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aloyouis said:
Crazy shit does happen on golf courses...

20+ years ago in Myrtle Beach for a guys golf week a buddy of mine from Lexington Kentucky was having a particularly bad day. Somewhere along the back nine after a topped tee shot bounded into the small lake in front of the tea he threw his driver into the water. I guess that's not all that unusual but what he did after the round was. Noticing a company was on premises diving for golf balls he paid the diver $50 to go into the pond and retrieve his driver. He found it. I have video tape of it. We were crying.
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I have been known for losing my shit on the course. I have thrown clubs, which is considered bad form, but I have never thrown a club in the water.
I have encountered animals on the course including many deer, snakes,fox, a bear. Last year what I thought was a stray dog ran out on the fairway just in back of me. It didn't look very healthy and when it stopped to look me over I knew it was a coyote.

I had a 7 iron in my hand to defend myself if it turned on me, thinking it might be rabid. I swear to God, my next thought was if I had enough club in my hand.
Anyway, it turned and ran over to the pond, had a drink, and ran back in the woods.
 
I once lost dozen of golf balls in a round of nine… I was going to play 18 but I decided to call it a day.
 
Golf? Golf? Hmm. Is that the game Adam Sandler plays where you use a hockey stick and slapshot a little white ball around some green space?

I'll have to look it up. 🙃
 
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Off this week. Golfing 4 times. My elbow is hurting me as I type this in protest.

Should be fun. 2 days of father/son golf 3 hours north of here. 1 afternoon with a buddy I haven't golfed with in 10 years (he was at the club dive/rescue) and a father v son Fathers Day scramble with 3 buddies and their sons (all of whom I coached in hockey at some point, they still call me coach Jim).

I need to buy balls...
 
Weird golf story.

The course I play in my Monday might league was brand new and one of the par 5s paralleled the back yards of a row of houses. There were no fences and just small bushes and a row of
red stakes marking the out of bounds. So, I pull my tee shot and it rolls one foot past the out of bounds stakes, so that was going to cost me a penalty stroke even though I still had a clear shot.

Then, I notice there is a puppy from the closest back yard watching me and wagging it's tail. It was not tied up, so I go "C'mere boy.....get the ball...." and the pup comes over and
picks my ball up in it's mouth. "Bring it to me, boy....NICE DOGGIE" and damn if it doesn't come over to drop the ball right at my feet and well inside the stakes, which earned it
an nice ear scratch and much praise.

Now I've read the rules from the Royal and Ancient and there is all sorts of stuff about rubs of the green and insect mounds, but there is not one thing about not using a smart animal to
bend the rules a little bit, so I didn't have a problem with it at the time even though it was an actual competition that involved money.

Of course, the Gods of golf karma decided to punish me by making every bounce and roll a bad one for about the next month.

I stick to the rules now. Those characters can be cruel.
 
I played my first 18 in over two years yesterday. It was on a different course that has actual fairways and roughs. IT. WAS. BRUTAL. I shot a smooth 132 while my partner was somewhere in the low 70s. Lost my Patriots divot tool too. But I'll be damned if I didn't smile and laugh the whole time.
 
Alk said:
I played my first 18 in over two years yesterday. It was on a different course that has actual fairways and roughs. IT. WAS. BRUTAL. I shot a smooth 132 while my partner was somewhere in the low 70s. Lost my Patriots divot tool too. But I'll be damned if I didn't smile and laugh the whole time.
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Been there done that….
 
I found out early on when I play with someone that is 20 to 30 shots better than me I feel rushed and fuck up even more…. When I play someone that is a low 90’s player I end up playing my average. That can be anywhere from 85 to 102.

My favorite holes were dogleg to the right. My natural slice worked perfectly for those holes.
Quick story one time St Chicopee country club I hit a duck hook over a hill and I hit a guy. (Never saw him, hill blocked my vision.) I heard him yell and I cringed and I went up to the top of the hill to apologize… He said ” it’s OK you hit me in the belt and it never hurt. It just startled me.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was one grateful teenager.
 
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Reactions: Alk
Some of the rules are cloudy. No one that I've played with carries a rule book with them. If there was such a guy I wouldn't want to play with him anyway.
Example. I hit my drive up a steep bank at the edge of a wooded area. When I found my ball it was playable. There was a large twig in front of the ball. I removed the twig, never touched the ball and the twig never touched the ball.
However as I was setting up to take the shot, the ball started rolling down the bank all the way to the edge of the fairway.
One guy said it was a penalty. Another guy said it wasn't. The 3rd guy didn't know, and didn't want to guess. So, we flipped a coin and like Matt Slater I called heads, no penalty.
 
Monday nights are my golf league night so I walk in the clubhouse to pay this afternoon and discovered that I had a really good night last Monday. I tied for
the league lead with a plus 4 over quota (25 bucks clubhouse credit), won the closest to the pin hole (3 feet from pin, 43 bucks cash) and took a skin on the
same hole with a birdie (50 bucks cash). Basically, this was a bit lucky as my shot to the pin was low, but it kept running and rolled up tight. It isn't "how" it's "how many"
as the saying goes.

118 bucks is the most I've ever won and I'm not going to lie-- it felt pretty good. The league is bigger this year than usual and more players means more money. This doesn't mean I'm some shit-hot golfer, but, so far I have started out the season a lot better than usual.

It's great to have people regarding me with suspicion because I'm more or less relevant. A threat. I had another birdie tonight so I'm sure that'll get worse.

Don't look back, bitches, something might be gaining on you. I don't care what you say about me, just spell my name right.
 
Last three times out 46 on the front 9 and 46 on the back 9 =`92. I don't think that has ever happened before. Excact same score 3 rounds in a row.
 
Weird Golf Story II

I read this tale in a Golf magazine a few years ago but couldn't find it online to quote. It was a "hole in one special" issue. I have to go on memory and some of the details might be a little off, but
this should be pretty close:

So, there is a club somewhere (Ohio?) where the members had an annual tournament for themselves and it was always a big deal for all concerned with much alcohol and
hijinks. The 3rd hole was a par 3 and after playing it, Joe, a very popular guy around the joint, tells his partners that he's not feeling so hot. It sounded like he
might be having a heart attack. He didn't look good either and one of the group takes off to find a Doctor (who had a defibrillator) who was also playing in the event. Another
calls for an ambulance.

Meanwhile, Joe takes a turn for the worse and goes unresponsive and they lay him on his back and start frantic and continual CPR. No pulse, not beathing. It takes about 20 minutes to get the Doctor back and Joe looks like a goner. Everybody is distraught and there is quite a crowd gathered around hoping for a miracle. Finally, after repeated tries, they get his heart started
and his eyes open and he asks "what happened?", everybody is extremely relieved, but he was out for a long time. The ambulance arrives and, yes, the guy had a significant heart attack and requires all kinds of time to work his way back to regular life thanks largely to the efforts of his friends who kept the CPR going even when it appeared he was quite dead.

One year later, Joe had still not played golf, but he decides to play in the annual tournament again. They decide to make him the honorary Captain or whatever and hit the
first shot and that came on the same par 3 where he came back from the dead. A huge crowd of well-wishers rings the tee box giving him a good-natured hard time and there is a celebratory
feeling in the air. Joe, who was using brand-new clubs and hadn't even taken a practice swing since the heart attack hits a perfect shot as everybody howled and it rolls straight into the cup for an ace.

Pandemonium ensued.
 
ParanoidPatriot said:
I have been known for losing my shit on the course. I have thrown clubs, which is considered bad form, but I have never thrown a club in the water.
I have encountered animals on the course including many deer, snakes,fox, a bear. Last year what I thought was a stray dog ran out on the fairway just in back of me. It didn't look very healthy and when it stopped to look me over I knew it was a coyote.

I had a 7 iron in my hand to defend myself if it turned on me, thinking it might be rabid. I swear to God, my next thought was if I had enough club in my hand.
Anyway, it turned and ran over to the pond, had a drink, and ran back in the woods.
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Just saw news item that a man in Swampscott MA was bitten by a coyote while standing in a bank parking lot.
I'm definitely bringing my driver with me when playing alone. At my age I'm not exactly the Roadrunner, so I have to stand my ground.
 
ParanoidPatriot said:
Some of the rules are cloudy. No one that I've played with carries a rule book with them. If there was such a guy I wouldn't want to play with him anyway.
Example. I hit my drive up a steep bank at the edge of a wooded area. When I found my ball it was playable. There was a large twig in front of the ball. I removed the twig, never touched the ball and the twig never touched the ball.
However as I was setting up to take the shot, the ball started rolling down the bank all the way to the edge of the fairway.
One guy said it was a penalty. Another guy said it wasn't. The 3rd guy didn't know, and didn't want to guess. So, we flipped a coin and like Matt Slater I called heads, no penalty.
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There is one in my bag. I learned a hard lesson in one of the first member/member's I played in when I found myself in a disagreement over whether a practice swing that accidentally removed a leaf from a tree is considered "improving stance".
 
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Challenging (or crazy) undulating green complexes at Black Shire in Oscoda, MI this morning.

Believe it when I tell you this picture doesn't show enough of the actual slopes on this green.
 
ParanoidPatriot said:
Just saw news item that a man in Swampscott MA was bitten by a coyote while standing in a bank parking lot.
I'm definitely bringing my driver with me when playing alone. At my age I'm not exactly the Roadrunner, so I have to stand my ground.
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Sand wedge. Shorter for more accuracy and and much heavier head for more effect if need be.
 
My philosophy for a round of golf is the day I throw a club Im done lol. Ive got a day job.... Hubby ugh. Well accept at a coyote....

~Dee~
 
deec77 said:
My philosophy for a round of golf is the day I throw a club Im done lol. Ive got a day job.... Hubby ugh.

~Dee~
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I think the context of the club as a weapon was in the close proximity of a wild animal.
 
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