OT: wierdest moment in bed..

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lostuncertain

lostuncertain

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got any horror stories from doin' the boom boom?

just thought i'd start a thread to introduce myself..

anyway

I remember a night when my girlfriend helped me rub Bengay (muscle relief cream) on my back because it was hurting.

a couple of hours later, she decided to go downstairs on me. She was one who enjoyed using her hands, and even though she washed her hands real well, and even though we waited a couple of hours.. it went something like this.

me: "umm.. honey.. are your lips by any chance burning?"
her: "uhh.. yeah.. is your.."
me: "YES! OMG GTF Off!"

so about 10 minutes of her washing her lips and me washing my :bhump:, we end up just sitting there laughing about it..

:dom:
 
The following happened to me several years ago, when I was still single.

I'd been with this particular woman for maybe two years, sleepin' over @ her place frequently. on one of these nights, well after midnight, I awoke in her bed, having trouble breathing. The reason for my difficulty breathing was because she had both hands wrapped around my throat, trying to choke the life outa poor me! :grrr: I proceeded to push her off of me, cussing @ her all the while, getting really upset....I didn't assault her, and I quickly calmed down.
She claims to have been acting out in a dream. I never really believed her and this particular relationship didn't last another year. Or, maybe it did, but I was such a lush, I can't recall. :) Meanwhile, this same woman was having an affair with another woman. I laugh about it now, but @ the time I was really hurting, emotionally. One really needs to be careful about who to befriend.
 
Spentcartridge said:
I never really believed her and this particular relationship didn't last another year.
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LOL you thought she was trying to kill you, and the relationship (possibly) lasted another year?

That must have been some prime pussy.

Anyway, this wasnt in a bed, but it involved bed type activities....


A gf of mine lived at home with her parents, and her uncle. This is how the Saturday nights went:

Her parents went to bed at 10.

Her uncle left the house around 11 to go whore trolling.

I had an hour to defile the young lady before i was supposed to be gone by midnight.

So one Saturday night the parents go to bed, the uncle leaves, and by 11:05 i'm shucking off my jeans. We used to do it in a small hallway that connected their den to kitchen, because it was furtherest from the front door and stairs leading up to the parents bedroom. Also there was a small bathroom connected to the hall, and this served as our "escape plan"

So, we are going at it, and all of a sudden we hear a key in the front door. Uncle had come home early. I grab up my clothes and run into the bathroom. HAHA! The plan worked perfectly!! We were geniuses for devising it!!!!

Except....well the bathroom had been an add on after the house was originally built. As such, the light switch was on the outside of the bathroom. No biggie. I threw my clothes down on the counter and reach out and turn on the lights in the bathroom and quickly close the door again.

I turn to retrieve my clothes and well, where i had thrown my clothes wasnt the counter. It was the toilet. The open toilet. It was winter. My pants and shirt were soaking wet. I had to get dressed and drive home in wet toilet water clothes.

True story.
 
LOL great stories!!!! I can't think of any except that time my ex fell off the bed?? I still to this day have no idea how? I am gonna have to think harder about this one
 
Not in bed, but in a tub. A beautiful, extra-large, claw foot bathtub that was on the second floor. We had both settled in for some quality time, not realizing (with all the bubbles) how full the tub got with our combined bodies. We were just getting started when suddenly the fire alarm started screaming like mad. Apparently the overflow on the tub wasn't hooked up properly, so the extra water just spilled onto the floor, went between the cracks and shorted out the fire alarm on the floor below. Since it was a "hard-wired" alarm I couldn't just run down to the first floor. I had to run all the way down to the basement, figure out where the fusebox was and which switch to throw.
After all this she had lost momentum and event was postponed, but plenty of laughs ensued. (Dagnabit, a hurricane wouldn't cause me to lose momentum)
 
I just remembered a couple.

One time I was on top and everything was feelign nice and we were both putting work into it and next thing I go down and crunch! It had popped out and on the way down we miscalculated and well you know the rest. He was in alot of pain and I felt HORRIBLE!!!!!

Another time things between me and someone started getting realll hot. We started touching feeling and then my turn. Well I don't particularly like men that are uncut and he was. So anywhooo I go down to do my business and come back up. He got a pain. He went ot the bathroom and there was a scratch mark?!?!? I had fake nails at the time but I didn't think they went anywhere close to his skin? LOL Anyway that ruined things because well you know how paper cuts feel imagine down there.
 
I've never liked doing it in water. It's a very poor lubricant and I end up with some serious friction burns.

The same woman mentioned in my post above, seduced me by a river bank on a summer afternoon. She also seduced some poison ivy! :)
 
lostuncertain, you are smooth for starting this thread. You just want the memberless members to share bedtime stories with you. lol :toast:

I don't have a lot of embarassing bedtime stories. I have fallen out of bed a few times when things got real hot. That was embarassing. Ouch.
 
I was in college, had a crush on a particular girl all semester. Finally got in-like-Flynn, we ditched afternoon classes and went back to her house because it was close by. It's about 1 PM and the bedroom door is basically kicked in. It's this girl's mom. She happened to come home for lunch and heard us. So the mom grabs the girl by the hair, drags her out of bed, and proceeds to kick the shit out of her. If we had been mauled by a grizzly bear, I don't think I'd have been anymore shocked than I was to witness the mother-to-daughter pummeling that was taking place before my eyes.

It was a short fling.
 
A mild story..


When I was 17, during the summer my parents went on a vacation to visit my dad's parents. I made sure that I couldn't get off of work that week so that I could stay home and just screw my girlfriend. Well we had been doing it all that week and finally managed to pop my waterbed. It didn't really phase me, I felt some water at my feet but didn't care, kept going. lol

So seeing as I didn't want to explain to my parents how my waterbed busted, I "decided" it was time to get a new bed with my own money so as not to raise any suspicions. I found this really nice steel antique looking futon for like 300 bucks and figured that since it folds into a couch, maybe my parents would let my girlfriend come into my room when my girlfriend was over, if it was in couch form, because they wouldn't be thinking we were having sex on the couch! Which strangely enough my parents actually did fall for it.

Fast forward to a week later, and we ended up breaking that bed too.
 
Bender said:
A mild story..


When I was 17, during the summer my parents went on a vacation to visit my dad's parents. I made sure that I couldn't get off of work that week so that I could stay home and just screw my girlfriend. Well we had been doing it all that week and finally managed to pop my waterbed. It didn't really phase me, I felt some water at my feet but didn't care, kept going. lol

So seeing as I didn't want to explain to my parents how my waterbed busted, I "decided" it was time to get a new bed with my own money so as not to raise any suspicions. I found this really nice steel antique looking futon for like 300 bucks and figured that since it folds into a couch, maybe my parents would let my girlfriend come into my room when my girlfriend was over, if it was in couch form, because they wouldn't be thinking we were having sex on the couch! Which strangely enough my parents actually did fall for it.

Fast forward to a week later, and we ended up breaking that bed too.
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And they never asked you why the waterbed was broken?
 
TBrownslady said:
One time I was on top and everything was feelign nice and we were both putting work into it and next thing I go down and crunch! It had popped out and on the way down we miscalculated and well you know the rest. He was in alot of pain and I felt HORRIBLE!!!!!
Click to expand...



Holy crap. You never lived in South Carolina did you?
 
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