The official "Why was Mark Brunell really crying" thread

[Jaric]

Let's have some fun. I find the idea that a grown man would be weeping on television over under inflated footballs beyond absurd even for ESPN. So clearly there is something else going on here and we're going to figure it out.

Now, keep on mind you'll be held to the same high standards ESPN holds their reporters to, so make sure to say that a league source told you whatever Mumbo jumbo you decide to post.

 

[dchester]

The best I can come up with is, I guess his hero disappointed him.

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[HarpoonIPA]

I've only read about this, is there video of it so I can finally have a good laugh

 

[EasyBigFella]

He's crying because he just got his bank statement in the mail...

 

[Jaric]

Per League sources: He's crying because he just got his bank statement in the mail...

Fixed.

 

[patriots pam]

Simple. An sign of his internal conflict. He wanted to say he believed TB based on his experience as a former QB. But BSPN wasn't having none of that shit. They said, "You want a check? You want to feed your family? Then get your broke ass in front of that camera and say TB is a liar. Or go home with nothing. Your choice."

 

[Joe]

He wasn't crying, he was holding in a laugh

 

[BostonTim]

According to reliable league sources, Brunell was emotionally overwhelmed at finally being back in front of the camera. "i haven't felt this important" he sobbed, "since Sanchez honored me by using my uni as a snot rag."

 

[Roberto71]

He found out that Sanchez had indeed been riding his daughter like Sea Biscuit.

 

[Big/Sky/Fly]

He lied to his investors and was forced to declare bankruptcy...this man's lack of logic and excessive greed is the voice of reason.

Brunell can go F himself.

 

[TommyD420]

Per super-reliable unnamed sources who may or may not be Curt Schilling, Brunell received a subpoena to testify before a grand jury regarding his latest bankruptcy, including bilking investors out of million of dollars.

In another report, unnamed Salvation Army sources are requesting Brunell return that suit he's wearing. It's a loaner, not for keepsies.

 

[ParanoidPatriot]

He just found out that his balls were deflated.

 

[O.Z.O.]

Because he's a bitch?

 

[Pneumonic]

It runs in the family

 

[Claremonster]

Per League Sources: He was thinking inside "You like me, You really like me!"

 

[HSanders]

His junk was caught in his zipper and even sitting down was painful?

 

[bideau]

He just realized that his life has sunk so low that he's sitting next to Jerome Bettis on ESPN.

 

[Annihilus]

According to sources close to the situation, it is 'because Mark is a little bitch.'

 

[O.Z.O.]

According to sources close to the situation, it is 'because Mark is a little bitch.'

He definitely played like one.

 

[Big/Sky/Fly]

It runs in the family

His daughter? I'd hit it...