Sh*t our pets have done

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Pyxis

Pyxis

First one at MY house
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Ok everyone. This is where we place our stories of humor, love, goofiness, and disdain for our pets. It matters not if these pets are gilled, feathered or furred. We will not discriminate between living or passed. Photos are allowed, but not necessary.

Tell us ALL of the wild, crazy and hilarious shit your pet(s) have done. We want those lame crybaby tales as well.

We have a couple of pages of stories in Circle Rep to transfer over.

Knock yourselves out. :)
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I had a Maine Coon named Toker. Don't ask about his name.

One day he came to the front door with something big in his mouth. A monitor lizard which he tried to bring in. After three tries, he succeeded! It escaped to my bedroom. I threw him in to catch it because I wasn't going to. He managed to trap it in the arm of a sweater thus allowing me to haul it's despicable, loathsome ass out of my home.
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I had a big lean bad motha of a cat once, his name was fattie.
One day I saw him stalking in the living room, while the garden door was open and suddenly he just flew out of there.

When I went up to check, he was in the garden holding not one, but two pigeons and slightly bewildered. Afterall, he was unsure what to do with them, they were both alive and he couldn't let either of them go to finish the other off. It was amusing to say the least.
 
I may have posted this before, but I'm not certain.

One afternoon while I was sitting on the couch reading a book, Hank came into the livingroom from the kitchen. I saw him from the corner of my eye, and glanced up at him for a moment, noticing that as he passed me, his head was turned away at a right angle to his body. He proceeded to walk toward the open attic door, then up the stairs. I thought his having his head turned away was weird, so I put down my book and followed him up the stairs. He was lying on the futon, with a half-loaf of bread between his paws; a little snack he had nabbed while in the kitchen.

It amazes me still how sneakily clever he was to hide his trophy as he walked by me.
 
Couple of cat stories.....

When I was younger, we had a cat named Smokie. One evening, it was Spaghetti night in our house. My mother always served it family style. The spaghetti and meatballs were mixed in a large oversized platter on the table. Smokie snuck onto the counter near the table and proceeded to fly through the air, paws extended, and landed full belly flop on the platter of spaghetti. After the mess was cleaned up, my mother made sandwiches for all of us.

We also had a cat named Butterball. He was a mean, big SOB, weighing in at over 20 pounds (not fat, just big). He was the king of all he surveyed. He'd sit on a hill of dirt and just scan the neighborhood. One day, a Great Dane followed me home from my paper route. As soon as the dog stepped into our yard, Butterball came flying out, jumped on his back, and started clawing away. The dog couldn't get him of his back. My dad and I had to catch the dog and get the cat of his back. I walked the dog back to his house with blood all over his back.
 
I'll also add that cat stories are the best. We're cat lovers. They have the most unique personalities and you always have to wonder if they're plotting your murder.

We currently have three, a 9 year old female and two 3 year old brothers. They provide us with continuous entertainment and aggravation (the boys like having WWF matches in our bedroom at 4 AM).
 
We also have 3 cats, a 17 year old Himmie and 2 Ragdolls that are under a year old. All are males. I normally sleep downstairs on my power recliner and the Himmie sleeps in my lap. At approx 3:30 am, the Ragdolls were bored and decided to start a WWF match in my lap. Need I mention that it was a 2 on 1 match with the old cat being the 1? He chased them upstairs and sat guard at the bottom of the stairs for almost an hour. He is still pissed at the kittens and took a swat at one of them a couple of minutes ago. I love all the cats even if they drive me nuts.:insane:
 
Growing up the family had a Springer Spaniel named Winston who was the world's smartest dog.

One day, the phone rings and it's a guy who says "Is this the owner of Winston? I says, yes it is. He goes "Well, your dog just burrowed under a hedge, climbed a 5 foot chain link fence and was in my back yard tagging my prize poodle. What are you going to do about it?"

I says "Sorry. He must've gotten loose. It'll never happen again." and hung up.

Then I announce to the family what had happened and everybody danced around giving each other high fives.

Winston got extra rations that night to replenish his strength.

We figured that poodle was one lucky bitch.
 
bideau said:
I'll also add that cat stories are the best. We're cat lovers. They have the most unique personalities and you always have to wonder if they're plotting your murder.

We currently have three, a 9 year old female and two 3 year old brothers. They provide us with continuous entertainment and aggravation (the boys like having WWF matches in our bedroom at 4 AM).
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Cats are awesome. Cats are also weird, in that they have not one, but two "I'm gonna kill you" modes.

For example, if a dog corners the cat, he's in a highly agitated "Fight or Flight" Mode where, were you to try to pick up the cat it would most likely scratch the hell out of you because it's in a blind panic.

Yet, when it's in Robo-killer mode, calmly stalking it's prey with no emotion, you can just walk right up and pick it up and it's all "Awww man".

The rest of the time, it's in pure "You're here to serve me" mode.

Bottom line, cats are Sociopathic. I like cats.
 
bideau said:
They have the most unique personalities and you always have to wonder if they're plotting your murder.
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I don't know, you haven't met my jack rascal terrorist...
 
Well I grew up with no indoor pets except for birds, and well they weren't the entertaining kind of birds lol

All I got is the story of the bunny who humped one of the chickens everyday :shrug: Caused him to lose an eye.
 
When I was in high school groceries came home in paper bags. One of the cats, Kasim Sulton, liked to get in the bags and scare the other cats so we always left a few out for him to play with for a few minutes. Well the world progresses and one day the groceries came home in plastic. Kasim tried to get in one but instead got one handle looped around his neck. He ****ing lost his mind! He was running through the house in absolute terror with the bag billowing behind him. My mom laughed so hard she peed her pants.

That cat wouldn't go near plastic bags for the rest of his life. My mom got paper bags as often as she could because he would freak out so bad hearing the plastic rustling.
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patsload said:
Do you? I didn't know that. They're a handful lol!

oh and ya pyx, I did ROFL
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Yep a male and a female they're 16 years old now. They had 2 litters together. Absolutely love them. You forget how smart they are until you see them around other dogs.

~Dee~
 
deec77 said:
Yep a male and a female they're 16 years old now. They had 2 litters together. Absolutely love them. You forget how smart they are until you see them around other dogs.

~Dee~
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Mine's 6 months today. He has issues with excitement urination and if I go upstairs to take a shower and come back he acts as if I've been gone for ages and does the whole praying with his paws in the air thing (I'm sure you know what I mean) :D
 
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