lass vomited and fainted dead away.

later that week, a trusted wizard and adviser approached my throne apprehensively. he remarked that a rumor was circulating among my royal court that the wenches were calling me "king asiago nads" on account of my crotch smelling of moldy cheeses.

i flew into a rage, and axed my adviser from the top of his head to the center of his chest! i then had that wench, who vomited on me, flogged to death in front my entire court! a shame, as she was quite buxom. but nonetheless, a clear message was made, that no matter how pungent, never speak ill of my royal genitals!
Click to expand...

To our king with crotch rot, it sounds as if you have contacted a yeast infection, might I suggest a topical antifungal ointment?

MONISTAT 7 day will take your smell away
So the ladies can once again play:thumb:
 
Jaric 3000 said:
I don't care what any of you say. This is all overflowing with win.
Click to expand...

WIN? :shake:
WTF?How can you say that?
Cimmerian has wenches vomiting on his royal genitals and with a possible flaming yeast infection incubating between his royal loins he could soon have Staph if treatment is not provided
 
The Cimmerian said:
crom! many years ago, when i was a young king, the hinterlands of my new kingdom were being ravaged by a small, but strong band of stygian outlaws. with a small group of men at arms, i rode out to kill the invaders. they were little match for my steel! i was so maddened by blood lust, i barely remember the fighting. but when i came around, i was surrounded by death.

after setting the heads of my enemies on pikes facing stygia, i was struck with an overpowering thirst for ale! we rode hard back to aquilonia, not even taking the time to clean the stygian gore from our armor. indeed, my thirst was so great, it could only be sated by my lust for wenches!

i took a comely scullery wench to my chambers, and removed my loin cloth. the smell was so overpowering from days of riding and exertion, the poor lass vomited and fainted dead away.

later that week, a trusted wizard and adviser approached my throne apprehensively. he remarked that a rumor was circulating among my royal court that the wenches were calling me "king asiago nads" on account of my crotch smelling of moldy cheeses.

i flew into a rage, and axed my adviser from the top of his head to the center of his chest! i then had that wench, who vomited on me, flogged to death in front my entire court! a shame, as she was quite buxom. but nonetheless, a clear message was made, that no matter how pungent, never speak ill of my royal genitals!
Click to expand...

I f*cking love Conan
 
I wonder if El Regnum's genitals smell worse than my fridge right now.

WTF? is that stank, anyway?
 
I've read every post in this thread, and I still don't get it. :blink:

And to be honest - I'm VERY happy about that!
 
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