Ohhhhh Hawwwwwwwgie......

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She's not talking about the upcoming Pats Bills contest. She's going to mud wrestle with Hawg, nekkid!
 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Love that AVATAR...



MrFANNy,

I'm quite aware of the fact that the JESTS are not in the same class as your World Champs. I'm just grateful to have three out of the last four games end up in the "W" column for my BILLS, and a week of jollies to look forward to here.

My beloved team didn't let me down, and in a season where the joy has been in short supply, I'm going to enjoy the good feeling, however fleeting it might be.

Furthermore, it just means the universe has given it's blessing for the HAWG and I to get down and dirty for a few days of jollies here at the planet.

Oh baby, I can hardly wait to see what you guys cook up for the karma thread!!!


dchester,

Prepare to lick those chops, baby because I'm saving some of my best moves for this clash of the AFC BEASTS.

Ohhhh Haaawwwwwwgie.... I'm polishing up my anatomy by braille just for you.

It's your destiny to get gooey with me!
 
wyobilzfan said:

Ohhhh Haaawwwwwwgie.... I'm polishing up my anatomy by braille just for you.

It's your destiny to get gooey with me!
Click to expand...

This has to be the sexiest line I've heard since Jessica Rabbit's "I'm not bad......I'm just drawn that way. "

Honestly, I didn't think the Bills were going to get it done, but now that Willis has arrived, the worm has definitely turned in Buffalo.

I just rush ordered a thousand pounds of herbal mud which is being overnighted to Patriotsplanet world headquarters at this very moment.

As soon as it arrives we can start the throw down. Just make sure your bring your snorkle, BABY. ;)

When I unleash my patented "Figure 73 leglock" on you-- you will know that this time you bit off more than you can CHEW.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
 
Better hang on to that snorkle, Hawgmeister. You're going to need something to help keep you from hyperventilating.

That sucking sound isn't coming from the rubber mouth piece you're offering up...


Think I'll get an early start on getting my game BODY ready. Remember that inverted heat seeking missile manuever I was telling you about???

It requires just the right application of friction reducing lube to get the right effect..........

By the end of this week, you're going to know better than to EVER doubt the wyo. My BILLS may not share the rarified air of the World Champs, but when I ask, they deliver........






Now the Q is, can YOU????








:lipsmack: :lipsmack: :whip: :lipsmack: :lipsmack:
 
This could be the biggest fight since Trish Stratus and Stacy Keibler's famous "bra and panty" match in a giant bowl of gravy.
 
wyo throws out the first move.........

The stage is set. Hawg's thousand pounds of herbal mud has been carefully crafted to perfection. The temperature is just right. The congealed goo a consistency of pancake batter.

Enter the contestants. In one corner, Goliath... decked out in nothing but a World Champion medallion around his neck and a Tom Brady tattoo surrounding the family jewels.

His people in his corner fawn over his every move. The gleam of confidence in his eyes, knowing he's about to stake his prey for all the cyberworld to see.

His libido is worked into a frenZy. His people keep telling him it's time to SEIZzzZE the moment. They scoff at the little wolverine-like vixen in the other corner.

She's all alone. No adoring fans, no shiny medallions, just alone with her ever mounting fury and anticipation of taking down the BIG one. She has no fear, no pressure. Knowing that she is the underHawg by at least 9 points, she smiles.

She waits.


He waits.


Their eyes meet.















It's the stuff that dreams are made of....





















We've only just begun, folks. But you can feel the tension in the air.






















To be continued......
 
Re: wyo throws out the first move.........

wyobilzfan said:
She's all alone. No adoring fans, no shiny medallions, just alone with her ever mounting fury and anticipation of taking down the BIG one. She has no fear, no pressure. Knowing that she is the underHawg by at least 9 points, she smiles.
Click to expand...

Ok....great start.....we know what the Hawgman is sporting, but what is she wearing? :D
 
...From the stands an odd figure burst forth. He stomps through security to the announcers' table and hamfists a microphone.

"What in the SAM HILL is goin' on down here, hoss?" His accent is a jumbled mush of Cockney, Imperial, and Dallas Drawl.

"Hawger, why are you even spending the time with this hussy? Don't we have more important things to do? Playoff positioning? Sisters between whom to decide? And here you swagger in all your glory up to the Mud-Pit of Destiny to Do Battle with the BillsSlut from the Hinterlands?"

The man they call Oed is shaking with passion and rage. "Please, for the love of John Hannah, allow me." Tex ties a quick knot in the microphone cord and begins twirling it over his head like a lasso. The whine of feedback and the rush of the air moving by the microphone fill the arena as the loop floats towards the hussy by the mudpit. It pins her arms to her body, and Tex begins to pull her closer, closer through her struggles.

She tries to fight, but Tex screams: "The Incompetence of Drewpie Compels You!" Wyo slumps. Whatever gains she has made, whatever momentum she may have developed over the last month is useless in the face of the unalterable truth that the man under center is a over-concussed statuary in whose cranium Bill Belichick resides quite comfortably.

Quite like the contest that is coming on Sunday, this matchup appears over before it starts.
 
Re: wyo throws out the first move.........

wyobilzfan said:

We've only just begun, folks. But you can feel the tension in the air.

To be continued......
Click to expand...

(this 3rd person stuff is for the birds, but what can I do?)

Hawg's theme music of Metallica's "King Nothing" has barely died down and the fans are pumped as the bell rings and he begins slowly (hell, the mud is knee deep) to circle the amazon, the queen of the trolls, the Wyoming wildcat herself-- WYO.

He was unable to smuggle the requisite "foreign object" in his trunks, since he isn't sporting any and he eyes the scrappy vixen approvingly, since she is wearing no medallions-- in fact, all she is wearing is a tattered Number 11 jersey that is already caked with steamy goo.

They lock arms at the center of the squared circle as the crowd howls in anticipation and he drives her across the muck and into the turnbuckle with a flourish, and begins to grapple with her until he notices her staring at somehing....what? On the opposite side of the ring.

Curiosity gets the best of him and he turns his back on her for a moment (he isn't very smart, apparently) and in an instant, the she-devil............

(to be continued)
 
She moves quickly as opportunity presents itself in fleeting moments...

She tosses aside the Freudian sibling licker from Texas never veering from the GRAND priZe that awaits.

She strips off her tattered Drewpie jersey revealing a new and more lethal accoutrement. The wyoSlut from the hinterlands knows that she needs to make a statement early in the game...

The shameless hussy swiftly makes her move. She sticks her head in the glorious goo and slides it under Goliath's legs......




















to be continued.....
 
My voice is hoarse from screaming already "HAWG!! YOU'RE MY BOYYYYY!!!!"

Being able to yell in first person makes the experience even better.

"Take 'er down HAWG! Show that wyoslut what a real hawg is made of!"

Sh!t....who took my popcorn?
 
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